Simonese with Chalk and Cheese

Simonese with Chalk and Cheese by Roxanne McDonald

He predicts. He scoffs. He counters. And as always, he adds his analogies…which Ryan and others still don’t get.

Lakisha does a dreamy delivery of “Let’s Dance,” and Simon says,
Love those boots. Great Lakisha, because now you’re 30 years younger this week. Nice to be doing up-tempo song…love the end. Great vocal. Great vocal.

Chris S. does indeed do a speedy, one-beat-ahead-of-the-band “Every Little Thing She Does [is Magic],” and Simon says,
Forget pockets, timing, whatever. I thought it was a mess. Let’s assume this was the first time I’d ever seen or heard you. It was a mess. It didn’t feel right. [The Idol music intrudes.] I haven’t finished yet. It’s not the Oscars!

Gina delivers a nice rendition of “I’ll Stand by You,” and Simon says,
Gina, it wasn’t one of your best performances…[pause]…. It was your best performance. This is all about knowing who you are, choosing the right song…. The transformation from a few weeks ago was literally like chalk and cheese. It was, well, the best performance [so far tonight]. That’s how good it was.

Sanjaya, complete with Road Warrior hairstyle, does a half-assed delivery of a tough and interesting “Bath Water,” and Simon says,
I presume there was no mirror in your dressing room, tonight. I don’t think it matters anymore what we say. I think you are in your own universe, and if people like you, good luck.

Haley gives us an unremarkable “True Colors,” and Simon says,
How do you think you did, Haley? [She answers.] Yeah, I think it was sweet, but forgettable, really. You’ll hear thousands and thousands of girls all over this country able to sing just like that. Too safe; and you’re going to have to do better than that. Sorry.

Phil brings a really original sound with “Every Breath You Take,” and Simon says,

This may surprise you Phil, but actually, I thought it was very good. Great choice of song…, only time in the last few weeks I thought you were actually trying to do well in this competition.

Melinda gives another impeccable performance of “Heaven Knows,” and Simon says,

I don’t think this is going to be the performance people look back on and say this was the best you were…; [however], vocally outstanding/hate the outfit.
Blake does this sexy, sultry, secretive and slinky “Love Song,” and Simon says,
Definitely the strongest guy in the competition, that’s for sure. But you’ve got to be careful of [doing the] Chris Daltry [thing]…. I mean, it’s a matter of taste, but for sure you are the [top] guy.

Jordin is really hot and on the mark with “Hey Baby,” and Simon says,
I think you are probably the most improved…. Much younger, more confident…. The only problem I have is it was a bit copycatish. [Jordan says she wanted to do something different.] Well, you did.

And Chris R. does a typical Chris R. version of “Don’t Speak,” and Simon says,
I think your song choice got you into trouble last week—but as Randy said, I quite liked the arrangement. However, I don’t like the vocals. You struggled a bit and you’ve got to pay a lot more attention to your vocals.

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