2008 TV
2008 TV by Roxanne McDonald
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God and Goddess willing the writers’ strike can be over and new seasons, new shows, and new episodes will bring back the joy |
Pretty pitiful state of affairs when one would rather go outside and shovel like Sisyphus rather than put up with the ersatz crap taking over while the writers fight for their much deserved compensation and rights.
But somewhat promising is the winter TV lineup, complete with spinoffs, spoofs, and series specials.NOTE: Actually, this list is incomplete, being one comprised of most of my favorites [or favorites-to-poke-fun-at]. For a more unbiased schedule, see The Futon Critic.
JANUARY
Tuesday, January 1
“The Biggest Loser” Season 5 NBC
“Real Housewives of Orange County” Season 3 Bravo TV
Wednesday, January 2
“Wife Swap” Season 4 ABC
Thursday, January 3
“Celebrity Apprentice” [Season 7] NBC
Friday, January 4
“How to Look Good Naked” NEW Lifetime Television
“Matched in Manhattan” NEW Lifetime Television
Monday, January 7
“Paranormal State” NEW [this winter] A&E
“Dance War: Bruno vs. Carrie Ann” NEW/SHORT [spinoff of “Dancing with the Stars”]
Tuesday, January 8
“Boston Legal” Season 4 [continues] ABC
“Parking Wars” NEW A&E
Wednesday, January 9
“Ghost Hunters International” [offshoot of “Ghost Hunters”] SCIFI
Thursday, January 10
“Make Me a Supermodel” NEW Bravo TV
Sunday, January 13
“I Love New York 2” Reunion Special Vh1
“Scott Baio is 46…and Pregnant” Season 2 [after “Scott Baio is 45 and Single”] Vh1
New Year Runway Retrospective
New Year Runway Retrospective by Roxanne McDonald
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To bring in the new year with “Project Runway,” we revisit the richest of challenges, the greatest of design moments, the finest of lines. |
Hell, one could have a great piece just by reviewing all of the cheeky, fuzzy, funny, smart-ass comments.
Anyway.
It’s refreshing to watch a program championing creativity that is actually creative in its approach to challenges for the contestants. Some of the individual ones [and some highlights] appear below, though not all inclusive, due to this writer’s missing some episodes and having other things to do (believe it or not) besides, for Hell sake….
SEASON 1
Best Line: “Don’t sell your soul to go anywhere because you may need it someday.” Kara Saun
“Design for the Future” Imagine design for the year 2055, Tim Gunn advises: “Will it be for “The Jetsons” or Blade Runner?”
“Design for the Red Carpet” Create a dress for Nancy O’Dell, then host of “Access Hollywood.” Watch out for sequins and evening gowns, kids. Oh, and the contestants get an invitation to Michael Kors studio, which according to them rocks.
SEASON 2
Best Line[s]: any Santino imitation of Tim Gunn: “Designers, look out for Andrae. He’s our little lamb;” Santino saying, “If Van Gogh had had my personality, he wouldn’t have had to cut off his ear;” Tim Gunn’s comment about Nick’s poofy design: “She’s like an elongated marshmallow.”
“All Dolled Up” A surprise design challenge has contestants fighting to avoid elimination by creating a look for Barbie…the doll.
“Window Shopping” Design for a “world-renowned” clothing company: Banana Republic.
American Idol on the Down-Low
American Idol on the Down-Low by Roxanne McDonald
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Not a lot of hype for the most popular (most-watched, most-lucrative) talent show…, but then again, doesn’t really need it. |
There may be, for those who live through the true definitions of winter, little to be thrilled about. (Shoveling, surviving the slip and slide sure aren’t it.) But when the first of
January comes around again, many of us have tiny ray of hope shining through onto our simple (or dreary) lives: for we get American Idol teasers and previews and clips that promise another season of talent and beauty and wit.
This season, the first television commercial I saw aired on December 23, on (of course) CBS, during the fifth installment of “The Amazing Race” (another show I have gripes about—as it advertises a time that is actually taken by “60 Minutes,” so you can’t TiVo or DVR it unless you include the hour following–but I digress back to Idol).
