Underestimating Aspergers

Underestimating Asperger’s on ANTM by Roxanne McDonald

Word to the unwise: Heather may just out-model you all.

Like any season of “America’s Next Top Model,” this ninth cycle features an underdog–for the ratings or the credit for empowering the same or for whatever other reasons.

And like any abominable challenge—deterioration of

eyesight (retinitis pigmentosa), loss of short-term memory, even a Vargas Nerve disorder—Heather’s Asperger’s Syndrome is misinterpreted, misunderstood, and misjudged (underestimated) by the fellow ANTM contestants.

Chantal camera-talks that Heather is over her head in this competition, deciding that having “no social skills” will be her downfall.

Janet calls Heather “spacey”.

Bianca has decided, back at the loft when Heather leaves something out after she eats, that Heather is “on delay,” whatever that means; and during a fashion-shopping challenge, Jenah announces that Heather has no clue about what is happening and what she should be doing.

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Absolutely Lovin the Geeks

Absolutely Lovin’ the Geeks by Roxanne McDonald

The beauties, or one beauty in particular…, not so much.

At least not the male “beauty” who is not all that great to look at, relatively speaking.

So many of us had been calling out for a line-up of female geeks and male beauties. And so many of us love “Beauty and the Geek” that we faithfully follow each season and were intrigued with and grateful for the twist that we had been crying for, as it were. Ashton Kutcher and producers, kudos!But, guys, could you have at least used a better looking guy beauty? Sam? Ick.

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Survivor Early Alliances and Interesting Approaches

Survivor Early Alliances and Interesting Approaches by Roxanne McDonald

Not only does this season of “Survivor” offer earlier than usual conflicts and clashes but introduces some interesting (odd, but interesting) survival strategies.

Granted, it is pretty clear from the start of every season who is the bossy one, who is the workhorse keeping his/her

mouth shut, and who will likely be the snake in the grass (or trees). But it seems this season on “Survivor”, the in-fighting has started exceptionally early.

Dave is either a source of half the altercations in Zhan Hu with his arrogant, passive-aggressive, and just downright nasty comments or is being unfairly represented by traditional editing. Methinks it is some of both.

Dave nags for his people to get a fire pit built; discounts Peih-Gee’s [albeit stubborn and consistently bossy and obnoxious] disagreements over location logistics.

Dave gives a snide response about wishful thinking to Jaime when she softly as ever suggests they can build the pit, start a fire, and eat something for strength for the next challenge.

Dave then gets into an unnecessary stand-off with Ashley, making his commands as he does but then following up with pejorative and debasing explanations that set Ashley off and acting just as impudent as he.

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Bachelor Rose-getting Strategies

Bachelor Rose-getting Strategies by Roxanne McDonald

The twenty-five women arriving at “The Bachelor” mansion this season have amped up the game moves. As Chris Harrison notes, they will do anything to get their man.

They arrived in limos of five bachelorettes each:

First were Sheena, Internet marketing mogul from Walnut Creek, California; Jenni, Phoenix Suns dancer from Wichita, Kansas; Kim, realtor from Woodbridge, Connecticut;

Sarah, bar manager from O’Fallon, Illinois; and Bettina, realtor from Hermosa Beach, California.
Next were news anchor Jessica, from Lady Lake, Florida; graduate student Morgan, from Tempe, Arizona; accounts rep Rigina, from San Diego, California; publishing sales rep Erin, from Tampa, Florida; and ER nurse Tanni, from St. Louis Park, Minnesota.

Third to arrive were DeAnna, a realtor from Newman, California; Juli, a law student from Chicago, Illinois; McCarten, an account manager from San Diego, California; Susan, a project analyst from St. Charles, Illinois; and Lindsey, a model from Livonia, Michigan.

In the next to last limo came Chicago, Illinois acupuncturist, Kristy; Georgetown, Texas esthetician, Solista; Atlanta, Georgia executive assistant, Estefania; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania RN, Hillary; and Annapolis, Maryland biology teacher, Lori.

And in the last limo were Natalie, a law student from Duncanville, Texas; Mallory, a nanny from Honolulu, Hawaii; Michele, a realtor from South Brunswick, New Jersey; Melissa, an event planner from Westchester, New York; and Jade, a boutique salesperson from Nashville, Tennessee.

