Simonese Continues, Albeit Baffled and Disappointed

Simonese Continues, Albeit Baffled and Disappointed by Roxanne McDonald

Simon may be baffled by some of the remaining contestants, but he has no difficulty continuing the sharpest of critiques.

He is baffled. He is disappointed. And he is still the master of American Idol metaphors:

After Blake opens the show with an even tighter Reggae/Hip-hop version of “All Mixed Up” (as researched by the writer of the awesome Reality Shack, Laura Tucker)
You’re individual; you’re making it current. You will 100% be here next week.

After the performance of Sanjaya, whose hair is indeed gorgeous, but whose saccharine smile did nothing for his repeat mediocrity, with “Waiting on the World to Change”:
The good news is it wasn’t as ghastly as last week. I’m just finding the whole hul/hairstyle a bit weird. Based on the fact that this is a singing competition, it wasn’t a very good vocal…. But maybe it’s your hair that’s keeping you in. I don’t know what it is.

After Sundance does a sort of syncopated (or peppy) “Jeremy”:

I actually didn’t like it as much as last week…. I think you lost your charm. You went from very good last week to a very generic bar singer [this week]. Indulgent…. There are good and bad rock songs. I just didn’t like it. It sounded like you were shouting.

After Chris R. does an unremarkable version of “Tonight I Wanna Cry”:

It was good. I wasn’t jumping out of my chair. …was cutesy, a little nasally, a little bit timid and safe…but you sold it. For anybody else, that would have been a problem.

Once Jared finishes his kind of sexy but a little too affected rendition of “If You Really Love Me”:

…I’m slightly disappointed overall, tonight, because I’m not hearing the “wow” factor.

Once Brandon finishes a weak “I Just Want to Celebrate”:
I don’t think you represented yourself well—which you should have done. What you should have done is take a cue from the girls [and choose more memorable songs].

After Phil does a weird, stilted version of “I Need You”:

…the hat and the big eyes—it was all just insane at the beginning. The whole thing appeared very odd…very strange choice of song…overall very disappointing from the guys a week before we get into the [big show]. You’ve got to up your game.

And once Chris S. finishes a dynamic, upbeat, well-timed and melodious “We all Wanna be Loved”:

I thought the beginning was very good. Then, something we heard a lot tonight, you shouted in the middle. Not one of your strongest…not a hooking song…but you’ve done enough [all along] to put you through.

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