Too, it’s nice to not be led on for months, or forced to future-trip (the way we have to for Xmas, which is on the store shelves and piped through the looped muzak machine as early as September and October), nice not to be burdened or teased.
But it is also fun to get what you can allow yourself to be fooled into believing are exclusive leaks.
(read more…)
Super Survivor 16 and Many Returns
Super Survivor 16 and Many Returns by Roxanne McDonald
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TBA is the return date of “Survivor”, which will be the 16th installment but which will return to Palau and will also see the return of ten former “Survivor” players plus the first time participation of “Survivor” superfans. |
Just when you were thinkin’ “Survivor” has pulled all the stops it can and has done all the twists it can muster, a new hybrid of the award-winning reality show is put into the making: “Survivor: Micronesia.”
Working on the same general location as 2004’s “Survivor: Palau,” “Survivor: Micronesia” (air date which will be announced on Thursday, February 7th) will offer the 16th installment of the most-watched Thursday-night programming, but with greater tweaks than ever before (…so the hype goes):
Subtiled “Fans vs. Favorites,” “Survivor” 16 will face off returning players (a.k.a. all-stars, but more, fan favorites from the past seasons) in the tribe confirmed as being Orulok with “die-hard” fans of the show in tribe Angaur (the name taken from one of Palau’s most populated islands, which I dig as a great play on “populace/popularity,” don’t you?)
According to the leak (over at Cold Leftovers), the following fan favorites will play the fans who voted for them:
They Shoot Matchmakers, Don’t They?
They Shoot Matchmakers, Don’t They? by Roxanne McDonald
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Will “Millionaire Matchmaker” educate viewers on the ancient matchmaking traditions, become another show for bragging rights for BRAVO, or go the way of other short-lived solo matchmaker programs? |
Like the entertaining “Confessions of a Matchmaker” (on A&E). Patti Novak, brutally
honest, just effervescent enough to make for decent camera time, didn’t last but a minute. [The official website gives proof of that, with its episode guide contents, for example, consisting of “Season 1”: episode 8, episode 13, and, well, that’s it.]
Patti also-with-an-‘i’ Stanger, in a teaser preview of “Millionaire Matchmaker,” presents a similar no-nonsense approach used for her agency that only caters to millionaires…, male millionaires. Stanger plays up the grooming of the eligibles to prepare them for meeting their lifemates, plays down the biological imperative to have sex on the first date, and plays to an audience of A&E viewers who are told she has a long history of matchmaking in her family.
In other words, the whole reality show (or “docu-drama” as it is dubbed) is inexpensive advertising for the founder of the elite L.A.-based service.
BRAVO’s website describes the fledgling show as one which will “follow Stanger and her dogged staff as they give their big-bucks clients complete transformations with the help of personal shoppers, interior designers, date coaches, and therapists” and wherein each episode will feature two wealthy men who are “set up on dates with potentially compatible women, who are hand-picked by Stanger based upon their beauty and intelligence.” Moreover, “Millionaire Matchmaker” [unlike “Confessions…”] will also track “the resolute Stanger as she deals with the challenges of running a small business with demanding millionaire clients, all while trying to keep her own personal life on track.”
Celebrity Apprentices to Give Some Back
Celebrity Apprentices to Give Some Back by Roxanne McDonald
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If they can settle on a premiere date, and if they can keep from killin’ each other with coo-coo, “Celebrity Apprentice” should be a hoot as well as a worthwhile endeavor to give something back to a universe that has given these celebs so much. |
In a “Surreal Life” meets “My Big Fat Stupid Boss” kind of charity coup, fourteen exceptional (or exceptionally infamous) business professionals in their own right, aside
from their talented reputations, will go for the challenges that have for five years (or six seasons, actually) had a specialized emphasis on succeeding with the nuances of entrepreneurship.
The rock legend with the nine-inch member (tongue, that is) will compete with a cosmetic makeover queen; the honey of television’s “Taxi”, a beauty turned health guru, will go head to head with an Ultimate Fighting Champ; a celebreality whore will battle wits with the most infamous of former “Apprentice” cheats.
