What Else Did We Expect from America’s Got Talent?
What Else Did We Expect …? by Roxanne McDonald
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It’s TV, it’s reality TV, it features a wannabe Simon Cowell, and it now includes a most vociferous Sharon Osbourne. It is therefore more than “America’s Got Talent.” |
I still can’t help but consider “America’s Got Talent” one tap away from being a “Gong Show” throwback, what with all the very mediocre talent on stage (rather than in a few audition episodes) and what with Piers banging on his X buzzer as if he were the gongkeeper.
And keeping to that reputation, a most controversial moment opens (well, a few contestants in) the first installment of the second season:
A little girl named Breeze does a weak singing number. Piers slams the X, and proceeds to insult the kid, her mom, and anyone else involved. Breeze had said if she won “America’s Got Talent” she would buy her mom a car. Trying to
summon the Simon, Piers says the kid is just on the show because Mom pushed her into it, so Mom could get a car.
Sharon Osbourne, not to accept anything offensive to the people or to her own pretty accepting sensibilities (I mean, she is married to the Prince of F—ing Darkness), tells Piers off then walks off. Piers follows. Hasslehoff is left on the panel alone.
Day one and the spots are on the judges and not on what should be the remarkable talent.
Okay, could we get back to the show?
Also performing are The Southern Girls, who do a fine enough harmonizing act that they are passed on to the next round; a vengeance songstress so bad she does not only not get through her message of bitterness for all the men who have dumped her but does not get the go ahead; a snake charmer; an accordion act; a self-proclaimed one-of-a-kind (eh) dancer; a really good country singer; an aerialist; a really bad singer; and a veteran animal act that even called for Sharon to bring out Muffy or Buffy or whatever the name of her little pocket dog is…to be the fourth judge. (Must say that I always got such delight when Sharon would coo to and coddle her dogs on “The Osbournes”.)
The Rascals (no, not the original Rascals) were impressive singing Hanson style harmony that was great, really. The white-face urban hip hoppers were also fascinating to watch.
And the saxophonist, the father-son acrobatic team, and the dueling pecs duo all also entertained America, though not nearly as much as Piers and his self-important moments in the limelight.
After a recap of episode 1, episode 2 brings on more gong-able and more great—with Piers this time a lit-tle-ti-ny-bit easier on them all. Or, a new strategy—hitting the X and then telling the contestant he was “testing” their abilities to stand up under the pressure. Puh-lease.
Letting nothing fluster her—as she has seniority over the silliness of such emotions and critical crap and all—is Disco Diana. Well, that’s what I call her. She is 75, wears minis and “bling”, she says, and does an off-key but endearing song about dancing. When Piers tries the snooty “You remind me of my granny” bit on her, however, she merely smiles and says, “When you reach my age, I hope you will be able enough to do what I can do.”
Blam!
Coco the comic also gives it right back to Piers, especially when he couldn’t, he says, understand her and she says next time she will ehr ungh sign language so-e-can-unner-stan…and then again when he says she talks so fast, she comes back laughing and saying, “You only give me ninety seconds!” Coco goes through to the next round.
Also through are a plate spinner (whom Piers buzzes, then changing his mind, I guess, says he only did that to throw her off and hopefully drop a plate—now getting way out of control and off his own course of trying to emulate the king of critique Cowell); another b-boy dancer (doing a great to-the-crowd performance that Piers thinks is a “sport” and not a dance—and that Mary, Nigel, Mia, Shane, and others on the sister show will likely be attacking); a green but potentially good singer; and an amazing operatic singer who almost doesn’t get through but who, when it comes to Sharon doing the tie-breaking, tells her he hopes one day she will admire him as much as he admires her, Mrs. Osbourne, and he has her heart.
Sorry for lumping two episodes together, and again, sorry I will not make it through the season with this show, most likely…. I just can’t find enough appreciation for remakes that miss the mark or for judges who are not innately specifically hypercritical but who use a conceit that when it falls short of replication is passed off as a way to test the contestants on their grace under pressure or whatever.
…especially when there are now so many supreme shows in the same and surrounding time slots.
SirLinksAlot America’s Got Talent links
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