Squiddly, Diddly, Simon, and Buble
Squiddly, Diddly, Simon, and Buble by Roxanne McDonald
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What a week with the Idol bunch. Odd singing styles. Strange Sanjaya situation continued. And a Simon Cowell who is more speechless than usual. |
What the hell is going on with American Idol? Even looking at it in the rear view mirror doesn’t help diminish the decadence: Gina Glocksen is prematurely passed out the door while the Fanjayas keep the less than entertaining hair hat on a stick in the running; a syrupy and slurry Michael Buble does a Tony Bennett sound-alike song; and Simon not only gets his discounting of fellow judges down to pet names but is actually quite the opposite of his usual, thoroughly critical self.
Well, Simon starts out with detailed critiques, then, getting interrupted with Squiddly, or Diddly, just falls off….
Here are his dwindling critiques for the week of the final nine (now eight):Blake does a quirky dinner jacket of the 60s “Mac the Knife,” and Simon says, “Good, good song choice. I’ll give you seven out of ten; I’ll give the band eight out of ten…so….”
Phil does a really smooth and intimate “Night and Day,” and Simon says,
[Disagreeing with Paula’s likening Phil to Frank Sinatra] “Which Frank Sinatra [are you talking about]? It had all of the joy of somebody singing in a funeral parlor. It was completely and utterly gloomy…and slightly dark…really dark.”
Melinda is especially accurate in reproducing “I Got Rhythm,” and Simon says, “[Again poking Paula] Every song has a beginning, middle, and end…. I didn’t like the first part of the song—I thought it was a bit cabaret. I thought the second part of the song was great; it was fun.”
“But I don’t think we’re going to be able to criticize you, and this is [a/the] problem.” Ryan asks why this is a problem, and Simon responds, “Because we like criticizing [being mean] occasionally.” Ryan flips back that “you can’t just be mean for the sake of being mean,” and Simon says, “Yes we can.”
Chris R. does an unremarkable “Don’t Get around Much Anymore,” and Simon says, “I thought that was very good actually, Chris. I thought that was very believable. I agree with Paula and Randy: you made it kind of hip. You worked it out very well. You’re probably one of the best tonight.”Jordin does a cruise boat version of “On a Clear Day,” and Simon says, “I think you sang it very well, except I don’t think you achieved what Chris did before you—which is to make it young and current. It was a bit old-fashioned, and I didn’t like it as much as Squiddly and Diddly, here.”
Gina does a very convincing and moving “Smile” (much more convincing than our Sanjaya does his whatever song), and Simon says, “I can’t rave about the vocals…because two girls came on before you and just completely outsang you….” [Paula interjects, and Simon just stops talking.]
Sanjaya does a flat “Dancing Cheek to Cheek,” and Simon says, “Let’s try a different tactic this week: uh…, incredible!” [To this Sanjaya, who thinks it is a compliment, thanks Simon and then adds that to get a compliment like that from Simon means everything…. Whooooosh. Right over his flat-haired head.]
Haley does a kind of schizy “Aint Misbehavin,” and Simon says, “[to Paula, who tells Haley she looks good in green] That’s rude. Say what you think of the performance.” Then, “Okay, I think you’ve got great legs.” Then, “Actually, I agree with Randy: it was a good style of music for you. It was a little bit pageanty, I thought…. [Paula interrupts with something and again Simon just blows off the rest of his commentary.]
And Lakisha does a spunky and exacting (as usual) “Stormy Weather,” and Simon says, “Back on form. That was a sassy, great performance.”
SirLinksAlot American Idol links
Celebrity Spider Simon Cowell links
More Sanjaya at TV Robot
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