A motley crew that would otherwise only appear on a list of who-would-you-want-to-inhabit-a-new-island or at an eclectic gathering like the Academy Awards, the group will substitute for “real” (non-celebrity) men and women such as former winners Sean, Randall, Kendra, Kelly, and Bill, and will participate in “business-driven” tasks that will ultimately “raise money and awareness for their respective causes.”
Tip Your Hats to the Hottest and Most Helpless
Tip Your Hats to the Hottest and Most Helpless of “Survivor: China” by Roxanne McDonald
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Don’t we love that the most deserving got the popularity prize…, and do we care that the poorest and yet the next most deserving weaseled 50k out of Mark Burnett? |
Yes, I am fussing after the fact (having just done my own personal version of “Survivor”: having finally re-settled after a 3,000 mile move of thirty years’ worth of living away from
home and having been away from my TV and TiVo to set up, get dentistry work done, and learn to shovel storms of snow again). But I have to add my illustrious opinions regarding two events, if you will—1) James Clement getting the 100k popularity prize and 2) Denise Martin getting the pity prize…a donation of 50k from Mark Burnett himself.
Okay, so first, James. Ohhhh, yeahhh. He was THE HOTTEST “Survivor” contestant ever. What a delight it was to watch even physical competitions that may have been getting stale for “Survivor” fanatics (if that’s possible). Even my sister, an artist who works twenty hours a day and has NO interest in television (which she doesn’t own and requests I keep my set out of seeing and hearing distance), happened to pop in to ask me something and catching a glimpse of that ebony demi-god issued an “oomph, baby, is he gorgeous).
Anyway, not that James should win big bucks for being a babe…, but should definitely win the popularity vote for being unassuming, gentle in his approach (no cheating, back-stabbing, or poor-me-ing, as Peih-Gee so endlessly bullshitted us with), and tricked into losing.
Sure, Todd, et.al. and their scheming was a clever and well-done coup and all, but oh how we Jamesians wanted someone wholesome and deserving to take that title in the end…, if only to break the cycle of reputation of such shows glorifying not out-wit, outlast, outplay but out-connive, out-lie, out-cheat. Of all of the players, James could do with a financial boost.
That is, he was most needful besides Denise. She said it in the final episode before the finale, how the cutesy or the cool would get extended gigs modeling, acting, etc., but she would be going back to her seven-dollar-an-hour job as a lunch lady if she didn’t place in the final three/didn’t win.
The Year in Project Runway Fashion
The Year in Project Runway Fashion–Thus Far by Roxanne McDonald
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The approach of the new year always makes for good retrospective—looking at who did what, who had what done to them, and how they all came to do…. |
As in what challenges turned “Project Runway” season 4 designers in and out:
EPISODE ONE
“Sew us What You’ve Got,” a.k.a. Make it Work with the Worst(ed) :
A literal race on foot to a booth of fabulous fabrics and faux furs—to express their
personal silouettes–yields a last to pick (but sour grapes happy) Chris, a groovy Elisa who spits on fabric to mark it and imbue spirit into it, and a first-to-be-auf’d Simone LeBlanc.
EPISODE TWO
“I Started Crying,” a.k.a. I Started Crying and Never Stopped:
Marion Lee and Steven Rosengard’s team design for Sarah Jessica Parker’s challenge was so complex and left so little time to perfect before runway that it rendered Marion right out of the competition. This made Ricky cry. Okay, this isn’t why Ricky was crying—again—and will cry—again and again. Who knows why Ricky is crying this time? But he has that right, as an artiste. So back off.
EPISODE THREE
“Fashion Giant,” a.k.a. Oh. My. Gawd. Another Celebrity to Impress, and This One Has a Penis:
While the presence of Tiki Barber, Today Show correspondent and former “legendary” running back for the NY Giants, may not have wowed too many of the designers, the chance to work with hunky, delicioso, drool-inducing (for everyone ‘cept Rami and Elisa) male models did.
