Nip/Tuck Celebrities Great and Greater

Nip/Tuck Celebrities Great and Greater by Roxanne McDonald

It’s a good day for vidiots when the biggest news (good or bad) is who will be guest-starring on “Nip/Tuck”.

We already get sucked into “Nip/Tuck” for several aesthetic and other reasons—including the stunning sets, the succulent central characters (and the actors who portray them), the supremely relevant soundtrack, and the blade-runner dialogue and story

development. So it is not necessary but certainly a plus to have featured celebrities appear as multidimensional (or intentionally rendered uni-dimensional) characters who come to Troy/McNamara for cosmetic reconstruction.
Rosie O’Donnell made her second season’s appearance on Nip Tuck as the nouveau riche Dawn (or, “Dwan”) who this time went hang gliding and was attacked by a fully matured eagle in mid air soar. Ever the dismissive and sexist one, Christian stresses their procedure to repair her mangled face will include sewing her big mouth shut.

Jacqueline Bissett, the epitome of grace and class, made several visits to the show last year as the malevolent organ poacher who did none of the actual dirty work herself but commandeered the thefts by blackmail and coercion and contributed to the deliciously depraved closing episodes of the season.

Oliver Platt pleased many “Nip/Tuck” veteran viewers (and “Huff” lamenters) when he joined the show with performances only Platt could make into a character both smarmy and loveable at once.

And several seasoned stars have made their way to the OR doors for their characters’ vain purposes, greedy intentions, or salacious needfulness or desperation or depravity. While, for instance, while Peter Dinklage, Portia de Rossi, Andrew Leeds, Alanis Morissette, Paula Marshall, Vanessa Redgrave (playing Julia’s mother, appropriately), and Brooke Shields, among many others, have entered as marginal characters, they have exited as much more substantial and substantive additions to the “Nip/Tuck” script.

(read more…)

Still Politicking, Still Mimicking Kid Nation

Still Politicking, Still Mimicking Kid Nation by Roxanne McDonald

Or as one observer noted, still feeding the Marxist, capitalist machine…just like the big boys and girls.

My Dad always tells me that a man is as good as his word…on a handshake…; I thought maybe that’s get across to them. But you know, we’ll have to see if it does or not. ~Michael, attempting negotiations with the obstinate older boy Town Council

First Adult Experience of the Day

Red, Yellow, Blue, and Green hold their weekly primaries, conduct their platforms, and vote their sweet little hearts out:

DK replaces a happy-to-step-down Guylan on Red.

Michael displaces a displeased Laurel on Green.

Blaine takes over for Zach on Yellow, as Zach whispers to his replacement how Town Council job sucks.

Greg takes the position away from Andrew on Blue, much to many kids’ surprise.

Next Adult Lesson of the Day

Laurel extends her expression of disdain over being unseated on the Town Council, saying how she has no say in the decisions, has no say about the reward choices, has no say in anything.

(read more…)

Spit, Sweat, and Swoon on Runway

Spit, Sweat, and Swoon on Runway by Roxanne McDonald

If the second installment is any indication of what “Project Runway” 4 will offer avid fans, then holy Sarah Jessica Parker, people!

What an engaging and delightful episode was episode 2:

Not so thrilling was the first round of model matching, when one—Wendy—had to be ousted, but once the first challenge of the night began, the drama ensued.

We viewers were squealing as loudly as Chris was crying devotedly (or as passionately as does Ricky seem to cry each week): A surprise fashion icon was promised and then introduced, and in walked the New York style fashionista trend setter Sarah Jessica Parker, to explain the next challenge. Besides your being able to just see the wheels of Parson participants high-speed cranking over the flouncy dresses and stylish and matching hats and gloves, you got to hear Carmen gush about how we’re-not-worthy lucky they were to have THE Sarah Jessica Parker and hear Chris express, weepingly, how his first experiences watching “Sex in the City” compelled his future of moving to New York and designing fashion like Carrie wears.
With the guidelines—a mere $15 to build a Bitten design—and the excited ambience (for all but either clueless or too-snooty-to-prostrate-himself Christian), the designers delve into thirty-minute designing, quick, unnerving pitches to the couture queen, and teamwork.

(read more…)

Rock of Love Redux

Rock of Love Redux by Roxanne McDonald

Rumor has it that “Rock of Love” 2 is in the works, and speculations abound about who will be the guest host of honor.