The women, as new Bachelor Brad said, are all beautiful. But more interesting were the tricks and techniques of tantalizing in a few short hours the man many of them instantly fell goo goo over.

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Shanghai Survivors Set the Outeverything Tone

Shanghai Survivors Set the Outeverything Tone by Roxanne McDonald

There’s already one who is overdoing it on the bossy front, one overconfident but socially clumsy member, one crying Christian….

Every time I see that car commercial suggesting it can “outeverything”, I think of “Survivor”. This the fifteenth season introduced to us last night the new cast of

characters who have already begun their outeverythinging:
Surf instructor Aaron Reisberger has already established himself as a leader, but a reluctant one who sees his tribe as floundering but who also doesn’t want to invite the using of his back for target practice, either.

Hiking guide Amanda Kimmel has already set a few minds on something other than the game—stripping down to her undies and making more than one viewer comment on nothing more than her appearance. Actually, Amanda has stayed in the background for the most part, keeping her mouth shut, working hard, and only occasionally “socializing”. From what we at home saw, anyway.

Pro wrestler Ashley Massaro has already set herself up for early ousting, somehow coming off as pretentious and presumptuous at the same time—posing as a super athlete, getting sick the first day at camp, reclining still on day two as the others work and stare, and then mouthing off at Tribal Council…as if she had contributed so proudly all along.

Chicken farmer Chicken Morris has already, or had already, started opining more than pounding…on the shelters and whatnot, and alienated himself so early he earned the first elimination.

Waitress Courtney Yates has already defined her role as tribe snot, hating on everything and everyone who is “positive”, which she has mocked, moaned about, and rolled her moping eyes at several times over.

Bartender and former model Dave Cruser (who I hope is not sick, as he already looks like he has been there for weeks) has already defined his role as leader, especially for his championing of the tribe as a whole and his cheering on and cheering up individuals on the edge of despondency… already.

School lunch lady Denise Martin has already stumbled a couple of times, but has stayed pretty quiet, neither boasting or balking, so it will take a few more challenges to determine her place as either underdog or dark horse or fish out of water or Susan Hawk throwback.

Musician Erik Huffman has already, it seems, made himself to be one of the logical ones as well as one of the powerhouses of the group. He doesn’t come off as being the one to speak often or all that loudly, but when he does speak, his mates appear to listen up.

Athlete and youngest-ever Survivor Frosti Zernow has already gotten a little too giddy about his offering himself as the small and fast one, ever-friendly but overconfident in his positive but aggressive participation.

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Top Chef Kinda Bland

Top Chef Kinda Bland—Among Other Things by Roxanne McDonald

And besides being virtually free of that tension we so love to watch, “Top Chef” is also getting whack with inconsistent airing practices.

Unless I am losing my mind along with my ability to keep tight reins on my very full TV-watching schedule, another

show or station gets coo-coo with the changing it up of regularly scheduled episodes.

I’m gonna sound like somebody’s worn out mother here, for a sec, but if I have said it once, I have said it a hundred times: quit fooling with the schedule! Not only do we viewers with ADD get all thrown off, but those of us with pre-set schedules have no time for this nonsense and are equally disheartened when we sit through re-runs and suddenly MISS a new installment.

Okay, so I succumb to that which is/are holiday changes, seasonal changes, promotional/stalling strategies that include running a reunion before the season even ends changes, and save the show in spite of competing, pre-empting programming changes.

But what the…? What can I do, how can I recover, when the new episode is not aired when none of the above are interfering? “Top Chef” does this previouslys thing on Bravo at 3, 4, 5, and 6 p.m. Then it has a new episode at 7 p.m. and again at 10 p.m. on the same night [Wednesdays in California].

Last night, I had to watch “Last Comic Standing” finale, and knowing that would run late, re-scheduled myself to watch the new “Top Chef” episode at ten instead of seven. But at ten when I tuned in to Bravo, I saw them on a plane, Hung not helping, CJ getting slammed for the worst broccoli side dish the judges had ever had in all four seasons, and Brian, once again, getting poor marks for his lobster. Why he insists on sabotaging himself with that lobster choice so often made me realize that, hey, duh, this is last week’s episode! [Well, okay, I caught that fact as soon as Padma showed up at the loft in her PJs….]
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Last Comic Comes Through

Last Comic Comes Through by Roxanne McDonald

After a lackluster season in the opinion of many, “Last Comic Standing” hosts a finale that made most of us utter the words of the Comic Book Guy on “The Simpsons”: best episode ever.

