Imperfect Promenade

Imperfect Promenade and Plenty of Complaints by Roxanne McDonald

Runway collisions and talking smack make for the perfectly imperfect high school themes of this week’s “America’s Next Top Model.”

A marching band exercise starts off the night, then a group of planes fly overhead—in formation. [Was this done for the show? Wow. Expensive.] The planes cue Ms. Jay to prompt the girls to learn to walk the runway in formation, which is disastrous.

The crashing and carping continues as the girls do a prom theme runway show at a local high school. With

sub-themes of Modern/ Contempo; The 80s; and Ghetto Fab, the girls walk and stumble the runway, consistently collide (some of the groups’ girls clueless as to the sense of others walking with them) and have their own costume malfunction when Sarah’s dress flops open to aghast young audience members.
Later, Sarah will be reprimanded, but I’m wondering why the wardrobe either 1) didn’t glue the damned thing down or 2) try another dress altogether. Hey, I know, how about realizing that the “prom” dress was inappropriate for high schoolers? Whatever. I am sure we will be hearing more about this.

The only glue in the episode is the girls all complaining and criticizing—each other and the tasks and challenges.

Jael talks about Sarah’s costume. Renee bitches about Jaslene.

Renee rags about Natasha. Renee pokes at Jael and Sarah. Samantha remarks something about Jay. I mutter something here, too, as while I love his character, and while I respect his training, I note how he calls the yearbook best of/most likely to caricatures “cliches”–when I believe they are or once were called “superlatives”….

Anyway, Sarah says something mean about Samantha. Renee gripes about Jaslene again, and Renee, Renee, and Renee repeatedly, endlessly, relentlessly whimpers about not getting the good role in the challenge, about not tapping into her brilliance, about not this and shortcoming that and complaint and excuse those and them.

Bottom line is the judges have the rights to the final critiques—they make the legitimate complaints and

subsequent cuts. They get to be the ones to, well, judge, those really “not all there”; not trampy enough; too sexy; fabulous; not having alot of range; needing more energy, less control; outstanding, perfect; not really as having any personality; or as having a great body but as one they should keep an eye on….

So please, please, puuuhhhleeease, judges, since you get the final smackdown say-so, please get rid of this one. Granted, it would not be fair to include in your criteria how a girl behaves outside the criteria of the tasks and challenges. You can’t just watch the footage of Renee in the confessionals…. So maybe her attitude will sabotage her on a set. We can only hope. This is not even that “good TV” a lot of conflict and crying can often create. This is torture—so upsetting this viewer is tempted to change the channel.

And we continue to talk about “America’s Next Top Model” nonetheless.

SirLinksAlot America’s Next Top Model links

No Comments »

No comments yet.

Leave a comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.