And this episode in particular challenged this viewer (whose only claim to design knowledge is in a history of having a mother who sewed all her and her sibling’s clothes, but who, nonetheless, knows what she likes). This viewer asked—okay I…, I asked—what was up with overlooking some of the sharpest designs. My sister also happened to come in and get her first “Project Runway” experience (being a bright girl who doesn’t watch television and who instead does her own brilliant art twenty hours a day) and watching the runway agreed with me on the coolest of designs: the sleek dark (which Barber said he liked when introducing the challenge) casual and sexy designs like the jacket with the Nehru collar and tailored backside and fitted slacks. We didn’t question, however, poor Carmen’s bungled mess of what Tiki’s wife called a Members Only throwback and what was bunched and puckering at the zipper and screwed up at the pant waist and was really distinguished by the absence of any shirt at all (a folded material ascot-style instead).
Who Will Be Crowned? Who Cares?
Who Will Be Crowned? Who Cares? by Roxanne McDonald
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Living up to their “Crowned” names not going to be a problem for the contestants. Now if we can only remember them. |
I was out doing errands and trusting my DVR to take over the viewing (and recording)
first. When I arrived back at home, I did so mid-show. And boy howdy was I more than surprised—not because the show did the opposite of letting me down as I anticipated it would but because the drama was so trumped up I had to check with the INFO button to make sure I wasn’t watching a parody.
The first installment of “Crowned: The Mother of All Beauty Pageants” was in the throes of the first de-sashing. One set of contestants was being told it was time…. As they emoted more than necessary over that, another judge said it was time for the de-sashing of…opponents. Wayull, Lawd almightee, they went right into paroxysms of apoplexy, all histrionic, sobbing, gooping, fake-resisting the task of kicking competitors to the curb as the hyperbolic soap opera meets real opera music stretched on and on in the background.
Now, who went home first? Who has so brazenly, ashamedly lost the right to the gilded and glitzy symbol of superbeautyteam?
Uhhh. Ooops. Didn’t bother noting that. I think Blonde Bombs got rid of clearly-too-intellectual for a superficial show—yeah, the Reigning A’s.
Here are the newly fabricated team names, by the way, which made up the first challenge of making a good first impression…which, if ya ask me, NONE of them did.
Is Big Brother 9 really coming to CBS in February 2008
Is Big Brother 9 really coming to CBS in February 2008 by Mike Liebner
Could it be true that an all new Big Brother 9 will coming to us in February of 2008?
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Yes! It’s true! An all new Big Brother is going to hit the screen and drop it’s reality tv magic on us in the series first non-Summer run.
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I was watching the season finale of Survivor China last night and CBS dropped a commercial for the new season of Big Brother 9.
I almost dropped to the floor when they said coming in February 2008! Yipes! That’s big news!
After doing a little online investigating… sure enough CBS has released the details in a press release about an all new Big Brother:
“The First Ever Winter Edition of “Big Brother” Begins Tuesday, Feb 12, 9:00 PM with Wednesday and Sunday Broadcasts at 8:00 PM… The first ever winter edition of BIG BROTHER premieres Tuesday, Feb. 12 (9:00-10:00 PM, ET/PT) with additional broadcasts on Wednesdays (8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT) beginning Feb. 13 and Sundays (8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT) beginning Feb. 17. (read more…)
Paranormal State Too Close to Normal for Comfort?
Paranormal State Too Close to Normal for Comfort? by Roxanne McDonald
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Ambivalence towards and paranoia about “Paranormal State” does not mean they are not out to “get” us…. |
Ambivalence towards and paranoia about “Paranormal State” does not mean they are not out to get us….
I can’t decide if I am delightfully creeped out by “Paranormal State” or am justifiably concerned and therefore bristling for a reason other than the show and its theme making for really interesting entertainment.
In one respect, the Primer tones (voiceovers in that ancestral yet futuristic speaking through a 20’s mic and from the past and future at the same time) and Blair Witch Project dubiousness (is it real? fine line) make for a fairly fresh reality TV show appearance (despite suggesting derivation).