And not just cause John Reep won it, either. Congrats John!

Yeah, there was just too much sand and not enough glass this season. The comics going through early on were unrightfully usurping the spots of much better comics. [Still stinging from the loss of Matt Kirshen, for example.]

The replacement host was, eh, okayyy.

And the challenges were less than original or entertaining, save the one called “Last Jester Standing…,” and that was only hilarious when the contestants joked about their ridiculous costumes.

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A is for ADORable

A is for ADORable by Roxanne McDonald

The previews didn’t do justice to the exceptional “Kid Nation” kids.

All I could think watching the previews for “Kid Nation” was how this was one reality show primed for a litany of

lawsuits at worst and a prime time bust at best. And I hadn’t even bothered to read up on the controversy (over the child labor laws, the opinions that CBS was using 40 kids for entertainment fodder, etc., etc.)—so sure was I that I wouldn’t have “Kid Nation” on my must-see line-up.
But oh how I must retract.

First, I, uh, don’t care for kids so much. As long as they aren’t mine, though, I can try and muster up some appreciation for them being an inevitably to keep the human race going, for how precious a gift they are, how remarkable they can be, etc., etc.—just keep them away from me.

Next, what with the careful foreshadowing of the host saying how “Kid Nation” started/starts as a kind of Lord of the Flies, I was less than eager to occupy a whole Wednesday night hour on spoiled, precocious little savages with bottom line kid-cruel motivations.

But oh, oh, oh, how extraordinary are these little imps, pointing to the likelihood of somewhere out there are just that many times two extraordinary parents.

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The Biggest Loser Trainers

The Biggest Loser Trainers by Roxanne McDonald

For some, tough love works. For others, the kid glove approach is best. But what is so effective about drill sergeant humiliation?

Laura Tucker at Reality Shack wrote up an awesome recap and introduction piece for week one of the new season
and I have decided to forego doing the same in favor of a quick look at the styles of the three trainers.

This came up for me, anyway, when I watched the ever-consistently tough Jillian and the ever-driven but sweeter Bob in comparison to the newer and nastier Kim.
Jillian Michaels

Experience:
17 years martial arts practice; 13 years personal trainer

Comments:
Contestants not used to working out, but now need to be aggressive
After working out in desert jogging with giant logs and kicking huge bags and doing lunges in the sand and all, they will find the air-conditioned gym will be a joke
Her people have gone from defeated to being empowered with “blood in their mouths.”
The opposing red and blue teams are going to be looking at the black team as a “pack of warriors.”

Yeah, Jillian is tough on her team, but she does her job with a more other-directed beneficence, really.

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Oh Happy Day

Oh Happy Day: Dick and Daniele Deserve the Win! Well, Dick Does, Anyway by Roxanne McDonald

That’s what we think—we being not the royal we but the we the friends in this house, we the neighbors in this area….

There were many reasons this typically reclusive writer liked her new neighbor, but when she realized the neighbor was

also a Big Brother fanatic, well, the friendship galvanized. Even better, she, my neighbor agrees with me that Dick and Daniele deserve the win this season.

Actually, both of us agree wholeheartedly that Dick should get it.

I write this on Tuesday afternoon, a few long hours before the Big Brother finale, and after many hours of watching only the live, primetime, what-BB-allows-us-to watch episodes, plus one hour of the spoiler live-cam Showtime2 material [which made me nuts, watching Daniele roll each one of her tee shirts up for minute after minute after minute].

Here’s the logic behind our vote, if we had one:

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Lovin’ the Fall 2007 Reality TV Line-up

Lovin’ the Fall 2007 Reality TV Line-up by Roxanne McDonald

So excited are we who have our shows to look forward to within the next two weeks and beyond.

Now I understand when my grandmother, who worked some three jobs, would halt everything to watch what she called “my shows.”

