Battling Beauties and Gracious Geeks—Special Moments and Musings
Battling Beauties and Gracious Geeks—Special Moments and Musings by Roxanne McDonald
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I’ll abstain from giving a full recap and just recount some special moments in Beauty and the Geek. |
I’ll leave the full (and most thorough) recapping to the funnier writers like Logan Huffmanron and others at Reality TV Calendar, and instead propose another look at the cutest, funniest, and more endearing (or at least engaging) moments, comments, and contestants as they appeared on episode four of Beauty and the Geek. I will even spare the lengthy here and just list, comment upon, or grunt at….
1. When Nate and Cecille return as victors from the Elimination Room and everyone screams and cheers for Nate like he’s Norm from “Cheers”, but completely ignore Cecille. Now that was harsh.
2. Megan interviewing how all that thinking and studying, all that brain activity, poor thing, is wearing on her [and therefore how she will welcome a sandy-ego excursion—
which she thinks is a vacation/reward…heh-heh].
3. When, after host Mike Richards informs the girls they will be studying waves, air waves, Megan interviews how her knowledge falls far short while her use of electronics is prolific, especially with her fav…wait, she catches herself….
4. Geek analogies and metaphors—like the one Nate uses to describe his fitness status: he says he is like a bottle of spoiled milk, all chunky and white…. Wow. Quite an image, Nate, but most original nonetheless.
5. The inevitability of at least one geek getting car sick.
6. Another analogy of sorts: Drew impressing upon Erin how infrequently he works out, saying that the last time he did so, Bill Clinton was president [and of course, Star Wars was big].
7. A similar comfort with exercise/working out: when Cecille takes the funniest geek ever to the weight room to start what will be his own version of a workout session lead by him (the competition requires each geek to run a session), Nate points to what he calls heavy-looking things—weights/dumbbells.
8. Another moment indicative of geek/work-out familiarity: Mario bouncing rather than of course appropriately using the giant work-out ball.
9. How Niels insists on defying the frustrated Jennylee. Again.
(read more…)
Top Chef Double Disappointments
Top Chef Double Disappointments by Roxanne McDonald
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What is it with the finalists who are so tacky that they turn on fellow competitors at the eleventh hour? |
We remember Laura, on Bravo’s “Project Runway”—how she accused Jeffrey Sebelia of cheating when he produced more and better than she for the final runway show (and when she wasn’t even the astute one: it was her mother who was visiting Jeffrey’s mother and came to Laura with the suggestion to accuse him of cheating).
And of course we recall—as it happened just a couple of weeks ago—how Cliff pulled the bullying act on Marcel, pinning him down in attempts to team shave his head (though the others refused).
Now we have the one who was too snooty for my tastes to begin with, Elia, standing at the close of the penultimate episode in front of the judges and muttering how Marcel cheated all the way through the competition.
Okay…what? First, while Marcel was equally dislikeable in most episodes, he was to my knowledge never accused of, seen, or involved with cheating. Wasn’t that the long dead in the kitchen water professor or someone—who got the free case of lychees by stashing them under the shopping cart where the checker failed to notice?
Next, wasn’t Elia the only one who was kind to Marcel? Okay, she concedes to this in interview, but when did she witness him cheating? Oh, wait, she explains that because she was using (or more likely, about to use, thinking of using) a particular burner [since there always seemed to be a shortage of stovetop units] and because Marcel noted that the pan was not doing anything but sitting there and he announced he was moving her cheese or whatever…that, to Elia, equals cheating.
HBO and BBC’s Extras—Another too Well-kept Secret
HBO and BBC’s Extras—Another too Well-kept Secret by Roxanne McDonald
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Biting and wry at once as it targets the pitiable and pitiful celeb-wannabe, “Extras” is a lovely surprise for the channel surfer who happens upon it. |
“Extras”. It’s BBC’s answer to the void left by the Benny Hills. It’s American TV’s answer to the void left by the Bob Newharts. And it is one of the best satires on pay-TV today.
I happened upon “Extras” when I was channel surfing once my regular line-up was finished for the night. Fortunately for me, this Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant creation was the perfect bedtime sit-com, subtle, sardonic, and silly in all the right places. Unfortunately for me, I came into this discovery way too late, arriving in time to see episode eight of season 2.
