Simonese is Back for another Go

Simonese is Back for another Go by Roxanne McDonald

What he thinks of the top twelve includes a great metaphor (or analogy) Sanjaya can’t quite get and a couple of praiseful comments for Melinda, Lakisha, and even Haley.

First, can I just say how utterly beautiful Diana Ross is? And next, allow me to add my apologies: I am feeling guilty for being unfaithful to my boy, Chris Sligh, as I cannot help but find Lakisha Jones’s work absolutely brilliant. But we will defer to the man for the more articulate (in most cases) critiques:

After Brandon Rogers does an understandably (and ironically?) anxious but otherwise okay rendition of “You Can’t Hurry Love”:

That was a complete letdown, Brandon. [Boos from audience] Oh, here we go. It was a predictable performance, a predictable arrangement…, and you forgot the backgrounds…. No originality. Not good enough. Sorry.

After Melinda Doolittle does a charming and poignant version of “Home”:

[Paula and Randy have given her the highest of praise; she is crying; Paula is teary] Why are you crying, Melinda? Look, I’ve always thought that song quite boring. You made a very song quite fantastic. You know who you remind me of? You remind me of Gladys Knight. [More crying]
After Chris Sligh does a lovely interpretation-–that is hatcheted by the “big new band” with too fast a tempo—of “Endless Love”:

I think you murdered the arrangement. I think you turned a beautiful song into a complete and utter drone. [Boos] Even the boos are light. Unemotional, uninspiring, [and] I think you should keep your glasses on—cause it’s you.

After Gina Glocksen does a hip and yet subtle rocker rendition of “Love Child”:

Gina, it was one of those performances you can’t say much about. It wasn’t terrible. It wasn’t fantastic. …choose a right song for you. You look good…, but it was forgettable. I think it was a middle-pack performance.

After Sanjaya Malakar does another icky, sticky puppet-like performance, of “Aint No Mountain High Enough” [Diana Ross has even identified how he is offbeat and how he needs to “get [his] soul in there]:

Sanjaya, look, when you hear a whale in Beverly Hills, that is where Diana Ross is watching this show. She’s gonna freak when she hears that. The only similarity is the hairstyle. I don’t know what to say to that. Okay, look, Sanjaya, I’ll be positive: how old are you? [Sanjaya answers] You’re very brave.

[Clueless, Sanjaya says he has no idea what Simon means with that first comment.] When she listens to this on TV, she’ll scream.

After Haley Scarnato does a song we are praying she won’t ruin, “Missing You” [which she does botch up by forgetting words, though she starts out so damned beautifully]:
I don’t think it was that bad. You know, to give you credit, Haley, I think we will remember you now. You’ve got real [stage] presence…. You lost your nerve halfway up there…. If you can just hold it together…. I was very impressed with you tonight. I liked it.

After Phil Stacey does a clear and nicely range-sustaining “I’m Gonna Make You Love Me”:

You’re wrong, Paula. That shouldn’t be an up-tempo song. No, it shouldn’t. He schose the right tempo. …It was okay. It was a very good choice of song for you, but you have the tendency when you hit big notes you shout: I felt as if you were shouting in my ear. It was better than last week, though.

After Lakisha Jones does an appropriately bluesy version of “God Bless the Child”:

Lakisha, you’ve either got it or you haven’t got it. You’ve got it. That’s the difference–the quality difference between you and Melinda. You didn’t look intimidated. You performed like a star. Outstanding.

After Blake Lewis does his robotic dancing and what is actually a pretty straight version of “You Keep Me Hangin’ On”:

I understand why you would put your own take on it, which is fair enough. But, if you heard that version in isolation—on the radio—you wouldn’t like it.

After Stephanie Edwards does a perfunctory but nonetheless still melodious version of “Love Hangover”:

Basically, what you sang was an introduction, and it didn’t close particularly well. You were out-sung by Lakisha and Melinda tonight, and you had a multitude of Diana Ross songs to choose from. You’re gonna have to make a much bigger impact.

After Chris Richardson does a weak (and unfortunately, repeat) performance of “You Keep Me Hangin’ On”:

Chris, remembering this is a singing competition, taking you out of the equation, and your personality, listen to the vocals. I thought it was dreadful. Again, take that into isolation, listen to it on the radio…. I thought it was terrible. Terrible.

After Jordin Sparks gives a less than sparkling performance of “If We Hold on Together”:

It was a little bit gooey, I thought, that song. But having said that, I agree with [Paula and Randy]: I thought it was a very good vocal and absolutely you have a shot—have put yourself in the finals.

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Celebrity Spider Simon Cowell links

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