Sure, they were the soaps, “The Guiding Light,” “As the World Turns,” etc., but her shows became my shows and then “my shows” took on a new meaning, from “The Brady Bunch” and “The Partridge Family” to “All My Children” and “General Hospital” to “Seinfeld” and “Boston Legal” to the reality TV line-up we are so graced by and addicted to.
Yay! New cycles begin, and those of us trying to come up with something to get fixated on, to no avail in the interim of finales and the premiere of long-standing programming, can rest assured our shows will stabilize us once again:
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New Shows that Fill in the Programming Gaps

New Shows that Fill in the Programming Gaps by Roxanne McDonald

It’s that time of year when finales of favorite shows leave us wanting, yearning, begging for the new season line-up to begin and dreading what we will do in the down time.

I have a whiteboard calendar, a two-foot blank four-week board I write in my TV-viewing lineup for each day. A few weeks ago, the board held the names of about seventy shows, the majority of them reality-based.

This week, it is with a tear in the eye that I erased more than I left alone or replaced: “Age of Love,” “On the Lot,” and “Hell’s Kitchen” are long gone from the Mondays. “America’s Got Talent,” “Pirate Master,” and soon, “Big Brother 8″ had/have to be removed from Tuesdays. You get the idea. So what does one do while waiting?
Sure, during the interim, between seasons, we get to catch up with TiVoed shows, watch sports galore [which pre-empt our staple shows such as Seinfeld, argh], or indulge in some repeats on the LMN, Lifetime Movie Network that are ironically about women who are battered, beaten, lied to, challenged, and whacked.

The options are not all that exciting. But the alternatives are less than appealing, as well.

Let’s see. “Kid Nation”. Now that promised to be a lawsuit in the making. “The Two Coreys.” Yeeuh. The Two Snoreys, is more like it. “The Pick-up Artist.” Eh, a well-intended spinoff of the geek-themed shows, but more obnoxious a “mentor” and more humiliating for the participants.

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Front Row Gets Bitched Out by Bret

Front Row Gets Bitched Out by Bret by Roxanne McDonald

And who can blame Bret Michaels for finally having to come down hard on the final four “Rock of Love” girls?

Well, three of the final four, anyway.

They—Heather, Lacey, and Brandi—have gotten a bit out of line. Lacey not only continues to manipulate for God knows what ulterior reason and then gets drunk with the band to the point where she is incoherent and impossibly combative; Brandi also gets so loaded that at dinner

[where she is supposed to be impressing Bret] she can’t even stifle with her napkin the projectile vomit that squirts out the sides [ew]; and Heather just refuses to support anyone or anything other than her own tendentious efforts to convince Bret she is the one.

Jes, however, repeatedly supports the weak, falling, and fallen—holding heads that puke over restaurant bowls, holding up the wickedest of lushes, and holding strong not just to impress Bret but because it is in her nature to do so.

Damned straight she should get [and did get] the one-on-one time this week, as she has the least baggage, has the cutest face, and has the kindest, most forthright demeanor.

The other three are just nasty in many senses of the word:

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Meaty, Beaty, Big and Bouncy

Meaty, Beaty, Big and Bouncy: Who Will the New “Flavor of Love” Girls Be? by Roxanne McDonald

Who will be in the final 21: the playah hatah, the tranny, the stripper [one of them], the lesbian spy, or the good old gal with a flora legium of flesh?

If the only ones to audition are those twenty-five who are featured on flavoroflovecasting.com, then each one’s chances are really good.

Oh, ohhhkayyy, I see how the site is set up. I was looking at just the latest, newest women to apply. There are actual some 172 pages of twenty-five girls per page. What is that? Whoa. 4300.
Shall we look at some of those who hope to try for Flav’s time, air time, or our time? Won’t consider all of them, here, for that would be one helluva long entry, and will forego the Sergeant Beverlys and the Hot Chocolates who make Flav react the way Tommy did to Jaime Fox’s masseuse on “In Living Color…,” so I will note the ones I wager will appear in the premiere episode of “Flavor of Love 3”:

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They’re Ba-a-a-ck

They’re Ba-a-a-ck: Flaa-va-Flav! by Roxanne McDonald

Flava Flav is back for a third try at Flavor of Love success.

And as the new hopefuls audition, the former Flavorettes are there to comment, critique, and caution.