On the third hand, the episode I caught made me an instant follower (impelling me to note the channel—HBO 504, here—and the title, so the next morning I could search like mad for the sweetest of subtle mad-cap shows). Andy Millman (the name making the show already cheeky funny) is an actor in his forties. Andy Millman only recently gave up a steady job to pursue an acting career. Andy Millman has landed a gig as the star of a marginally popular sitcom. That is, in the margins is where the critics put him and his sitcom, and in the margins is where the lowest common denominator recognize him—making for bittersweet (mostly bitter) payoffs. (read more…)
Trading Spouses, Turning Tables
Trading Spouses, Turning Tables by Roxanne McDonald
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The hyper-psycho-Christian calms down, but her new hubby more than makes up for the missing dramatics |
Marguerite was a holy roller from hell, really, her first time around on “Trading Spouses.” She was relentless about her faith—to the point of zealotry and alienating everyone she came in contact with. Her friends and neighbors, who visited the traded mommy, were equally unrelenting and cruel about their religion being superior, etc.
But when Marguerite made such an impact (was so horrendous she made the ratings soar, I imagine), FOX invited her back to switch partners once again. This time,
however, Marguerite was calm, almost docile, almost a lobotomy patient to her former self. She had watched the original airing and was embarrassed by her behavior and attitude. She decided to take the money (she originally declined, most vociferously, because it was relegated/parceled out by the other mom, who was a pagan and who therefore had tainted the money)—and get a stomach stapling or something.
Thinner, calmer, and reticent about round two, Marguerite meets Abasi—and gets knocked down to second place in the all-time most obnoxious reality TV personality category.
Abasi is moderately handsome, is probably the most intelligent and most articulate reality TV presence to date…and is hideously cruel and contradictory. He is on a black advocacy trip that allows for no interruption, disruption, or intrusion of whites. He is redundant. He is tendentious. He is relentless, making Marguerite’s former tirades look like sessions by a kindergarten teacher.
Abasi gets all passive aggressive, a little paranoid-delusional, and borderline abusive…until the sagacious Connie, one of Abasi’s friends yanks him by the collar (figuratively) and advises him to tone it down, be kinder, and keep his position but pay no mind to how others concede, resist, or retreat. Connie is brilliant in her presentation, which diffuses Abasi’s rage and shines a light into his tunnel vision.
Though it is a few days too late.
The Second Installment of Season Six Simonisms
The Second Installment of Season Six Simonisms by Roxanne McDonald
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Granted, either Simon is getting tired or the judges have agreed he tone down his torturous commentaries, so the critiques are tamer this season, but the delightful debasing of Idol hopefuls who have no chance (have no business auditioning) is still apparent. |
Sure, we have to give him more credit this the sixth season of American Idol—for being softer with the more sensitive auditioners, for even using endearing terms and all. But the creative and thoughtful quipping also continues to make for worthy entertainment. Here is the second series of Simonese:
~I thought it was corny, cabaret, over the top….
~I couldn’t understand a word of that….
~I’ll tell you what it was like: it was like how we’ve all been to those weddings where we get drunk, [and] after a few beers get up on the stage and everybody sings “Footloose”. [Then fall off the stage.]
[To a woman auditioning in a revealing halter dress]
~Well, J–, you are a handful.
~What are we supposed to say after that?
~Let me give you an item of advice in show business: when someone’s down… kick them.
Boardroom Blurring: The Apprentice Contestant Who Forgot Which Show She was On
Boardroom Blurring: The Apprentice Contestant Who Forgot Which Show She was On by Roxanne McDonald
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Did Michelle, in denial, quit? Or was she justified in her reasons for leaving “The Apprentice”? |
We have to put Michelle’s leaving “The Apprentice” into context. Given the boardroom trickery of “My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss”, then considering how Omarosa [hissssss] shows up in a mock boardroom challenge on “I Love New York,” then taking into account the consistent trend of separating groups into A- and B-lists (ala “Surreal Life Fame Games”), and finally, adding how “The
Apprentice” changed format this season, it might be understandable that a competitor would turn a nose up at [unexpected] humiliating experiences. (Though I did note how those tents have electricity and blankets and water, so I question how “rough” the “losers” really have it.)
So Michelle has had to live in Tent City with her fellow losing Arrow teammates. This, because they have lost every challenge thus far to Kinetic, whose members live in luxury, are warm and dry at night, have gourmet foods, and who even have had the opportunities to indulge in the most empowering of all—the saunas, drinks, and massages…which contribute, as you know, to spiritual and hence physical health.