In another respect, the exaggerated use of men of the cloth (to come in, Exorcist style, and perform rites of exorcism and blessing) and the evocation of God (right on the heels of the evocation of the malevolent spirit) suggest some kind of perverse throwback to times of hysterical Puritanism and hyperbolic dependence on GOD versus the big bad DEVIL.
Intertextuality—Or is that Intersexuality?
Intertextuality—Or is that Intersexuality? by Roxanne McDonald
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The “star” of “I Love New York” makes a cameo appearance on “Nip/Tuck”. |
You might think it was a move of mammoth proportions. You’d expect armchair critics the nation over would be chafing about how low Ryan White has stooped. But you might also think the use of reality TV’s biggest celebrity—or biggest mouth—Tiffany Pollard was a
brilliant tongue-in-cheek effort to boost the drama “Nip/Tuck” even more (as if boosting “Nip/Tuck” is necessary).
In the best of post-modern coups, in the midst of a writers’ strike that has had viewers convinced no good TV would come out of Hollywood, Ryan White and his team have reassured us there is a future for entertainment in general and good entertainment in particular.
Giving nods to the Jerry Springer popularity of the Vh1 hit “I Love New York,” Murphy brought Tiffany Pollard (whom he said, in production, he was just gonna have to take away and marry: “”I think she should marry me and just leave the reality show business,” chuckle, chuckle) onto “Nip/Tuck” three weeks into the edgy drama’s new season which is spoofing on and simulating the working mechanism that is reality TV, among other things.
Soon to be Scrapping in Your Living Room: Crowned
Soon to be Scrapping in Your Living Room: Crowned by Roxanne McDonald
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The teasers promise to bring us prom-dress pageantry, plenty of passive-aggression, and the most obnoxious of prima donna pissy fits. |
In anticipation of tonight’s premiere episode, the CW network site offers bios of the “Crowned: The Mother of All Pageants.” Ick.
Mom Pamela and daughter Felicia, in their homemade a-lines, have no pageant experience. Uh-oh. Here we go. You know when the CW (or any network) has a template of
blanks-to-be-filled that includes an either/or category, there’s the contrastive element, there’s the conflict, there’s the fight: cha-ching.
Mom Andrea and daughter Amanda have competed in pageants previously (Mom was crowned), but their hoochie outfits suggest the shows may have misled the pair…right to reality TV.
Mom Brenda and kid Heather (with Heather’s experience in local competitions of yore and Mom’s “working very hard” to prepare her daughter for them) are just way too blonde.
Mom Patty and kid Laura just remind me of the decade the circuits went all apoplectic about whether or not fake boobs and nose work could be allowed (and tell me maybe there shoulda been a cut-oof mark indicating how MUCH Michael Jackson work you could have done, yee gawd)—and suggest that the production team of “Crowned…” has thrown in a few first-to-be-de-sashed uggos for the premiering episodes.
Mom Angela, with no pageant experience, is there by the side of daughter Tenia, who reflects on past pageant experience by saying how the girls she competed with weren’t her “cup of tea.” Ya think these TV beauties (and I say the word with tongue in cheek) will be any different, T?
Smell a Bravo TV Spin-off Comin On
Smell a Bravo TV Spin-off Comin On–with Bravo TV Contestants Dale and Jack by Roxanne McDonald
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It is so awesome that “Top Chef” and “Project Runway” contestants Dale Levitsky and Jack Mackenroth have met and fallen for each other; and the possibilities are endless for this talented twosome. |
“The Top Chef 3: Miami” Dale Levitsky, who made it exceptionally far into the competition (was a finalist), is a self-taught chef and consultant out of Chicago, Illinois. He’s the one with the brilliant sense of humor.
“Project Runway 4″ Jack Mackenroth, who is still (as far as we know) battling with scissors, is a triple titlist in several disciplines, a degreed designer from Parsons School of Design, and menswear store owner in New York, New York. He’s the one with the pretty smile that will go nicely with his new love’s cracking wise.
And, believe it or not, they did not meet working the Bravo TV circuit. (That actually makes sense, as Dale would have been well beyond the competition process as Jack began his…provided there was no pre-taping overlap.) Anyway, Dale and Jack apparently met via MySpace communiqués.
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