Saaphyri has all one-color hair—beautiful black—and is somewhat more graceful having gone through the rigors of Monique’s Charm School.
Becky is still outspoken and spunky as all get-out, giving advice on what NOT to do: throwing shoes, etc. is a no-no, she warns.

Schatar is less lofty and more jocular, and methinks has amped up the blue eye shadow application.

Goldie is as vibrant and sarcastic as ever, giving some good criticism that is likely scripted but that only Goldie can deliver so innocuously…even the bellicose comments.

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What Percentage of America is Watching Power of 10?

What Percentage of America is Watching Power of 10? by Roxanne McDonald

Drew Carey alone is a big draw for CBS in their efforts to have a top game show. Yep, “The Power of 10” has an interesting appeal…for Americans

For the week of August 20th, 2007, “The Power of 10” was in the number 8 slot in the Nielsen ratings, with 8.7 million viewers and behind, respectively, “America’s Got Talent,” “CSI: Crime Scene Investigation,” “Without a Trace,” “Two and a Half Men,” “Philadelphia vs. Pittsburgh,” “Sixty Minutes,” and “The Singing Bee.”

This week’s questions reflect good old American patriotism, traditional wisdom, and general attitudes [ignoring, of course, the subject-verb agreement and pronoun shifts, some of which I have changed cause it makes me nuts to contribute to the perpetuation of crappy grammar]:

Daniel Montelongo versus Robin Krasney showdown questions

1. What percentage of American men thinks women use PMS as an excuse to be grumpy?
[Daniel locked in 59%; Robin locked in 73%.]

2. What percentage of Americans currently lives in a town or city that has a street named Main Street?
[Daniel locked in 85%; Robin locked in 69%.]

3. What percentage of Americans thinks they are their parents’ favorite child?
[Daniel locked in 46%; Robin locked in 39%.]

4. What percentage of Americans thinks that going to a movie is a better first date than having dinner together?
[Daniel locked in 21%; Robin locked in 33%]

5. What percentage of Americans has been fingerprinted?
[Daniel locked in 61%; Robin locked in 51%.]

Daniel’s questions

6. What percentage of American men would go to a Spice Girls reunion tour concert if they were given free tickets?
[Daniel locked in 4 to 44%.]

7. What percentage of Americans has driven a car knowing they’ve had too much to drink?
[Daniel locked in 28 to 58%.]

8. What percentage of Americans thinks U.S. soldiers should not have to do more than two tours of duty in Iraq?
[Daniel locked in 62 to 82%.]

9. What percentage of Americans thinks the U.S. as a country will still exist in 100 years?
[Daniel locked in 83 to 93%.]
Hayley Heath versus Carolina Korth showdown questions

10. What percentage of Americans has lived in a trailer park?
[Hayley locked in 15%; Carolina locked in 27%.]

11. What percentage of Americans checks themselves out in the mirror more than five times a day?
[Hayley locked in 65%; Carolina locked in 74%.]

12. What percentage of Americans agreed with the quote, “There’s no such thing as a stupid question”?
[Hayley locked in 42%; Carolina locked in 47%.]

13. What percentage of Americans would take a lower-paying job in order to have a less stressful lifestyle?
[Hayley locked in 15%; Carolina locked in 39%.]

Carolina’s questions

14. What percentage of American Women said they’ve cried in front of their boss at work?
[Carolina locked in 30 to 70%.]

15. What percentage of Americans would not move into a neighborhood if they would be the only person of their race living there?
[Carolina locked in 64 to 94%.]

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Smoking, Spitting and Cereal Flinging

Smoking, Spitting and Cereal Flinging by Roxanne McDonald

For AmERICa, it was a close call this week. But Daniele decided not to use the PoV, so our boy is one step closer to [and one step away from] making it to the final four.

And $40k richer, which he deserves, for sure.

I could focus on recapping how Dick was instantly attracted to Janelle tonight; how Dick and Daniele reiterate their

power; on how Daniele emphasizes how Eric could be put up on the block but if so, it’s now or never that they do it.
But instead, I feel like checking out how Eric is doing with his America’s Player tasks. Just cause he’s so damned adorable.

Starting in week two, Eric had to tell a sob story to a houseguest, to reveal his softer side: he successfully made up and told to Kail a story about pitiful high school years.