This, she announces, is not what she signed up for.
At the same time, she likely did sign up for whatever the Trumpire [yep, you read the newest coined term here first] would subject contestants to (read that contract again, Michelle). She was an intrusive, disruptive team player, according to other contestants. And she did make for a weak PM.
Surreal Life Fame Gamers Boo-hoo about Getting B-listed
Surreal Life Fame Gamers Boo-hoo about Getting B-listed by Roxanne McDonald
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The hardest, most humiliating part of competing on the all-star version of The Surreal Life is landing on the B List. But as one of them acknowledges, they will all end up going back to their real lives anyway, so who cares? |
Still, the contestants are taking their fate on Surreal Life Fame Games quite seriously:
Chyna Doll gets terribly unnerved when she gets the fewest picks of her as one to pose with fans.
Ron Jeremy is indignant when his acting talents (which he boasts include a history of so many hundreds of “feature” films?) are graded harshly (he is like fifth worst in this acting competition the show designs for the last A-List B-List competition).
Vern Troyer sulks for the first three weeks—either because he has been coerced into replacing Jordan Knight (when he has to leave due to a death in the family) or because he is the first, along with Chyna, to be exiled to the B-List wing of the mansion…where, as Robin Leach describes it, the B-listers will enjoy shabby surroundings, substandard
amenities, and the lingering stench of mediocrity.
And Brigitte takes the slight of the A-listers getting better treatment at the casinos, combined with a toe tag joke played on her by Ron while she is sleeping, as slight enough to impel her right out the door.
They Love New York, but She Loves Their Money
They Love New York, but She Loves Their Money by Roxanne McDonald
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Not that she admits it, but a whole episode of “I Love New York” centered on money-making potential says otherwise. |
I don’t know which I enjoyed more, the contradictions or the cameo appearance of the disgusting Omarosa, but episode 3 of “I Love New York” got into the ridiculously greedy and the absurdly aligned with other reality TV (like, ahem, The Apprentice?).
The show opens with a kind of bully and the 97-pound weakling comic ad of the sixties and seventies: of all to compare themselves to each other, Twelve-pack and Bonez strip to the waist and show off abs and such. It is kinda cute that one of the other guys actually counts Bonez’s
abs, defined as they are. And it is sweet that Bonez is humble. Mom loves him, you know, because he is religious, and New York accepts him. In fact, both women consider him “the total package”. Hmmm. Okay.
The comparisons continue as the men are prompted to prepare portfolios that depict their earning potential—for New York needs a man who can bring home the bacon. Many are clueless (but pretend they’re not) about graphs and charts and resumes and all, but Pootie is most creative: he reverts to grade school behavior, steals a bar graph from Twelve-pack and when confronted, says, “Your name wasn’t on it” and admonishes him that he should know better since in school if your name isn’t on your paper someone can steal it (?) I never realized the copyright issues were than involved for third-graders, but, okay.
Of all the suited men and promising pitches, Pootie’s is of course the most failed, and for some reason, though he is most inept, Omarosa ironically praises his honesty (that is wrong on so many levels, as you know), and Mom (now called Sister Patterson) takes Pootie to dinner as a consolation.
Pootie is all shaky and jonesing like, and Sister P. cuts the diner dinner short, taking him back to the house where she reports there is a problem and he really needs to go and get help. (Earlier, evidently, Pootie had had issues in the boyz’ quarters, had fainted, had fallen, etc.). Pootie resigns to go someplace, sit down, and talk to someone, so the implications are that he is mentally needful of some shrink help.
Panties and Pics and Double Dips: “I Love New York” Episode 2
Panties and Pics and Double Dips: “I Love New York” Episode2 by Roxanne McDonald
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Personal agendas and personal affronts do nothing to deter New York on her mission to find her man. |
Nothing really unusual or unique opens the second episode of “I Love New York”. Rather, besides getting to see some of the boyz lounge about and start their day in scanty boy panties, she and the screecher hold a beauty contest for the men, expecting each to present himself by dancing and air-humping and exposing his torso. Most of the men are good sports. Mr. Boston as pasty as he is delights the women, as does Romance (albeit temporarily, so don’t get attached), who does a riding simulation that is more comical than seductive.
Token, Mom says, has some eeew grey ashy areas she describes as “mossy”. Onyx continues to make New York swoon.
