Simonese for the Mock Rock Six
Simonese for the Mock Rock Six by Roxanne McDonald
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While the performances in and of themselves were stellar, Simon reminds us how few can really rock the non-pop genre on American Idol. |
Okay, we have to admit it. This segment of American Idol was no Rockstar INXS or Rockstar Supernova. It…wasn’t even really a close Bo Bice or Chris Daughtry night at American Idol—despite how Blake did bring it and Melinda made goose bumps on my arms that I use as a measure and that I haven’t felt for weeks this season….
Anyway.
Here are the cheery and, as ever, candid comments of the critic of the year:
Phil delivers an emotional, engaging “Blaze of Glory.”
Simon says, “I thought it was okay. I didn’t hear…
[out-done by the boos] here we go. Just give me five seconds and then you can boo. I didn’t hear any authenticity; in the middle I thought you were like a bad actor playing a role. If this were an audition for a rock singing position, I don’t think you’d get it.”
Jordin rocks out, but also wails out, a rendition of “Livin on a Prayer.”
Simon says, “Let’s just cue the boos in advance: first of all, the look—it was like something out of “The Adams Family”…the hair…. As for the singing, Jordan, I mean, it was just out of control…it was verging on shrieking at times. It just completely lost control. I agree with Paula: you’ve been given guys’ rock songs, so you’re at a disadvantage. [Simon really needs to watch “Rockstar….”] But it was terrible.”
Lakisha does a convincing, almost seamless, almost rapturous “This Aint a Love Song.”
Simon says, “Lakisha, I actually could kiss you after that.” [He stand up and goes to meet Lakisha halfway, and actually does kiss her…on the lips, baby.] When the cheers quiet
down, Simon adds, “You rose to the challenge. I didn’t know what that song was; you absolutely nailed it; you’re back. And nice lips. Nice lips.”
Blake, with his great new hair color, does a spectacular beat-box sizzle with drum accompaniment right next to him for “Shot through the Heart.”
Simon says, “There will be half the audience who absolutely hated it it, and half will love it. I think it was the absolutely right thing to do. You’re a very brave man, and this is what is going to keep you in the competition next week.”
Chris performs a rowdy, randy version of “Wanted: Dead or Alive.”
Simon says, “I think you did as much as you could possibly do with that song, Chris, because this is not your style of music. Whether it was good enough for you to stay, I’m not sure.”
And, again, Melinda delivers a fierce, driven version of Bon Jovi’s latest, “Have a Nice Day.”
Simon says, “Melinda, I totally endorse what Randy just said: I thought it was a young Tina Turner. I don’t know the song that well, but I thought it was great vocally.”
Celebrity Spider Simon Cowel links
SirLinksAlot American Idol links
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