Whether it was a failure in hooking up Bret Michaels with a love (Jes Rickleff notified Michaels she was—and had been all along–taking up with a designer in Chicago) or whether it just made for filler entertainment that will introduce subsequent filler

entertainment (rumors have it there will be some sort of spin-off with Heather Chadwell and/or a new reality TV show featuring the same as well as Brandi C. and Kristia)—“Rock of Love” will return. In some permutated form, maybe, but also in sequel.
As if to thumb their teeth at the critics calling “Rock of Love” a train wreck of a show (despite its popularity), several of the women vying for the rocker chick girlfriend title have taken advantage of their 15 horrifying minutes of fame:

Rodeo has barbecue sauce and clothing line deals, all promoted by the one and only in the Bret cowboy hat castoff, and has done some slimming drug ads…I think.

Lacey has unflinchingly promoted her band by way of the show and after-show songs she has written.

One of the Brandis, it seems, is doing something in video, but not the kind we will see any time soon on Vh1 or any other prime time GP-rated network.

Jes, while low-key and insisting her life is back to normal, etc., what with work and the already-existing bf, also capitalizes on her few on-air weeks with a clothing line and a new jewelry line she is putting together.

(read more…)

No More Simple in Shanghai

No More Simple in Shanghai: ANTM 10 Recap by Roxanne McDonald

Bianca, Chantal, Heather, Jenah, Lisa, and Saleisha head for Shanghai, China, where they struggle with the same challenges. What’s that saying? Everywhere I go, there I am?

It’s futuristic, like in “The Jetsons,” Chantal suggests. It’s like no other city except maybe Las Vegas, says Heather. It’s the new temporary home (in a 63rd-floor penthouse in the Shima Hotel) of the remaining six “America’s Next Top Model” contestants and the venue

for the next installment of Girls Gone Mental. Heather’s left out of the bed choosing; and after a brief ganging-up on Heather, Bianca makes concessions for her disability and offers to share a bed so Heather can have one.
Tyra mail reflects the in-fighting, or alludes to it, explaining the girls will be doing some kind of kick-ass modeling. Louis Liu does a martial arts skit and then introduces himself as their instructor for the day: positions, which he identifies in Chinese, include the Snapping Kick, and several numbered poses…hint-hint.

Their test is two at a time suspended on wires in mid-air, ala Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Jenah and Chantal go first in a battle of the bouncing blondes. Next go Lisa and Saleisha, swinging into positions two and seven. And Bianca and Heather go up, despite Bianca’s repeating to us how she wants to go shopping and not hang off buildings…, because in truth, she is terrified of heights.

For all of Heather’s “disability”, she is the one who is savvy about the notion of doing the hard challenges to be a model and is the one supportive of Bianca for a change. Bianca can’t handle it, however, and once she insists she be brought down, she is disqualified. Heather is loving it up there, and as she gets a rush from doing the positions, gets kudos from the others and the first place prize to go shopping. She chooses Chantal knowing Bianca really wanted it, because she says this will be a little “tough love.”

The first photo shoot requires the six bring their individual personalities: uh-oh, another requisite is memorizing lines for Cover Girl advertising. We know that no matter how awesome Heather looks and comes off in print, her weakness is in delivery of any verbal text.

Saleisha looks way too made up, which makes her look old. She does well, save for a mispronunciation here and there. Bianca is peppy and all smiles (so adorable), and she is “so believable” says Jeffrey Chiu, the director of photography. Heather is stilted and stuttering, and Chiu, tries to get her to let it flow. Jay is so understanding, and walks her through by feeding her one line at a time. That still comes off rough.

Jenah does over thirteen takes, and Chantal, who looks hyper-animated, like a Howdy Doody doll, still pulls off the girl next door essence Jay likes. Lisa looks beautiful but as if she is trying to stifle some gas. Jay is also supper accommodating, reminding her they can start over as much as they have to. But she is still flogging herself after the shoot, and says that she is the only one who has to sweat the challenges and shoots. Maybe she didn’t see Heather struggle?

(read more…)

Seeing Their Way to the Psychic Semi-finals

Seeing Their Way to the Psychic Semi-finals by Roxanne McDonald

“America’s Psychic Challenge” has Jeff, Michelle, MW, and Joseph competing for the 100-grand finals.