The fourth runner is wins a “kick in the pants” (Trance?). The third runner up wins absolutely nothing (Romance). The second runner-up, first runner-up, and winner get a group date; and first-runner up gets an autographed pic and panties of/belonging to New York, while the winner gets a one-on-one date with her.
Twelve-pack gets runner-up, and keeps the picture of New York right by his bed. Either because of his status in the contest or his threatening presence, however, Romance tells New York in private that Twelve-pack is double-dipping. (Now, while this might seem to be a smart move, showing you have her back, you surely must recall that on every other dating show like this one the tattler gets booted soon thereafter, Romance. So while the guys are getting all worked up over your playing with house pet, you are not all that much of a threat, you know.)
The “Three’s Company” tune plays as the group date participants cavort on the Santa Monica Pier. New York interviews that she is having a lot of fun but cannot wait for her one-on-one date with White Boy. As he takes her breath away, she says, what better place than a Ferris wheel for a date? I am not sure I get the analogy, but again, I have to hand it to New York: her appeal is in her ability to detail events and characterize her boyz in a more than typical way. So let her have her odd attempts at metaphors.
More interesting is how she is comfortable enough to scarf away at fair food, as White Boy tenderly wipes away a crumb with a napkin.
CBS Season Premiere of Survivor Fiji Islands on Feb. 8
CBS Season Premiere of Survivor 14 Fiji Islands on Feb. 8 by Mike Liebner
Are you ready for the season premiere of Survivor: Fiji on February 8, 2007?
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I am ready for Survivor 14 Fiji! In fact, I have been craving Survivor more than ever! |
Over the Christmas holiday while visiting family I finally removed the plastic off the DVD and watched every single episode of the first Survivor!
Which one was that… oh yeah… Survivor Borneo Season One.
I must admit I tried like crazy to NOT watch Survivor the first 4 or 5 seasons when it came out. I was one of those “no time for Reality tv” type peoples. That all changed with Survivor Thailand when I gave in and watched. I was immediately hooked.
So now, here I am in between Survivor Cook Islands and Survivor Fiji and I am having cravings for Survivor! So I did rapid fire burn through that season one DVD and I was very happy to see it. I must say that it was PALE by comparison to the current day Survivor shows as Jeff Probst and the gang have come a long way. But it was fun to see the rough and tumble creation of what would become a TV dynasty for Mark Burnett. (read more…)
Living With Ed on HGTV
Living with Ed premieres on HGTV.
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Well, I must admit it - I never expected to be tuning in to HGTV, much less to watch a reality tv show starring Ed Begley Jr. But I did and I must say it was more enjoyable than expected. |
As you may or may not know, Ed’s claim to fame was as Victor Ehrlich in the old hit tv show St.Elsewhere, of which I was a big fan.
Since then Ed has made a lot of appearances on other shows most notably Arrested Development and Six Feet Under. He has also appeared in a few high profile movies including Best In Show.
Current day, Ed Begley Jr. has become known for his quirky adoption and promotion of green type living practices, with his home as a role model with solar powered everything.
First off I must say that Ed and his wife Rachelle Carson live in Studio City, California and that just a few years ago I too lived in “the Valley” in neighboring Sherman Oaks. I had seen Ed and his family in the hood on more than a few occasions. In fact I saw him at Fashion Square Mall a few times in the food court. So when I saw there was a reality tv show with Ed I took up an interest and decided to watch.
Tivo snagged the first episode of Living With Ed for me and I must admit I have since added a season pass for it. It’s pretty good, although not as exciting as Survivor, but hey, it’s a quick fun show to watch. So far at least. (read more…)
What in Hell Were They Thinking? They Weren’t: Top Cheftestants Risk it all with Rowdy Actions
What in Hell Were They Thinking? They Weren’t: Top Cheftestants Risk it all with Rowdy Actions by Roxanne McDonald
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They were all pretty giddy, but Cliff ruined it for himself when he acted on his silly, his willy nilly, and of course his pissy. |
We the audience have expressed earlier dislike for Marcel, who with his superiority thing turned us off.
Fellow Top Cheftestants disliked Marcel for his lofty attitude, his childishness (as Sam described it), and his aggravation of Betty, then Ilan, then Cliff.
