The Witch and the Wardrobe

The Witch and the Wardrobe–America’s Next Top Model Installment 7 by Roxanne McDonald

After a my-pain-is-worse-than-yours session, the girls actually grow beyond their self-indulgent defense mechanisms.

the seventh installment of Top Model 8 begins, we might think we are in for another hour of snips and snipes and gripes: Renee is depressed (which I think is typical fallout from an angry episode). Whitney is beating up on herself and discussing how she needs to improve, Dionne and Natasha miss their babies—though Dionne suggests that she misses her baby more as Natasha’s baby isn’t her biological baby?

While Renee apologizes and Jael says that just because she is an actress who can turn it on and off doesn’t mean her apology letter isn’t sincere.

Christian Marc comes to remove the rats’ nest of a weave from Brit’s sore head, and the Tyra mail sends the girls to a place where there can not be themselves. Tia Mowry is there to great, assist, and assess.

Natasha dons a witches hat and acts pretty mental but at

least changes up her voice; Jael wears a crown and poses as the queen of the world; and brit takes on a whacked out jester role. Renee does a forlorn pioneer girl in a bonnet; and Jaslene does a bleep-worthy bit in a burlesque showgirl headpiece. Dionne is at first lost in her sun hat, but with prompting from Tia does a southern belle; and Whitney with a western leopard-print hat does a seduction act, complete with hands touching her lips and her body—which Tia affirms as an excellent performance.
After a short time to rehearse a triple role (such as those of the themes of the last two episodes—kind of Three Faces of Eve acting), the girls perform for the fabulous Efren Ramirez (whom they whisper and gush over, having recognized him from Napoleon Dynamite). They each play their 1) melodramatic bitch; 2) diva type; and 3) perky bubbalicious model types; and Efren judges Renee the wildest and most impressive.

She gets to pick one friend (Dionne, who is shocked what with all the fighting the two have done) for the reward, and the two stand up in ceremony as Efron hands them each a tee-shirt, Dionne getting an “I voted for Dionne” shirt and Renee getting an “I voted for Renee tee-shirt.” That’s it. Not only are the prizes completely irrelevant and cheap, but the anticlimax bums them out even more than they were at the start of the day.

Ah, but then…[and thank the good Lord they didn’t have hissy fits about the crappy tees]…Renee’s family and Dionne’s family arrive for a visit.

This real reward is awesome, and Dionne is in her glory coming and fussing over her kid’s hair while Renee is—if I heard right—telling her husband how glad she is he didn’t forget her?

All of this is of course torture for Natasha—who calls her husband to report she has fallen.

But with Renee in a better social space and Natasha getting a supportive lecture from Jay Manuel, most of the girls show growth and improvement–doing a photo shoot with “ghosts of ANTM past”…save for poor clumsy, no-emotion-in- her-photos Whitney.

And the least dramatic, well, less tantrum-tossing contender is out.

SirLinksAlot America’s Next Top Model links

No Comments »

No comments yet.

Leave a comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.