Find the Little Boy Crying Wolf

Kid simulates getting lost in the desert. The psychics have thirty minutes.

Joseph, who has never done this before but knew he was going to be in a desert area today, holds the boy’s tee shirt, feels for energy, walks in opposite direction for a couple of steps, moves in his direction and announces he can hear the boy giggling (which he is doing), and finds him in 4:12.

Michelle says he’s a good little hider, picks up two markers, runs in the opposite direction (despite “her guys” telling her to go down and right near a rock). She gets chills/gets goosebumps, can’t find him, but feels she is close as she walks right past his hiding place after stopping there and moving on and giving up.

Jeff picks up really bright energy from Austin’s shirt, and, he says, just follows it. He literally runs to the kid in 1:22, so fast he leaves the investigator in the dust.

MW discusses her plan to go in a semi-circle, gets a bead on the direction, feels she is within eight to ten yards, is way off, does some geneal surveying for another twenty-something minutes, and though she is really close, walks away.

(read more…)

Biggest Loser Losses and Special Gains

Biggest Loser Losses and Special Gains by Roxanne McDonald

Teasers including “The Biggest Loser” contestants’ original, first-week photos head up a blockbuster episode.

Great inspiration two days before Thanksgiving comes by way of “The Biggest Loser,” which starts this week with before pictures and indual retrospectives—how they looked, felt, and felt about how they looked.

That’s always a powerful surprise.

Another surprise is how from week to week (real time weeks for us, months for them?) the players change so dramatically for the better. Just turning on the TV on Tuesday nights and tuning to TBL, I have to do a double take and make sure I am not watching an old episode from an old season I don’t recall…, that’s how dramatic the positive changes are:

Bill, whose brother is also a loser (having lost almost 100 pounds), has lost 100 pounds. Make that 106 pounds.

Brian, the only one left on the Red Team, has lost 70 pounds. Make that 76 pounds.

Hollie, who doesn’t get a sub-caption for a while into the show (maybe because last week she had a zero-pound weight loss?), has lost 43 pounds. Make that 51 pounds.

Isabeau, the villain of the day (for going along with the idea of voting off Amy), has lost 57 pounds. Make that 64 pounds.

Julie, who is the least televised for some reason, has lost 38 pounds. Make that 42 pounds.

Kae has lost over 30% of her body weight and 66 pounds and has won a $5,000 shopping bonanza from the plugging sponsor of the week, Prevention Magazine. Make that 69 pounds and her pace on the show.

Neil, ever the humble one, has lost 110 pounds. Make that 118 pounds total (the size of his girlfriend).

Nicole, who is “channels her inner Tyra” in front of the camera, has lost 57 pounds. Make that 61 pounds.

(read more…)

Psychic Challenge: Finding and Diagnosing

Psychic Challenge: Finding and Diagnosing by Roxanne McDonald

In a weird “Fear Factor” plus holistic medicinal approach, “America’s Psychic Challenge” quarter-finals makes for an intriguing episode.

Of course it helps that the most interesting of characters make up the role call for the week. Lynn is quasi-kooky; Zenobia is uncannily accurate; Sylvana brings a cockiness

unparalleled by proven psychics; and Jackie smack-talks and nails almost every challenge or detail.
They all get emotionally altered, save Jackie, who just bluntly snaps she doesn’t, for example, give out hugs.

First Challenge of the Day: Who’s Just Straight-up Afraid?

Four tent-like constructions each house a person—three of whom are relaxed and one of whom is n a state of fear: in #1 is a person getting a massage; in #2 is a woman painting her nails; in #3 is a guy painting on canvas; and in #4 is the woman with her hands inserted through a transparent plastic bin full of giant cockroaches.

Lynne chooses #4.
Sylvana feels it is either #2 or #3 and goes for #2.
Zenobia feels “something creepy crawly, like spiders or something,” she says, but goes to door #1.
And Jackie chooses #4. (read more…)

Project Runway 4 Premiere Prime Cut

Project Runway 4 Premiere Prime Cut by Roxanne McDonald

Project Runway 4 Competing DesignersTop Back, Left to Right: Jillian, Carmen, Marion, Simone, Elisa, Jack, Chris, Steven, Rami, and Kit.Front and Hunkering, Left to Right: Kathleen, Ricky, Christian, Victorya, and Kevin.