But while Marcel may have alienated everyone but his mother, he was also treated so badly that the producers of Top Chef had to step in. After the successful Quickfire
Challenge, wherein the guest chef Cliff called a “demigod” of cooking, Eric Ripert, deemed their creations beautifully balanced and “perfection”, the final five were already amped. But after the Elimination Challenge, wherein while they were doing the usual amount of in-fighting and a couple of usual tragedies (fish falling on the floor, chocolate not tempered correctly) occurred, the final fibve were so well received that they went back to their loft and commenced drinking. (read more…)
On the Lot Should be Hot
On the Lot Should be Hot by Roxanne McDonald
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Doing a service to neophyte filmmakers, “On the Lot” should prove to be successful. |
“On the Lot” looks like it will move beyond the mere reality genre and will do a service to filmmaking hopefuls. Like a rare few other reality TV programs, “On the Lot” will combine mentoring and moviemaking with the exposure TV tends to give contestants, winner and runners-up included.
Executive producer Mark Burnett knows TV perhaps better than any other in his league—with such successes as “Survivor”, “The Apprentice,” “The Restaurant,” and “Gold Rush” some of the biggest reality TV contenders.
Steven Spielberg knows and is known the world over for some of the best movies of all time—including ET, The Color Purple, Schindler’s List, Close Encounters…, and Jaws.
Now put the two genii together, add contestants, and you have “Project Greenlight” meets “…Actors’ Studio” on Red Bull.
The obvious entertainment value is a given.
The talent-search premise is a given.
But more, the benefits to real individuals with real hopes for filmmaking help are the key characteristics: as Spielberg says in one interview, “All through my career I’ve done what I can to discover new talent and give them a start….” Just as Burnett has inadvertently done with reality TV stars like Rob and Amber Moriano, Spielberg and Burnett will do double for aspiring movie makers.
“On the Lot” airs on FOX this spring.
SirLinksAlot On the Lot Links
You Want to Cut the Violence on TV? Stars with those Hideous Commercials
You Want to Cut the Violence on TV? Stars with those Hideous Commercials
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How violence harms our children could be compared to how much advertising does the same. When you combine the two, you may as well say goodbye to innocence. |
Numerous and thorough studies done on the impact of violence on our kids suggests we tone down or moderate. Parental controls finally provide one solution, giving parents the responsibility they for so long were accused of denying. Okay.
But how do parents control the commercials their children are bombarded with?
As Levine Breaking News reports, “Violence on broadcast television is nearing ‘epidemic proportions,’ surging 75% over the last six years while posing a threat to children that government officials need to address, according to a new study by the Parents Television Council. ABC has the sharpest increase in the study.”
At the same time, as CBS News reports, kids see some 40,000 TV ads a year.
Now make those ads violent, and the whole construction of healthy development of our children is leveled. I’m speaking of the most hideous, most obnoxious, and most shamelessly disgusting ad I have yet to mute: the Volkwagen crashing violently, scaring the hell out of the happy movie-goers or relationship musers, then cutting to a showroom-style offering of the now-crashed and crunched vehicle.
This ad pisses me off. It is loud, violent, and resorts to the appeal to fear strategies I thought we had outlawed. As much as I abhor censorship and the ignorant who wield it, I still say get rid of these stupid, stupid ads.
Visibly Drunk… or Invisibly Medicated? The Inaccuracy of Impressions of Paula Abdul
Visibly Drunk… or Invisibly Medicated? The Inaccuracy of Impressions of Paula Abdul by Roxanne McDonald
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She was reportedly “visibly” drunk, but was Paula Abdul olfactorily drunk? Or does her condition warrant medications that make her appear loaded? |
Paula Abdul has been accused of public drunkenness before. The comments usually took the form of
joking—about what she was drinking in that big Coca-Cola cup at the panel table on American Idol sets. But it has become “news”. Just recently, Paula, doing the obligatory press junket on the Northwest coast, was accused of making a “curious appearance” on Seattle’s Q13 FOX Morning News, reportedly “slurring” her words, “giggling”, and not “knowing what was going on” (as the satellite tech problems distracted and confused her [her rep responded].
But if one would review her history, one would have more information than implication to work with:
First, Paula was involved in a cheerleading accident in 1979 that ruptured a back disc.
Next, in the 1980s, she was in “a couple of car accidents” (according to MSNBC.com). These would be followed by another in 2005.
In 1992, Paula was on a plane which had to make an emergency landing.
In 1998, she became paralyzed—long enough to be plied with [experimental] drugs and pain killers and hurtful enough that, along with the aggravation of the previous incidents and more recent diagnoses, she has come to require heavier meds than her critics could likely handle.