Two days later, his second task was to get Carol voted out of the house. He was credited with successfully doing so.

Eric’s third task was also in week two, on Sunday, when he was told to try to get Jessica nominated. At this point, the two were not all kissy-kissy, and Eric also successfully completed this task. So while the deal is he will earn $10k for every five tasks completed, let’s say he has thus far earned $6k.

AmERICa’s third-week tasks began on Sunday, when he was to feign sleepwalking and climb into bed with Joe, but he only made it as far as the edge of Joe’s bed, in a kind of sleep-sitting position. He just couldn’t go as far as under the covers…. More fun was when he revealed in video-good-bye to Joe that it was his mandated gig for that one.

Next in the same week was the fairly easy get-Joe-evicted job. Done. Get Jen nominated for eviction. Done.

More fun was trashing Jen’s property, a task that is now in the annals of Big Brother as the Mustard Incident, though some might have preferred a Mustard Shampoo for the Jentile. Also in week four was the mission to get Kail ousted. AmERICa failed that time, but I’m not sure one of the weekly tasks should be to get someone evicted, as that takes most of the power all around, and who has such singular power at this satge in the game—four weeks in?

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Time Enough to Let the Big Brother Rugs Dry

Time Enough to Let the Big Brother Rugs Dry by Roxanne McDonald

Amber is finally put out of our misery…and just in time to dry up all the soppy, tear-sogged stuff to get it all nice for the guest PoV host, Janelle!

Okay, maybe Janelle won’t be physically in the house? Maybe she will just join Julie [aka the Chenbot] from the control room gazebo thingy.

But that will be cool. I have been likening Daniele to Janelle, all along, so maybe there will be an opportunity there to test my supposition.

Okay, on to the festivities over the next best elimination yet this season:

I’ll try to be as kind as the remaining houseguests were in their good-bye messages, but don’t hold me to that.

Don’t mean any ill toward the born again waterworks waif, but omg, could ya ease up on the sobbing as if you are one day clean and sober and going through withdrawals without proper medical/psychological support? It doesn’t and didn’t even make for good TV.

Well, except for those who turned your moments into a drinking game, taking a swig every time you bawled. Man, they sure must have been shnockered!

And let go of the false notions, the pseudo faith, and the hackneyed cliches that are as annoying as the “I’m not going to cry” contradicting wails.

Amber tells us in the DR that Eric is only in this for himself. Uh…, yuh. I’m thinking that is most likely the case for every single one of you? I mean, last I checked back, no Big Brother player was there to help a rival win….

Sigh.

And, guess what? Unlike Eric, who was dignified enough to stifle the mocking laughter at your inane suggestion that only “good” people should win, we at home were whoopin it up. There are so many levels of wrong to that, so many fallacious elements to that bizarre logic, I am going to pass on explaining.

And Amber can go right on insisting on her own personal eviction theory—that she was just so damned threatening a player. Then again, she might click on the TV or check out the Big Brother chatter online and consider that the most powerful players are still there, and that the biggest threats have traditionally not been ousted all that early.

[Yes, several will insist otherwise, but I do see Jess, Daniel, Dick, Jessica, and Eric as the strongest, the wiliest, the more strategic—and not just because they are still in the House.]

But superlatives and likely battonage aside, a Big Brother-to-Amber dictionary would not hurt, even though she is now long gone. [Hey, I think I might just create a Big Brother dictionary in general: hmmm. Think I could get much more than “backdooring” and “under the bus” entered to make for a whole little book?]
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Now How Will Johnny Get His?

Now How Will Johnny Get His? by Roxanne McDonald

Not that we care how Johnny V, Scott Baio’s buddy, will make out…. Actually, it’s yay for Scott and his superlative growth toward being able to commit.

Scott couldn’t commit and Johnny V. should have been committed—turning on the nice Erin Moran [who was as shocked as we when he took Scott away from an autograph signing event and then turned and told her she was being pissy], slamming the well-intended Doc Ali for taking his boy

away [and what restraint that woman showed as she refrained from telling him to get a life or from just smacking him silly], and just being an all-around icky character.

For instance, getting told to take a hike for a bit so Scott could become a more functional partner for a woman, Johnny resisted, insulted, threatened, and cajoled.

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