Oooh is “Project Runway” gonna be fuuun, she says, rubbing her hands together in sweet anticipation, rolling tape, and hearing and seeing the familiar, long-awaited sights and sounds: “Alrighty, then.” “One of you will be the winner; the other will be OUT.” “Make it work.”

The tough thing is watching the teaser re-runs of the previous season (season 3), and thinking how you are going to miss sedulous Michael, eccentric Vincent, quirky Kayne, freaky deaky Angela, or the awesome winner—Jeffrey Sebilia! Aww.

But then season 4’s premiere episode changes your mind, settles all your hesitations:

Heidi Klum is just as beautiful and brusque; Tim Gunn is even more dignified and debonair; and from snappy to snooty to downright silly are the returning judges.

But of course what makes the show are the “central characters,” the contestants—clueless, cutting edge [er, yeah, weeeak pun], classic, camp, and, well, on the verge of coo coo:

Elisa snatches up some airy fabric, throws to the ground, and knees it—to grind it into the grass and hence “feed” the material natural color/characteristic.

[Tim has pegged her aesthetic as one which struggles with being between “fashion and wearable art.” Her first piece was gorgeous, and yet not functional as a runway design.]

Christian, in a haircut that can’t decide if it wants to be Victoria Beckham look-alike (on one side) or a Beatle who hasn’t had a trim since, well, the Beatles were on tour, decides Elisa is the weird one of the group.

[Tim at one point has already called him a “fashion prodigy,” though, so just ignore his pre-emptive cattiness for now.]

Kit, aka Kit Pistol, does edgy. She dresses edgy. She speaks to all of the above. But for some reason, I don’t even remember her 1st runway piece—never mind one that was abyss-teetering or ground-breaking.

[Tim, however, points Kit Pistol out as not only experienced but a risk-taker. So okay, maybe she will go to greater extremes as the weeks wear on.]

Kevin seems like an amiable, mind-his-own-business-until-irritated type. He of course got less air time than the kookier types, but he also brought on one of the coolest designs.

[Tim has determined Kevin to be serious, “too serious,” even, so let’s hope that doesn’t translate to tendentious tantrum type.]

Jillian seems serious, too, in a keep-to-herself so she can create stunning, high-end couture that is really expertly executed. [Did you SEE that perfect red dress?] I always appreciate the quiet, darker types, despite how my mom admonishes that “still water runs deep”—in a BAD way—whatever that means.

[Tim confirms Jillian has a “girly, flirtatious” aesthetic and is “her own muse”…ala Diane von Furstenberg and Betsey Johnson.]

Simone is/was [first one sent packing her knives—oh, no, wait; that’s another Bravo wonder] attempting to marry two eras or times, using vintage colors and vintage-looking fabrics [ though what the hell was up with that “jacket” without sleeves?] with modern colors and fabrics. A bit too ambitious, Simone sent her design onto the runway unfinished, sewn onto the model, and unfortunately lacking to the point of being offensive to the judges.

[Tim had said of her that her textile aptitude was excellent, right on. Shame she didn’t have or account for time to pull it all off.]

Marion, for some reason, goes against the bias for me [clothing designers and seamstresses at home will appreciate that metaphor]—but not in a good, color-outside-the-lines, iconoclastic way. A floral shop owner who now does clothing design in his shop (complete with roses and big fat flowers on a number of the pieces, of course), Marion seems to have something just a little off about him. I have to see him more to figure out just what.

[Tim says, and okay, I appreciate the implication, “Designers design.” So it doesn’t matter what or where—flower shop to flower suits….]

(read more…)

The Fat Bastard is at it Again

The Fat Bastard is at it Again by Roxanne McDonald

Denny Crane offends yet another offends yet another person, this time an associate who is racking up the dollars every time he speaks.

What is it about a fat ass who calls another person fat when he is fat (if not fatter) himself?

Not much, usually. But Denny Crane is so indefinably endearing that it somehow works for him to be bigoted, misogynistic, self-involved and self-aggrandizing.

Well, it works for him as a character (on Boston Legal), though I doubt he would last long as a socially appropriate, socially accepted human in this pc world of ours.Crane typically offends by hitting on women with sexual entendres…, no, straight-up sexual suggestions and comments. If the recipient of his brash and crass come-on is in any way afflicted, Crane has no problem tossing some pointed slurs in the same direction and at the same time. (read more…)