Now, Paula Abdul has survived what has finally been discovered as a rare, painful [chronic] neurological disorder: Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (RSD). So while the years of trials, experimental drugs, physical therapy, acupuncture, and even live leech therapy have been traumatic enough, the drug she now takes, prescribed Enbrel, while it relieves some of her pain, does little to tone down the drama queens who wrongly infer Paula is drunk.
She is, however, tougher than they—having gone through pain so unbearable no outsider, no onlooker can ever accurately know. Evidently.
SirLinksAlot American Idol Links
Simonese: The Best of Simon Cowellisms
Simonese: The Best of Simon Cowellisms by Roxanne McDonald
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I have been meaning to compile these Simon Cowell slams for a while now. But the big question is this: will Simon slam me for doing so? Tremble tremble. |
They are wrapped in the coolest and snootiest of British accent. They are often original, and just as often cutting and even downright mean. They are the sayings, the analogies, metaphors, witticisms, and downright invectives, we have come to love to hate, as issued by the
world-renowned executive producer (and millionaire because of all of the above) Simon Cowell:
~It’s an absolute, categorical never.
~I don’t know what I’m doing on this show anymore…. The point you’re taking is absolutely absurd.
~It was juvenile, tuneless, mediocre, and horrible.
~It was one of the strangest auditions I’ve ever heard in my life.
~How long have you stayed in Minnesota for?
[auditioner response:6 months]
Long enough.
~You have just summed up Minnesota Mate…. Even the juggling was pathetic.
~It was almost as bad as it could possibly get.
~[auditioner: I’ve had 10 years of training and I don’t understand why they didn’t tell me before….]
I’ll tell you why…because I wasn’t your teacher.
[auditioner: What could I do to improve?]
Leave.
~[auditioner complains she can’t sing well tonight for she has a dry throat]
It’s not a cold; it’s not a dry throat. It’s the fact you can’t sing…. You could lie in a bath with your mouth open and it still wouldn’t [be good].
~[auditioner complains she is sick, and hence…yup…can’t sing well tonight]
Don’t give it to anyone else.
~I’m not being rude, but…that was horrendous.
24 and Jack are back! 4 hours kick butt!
Well, my buddy Kiefer Sutherland may not have walked away with a Golden Globe the other night, but he did walk away with 2 of the best season premiere episodes in recent tv memory!
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Sunday and Monday gave us back to back 2 hour episodes of the best action tv series on television! 24 with Kiefer Sutherland is back on Fox! |
How do they do it? Season after season it’s as good as it was or maybe even better!
Episode 1 was a killer as we saw a tortured and near dead Jack Bauer return from Chinese prison and it’s interrogation. Jack has balls because the China dude said to tell your president that we couldn’t get Jack to talk… Hooray!
A badly sliced up and scarred Jack made us feel sympathetic but it did not take long from Jack to go from his “die for the USA” mission to a complete turn around and lead the US efforts to thwart terrorist attacks!
You go Jack!
24’s season premiere episode 2 was riveting as well and ended with a nuclear bomb going off. Just as we thought Jack was at the end of his rope and gave up we find he is now back in the game to save the USA!
You go Jack!
I don’t know about you but 24 is the best show on TV and I can’t wait for next Mondays new 1 hour episode.. boy, I wish they’d all be 2 hours! That’s be intense!
Oh, and isn’t it cool? You can already get the DVD with the 2 two hour season premiere episodes! How’s that for catering to the 24 fan base! Kudos to Fox on this one!
AI is not for Artificial Intelligence, but AMERICAN IDOL!
AI is not for Artificial Intelligence, but AMERICAN IDOL! by Roxanne McDonald
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Known the world over now, AI returns for another hyper-engaged and engaging season…and all 40 million of us are screaming cheers or muttering jeers right along with the auditoriums of auditioners. |
Jesus, has American Idol gotten huge. The years past, when the show began—showing the first few nights of auditions, the good, the bad, the crazy, in lines around the block(s)—it was exciting and loud and endearing. Now, now, however, Idol has grown so large that abbreviations and allusions are understood, stay-at-home fans are anxious and calculating days until next seasons or series episodes are starting, and the holding areas for the auditioners are no longer cordoned-off lines but whole amphitheatres or auditoriums.
Last night, January 16, 2007, the opening night, the intro featured Ryan Seacrest, of course, and clips and teasers, and scenes wherein tens of thousands of hopefuls all chanted in unison, “I AM THE NEXT AMERICAN IDOL!”
Maybe this was just for impact and advertising, but maybe it was also to illustrate the exponential popularity and utility of a show that is so big that the producers and participants have to go to even greater lengths in the making of the next one–and only one–Idol.
To highlight greatness, Seacrest’s script included a reminder of last season’s winner, Taylor Hicks (who got numerous shout-outs throughout the night), a clip and mention of the great finale and surprise (man, was it ever) performance…by Prince, and the number of viewers: 40 million. That’s one seventh of the population of the United States. That’s a superbowl number. That’s the number of dollars only a carload of Americans can boast being worth.
Also big were the attitudes and faith systems, the clothing choices, and a very small number of the voices: crack baby now 16, Denise Jackson, for instance, blew (in a good way) a mean rendition of a Jennifer Holiday piece (the classic a number of previous Idol contestants have used).
There were of course the proud and brave, the soldiers with the beautiful tenor voices; there were the auditioners who were sure that, sheeeut, they could do better than any Idol contestant or winner previous; the doorknobs and dildoes showed up, dressed like Apollo Creed (and, I think blowing the chance as he had an aria that was melodious as hell) or doing a tendentious imitation of already established (but Idol irrelevant) musical character like The Cowardly Lion.
Yvonne De Carlo, a.k.a. Lily Munster—In Tribute
Yvonne De Carlo, a.k.a. Lily Munster—A Small Tribute by Roxanne McDonald
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At 84, our wonderful TV and screen star Yvonne De Carlo passed away of natural causes. |
Yvonne De Carlo was one of the first in my six-degrees circle, having lived at one time right down the road from my grandmother, whom I visited every summer. When I would ride my bike or walk past her home, I would wonder how differently she looked and lived there in that massive farmhouse. What did she eat as opposed to what Lily and her Munster family munched on? What did she wear as opposed to the haute bat pendant and sheer
nightgown- looking dress? Did she read? Did she exercise? Did she watch her own performances?
In December of 2006, I was researching an exotic plant my friend had the tendency to slip onto his wish lists (usually plants I could not access even though I boasted ahead of time I could find with my superior net-navigational skills). When I typed the keywords “bat lily” into the search engine box, the first results were for pictures of Lily Munster.
This only reminded me again of the show, of the many occasions I had thought of Lily/Yvonne, and of the few movies I had identified her in later on. (She was a versatile actress, doing such projects as The Girl from U.N.C.L.E. and It Seemed Like a Good Thing at the Time, and was in or guested on numerous better-known TV shows such as Tales from the Crypt, The Art Linkletter Show, and Fantasy Island.)
I will still remember Yvonne De Carlo, then, not only as the usually unflappable and graceful Munster, but as the one who gave me my first near brush with fandom.
MTV DanceLife—for Reality TV Purists
MTV DanceLife—for Reality TV Purists by Roxanne McDonald
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Despite several existing “talent” shows, Jennifer Lopez’s DanceLife is a refreshing reality TV experience. |
It is a well known give that reality TV is ideal for the voyeuristic. We get to see inside the lives and lifestyles of everyone from the ultra-rich to the trailer park poor. We get to covet what the haves enjoy or identify with the have-nots. We get to step outside ourselves for the period of time we are looking through the 26” peephole….
But with DanceLife, executive produced by Jennifer Lopez, we get an even cleaner peep in on the challenges of those who make dance their life. Because it is unscripted, we get
to witness an even more realistic experience. We get to watch how with such great numbers of competitors, some individuals add a flair to their auditions—one ripping off a wig symbolically at the finish of a tryout; another performing, dancing up to Lopez’s table, and presenting his photo resume.
The premise and purpose of the show is a Lopez creation, for as she says (according to ET Online), “Everything I’ve been choosing these past couple of years has to be stuff that I respond to, that I feel I can contribute something to,” she says. “I started my career as a dancer, and so I know what that life is, but I realize that a lot of people don’t. So that’s why I wanted to do [this series], because I lived it.”
The only thing unappealing, however, is how J Lo will only appear in two of the eight “episodes” of DanceLife. For her arrival is applauded by the contestants and lauded by those of us who have been followers and fans of the dancing, singing, and acting star. And her working her way up the talent and subsequent success ladder is as important as those who compete to follow in her footsteps.
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