A Tat Does Not a Convict Make

America’s Kookiest Challenge?

A Tat Does Not a Convict Make: America’s Psychic Challenge, Episode 2 by Roxanne McDonald

Is “America’s Psychic Challenge” a testament to the psychic gifts so many of us have that we don’t rightfully tap into? Will it be more groundbreaking than ordinary material realism? Is it an embarrassment even to the reality TV milieu?

I’m still trying to decide how watch-worthy “America’s Psychic Challenge” is. In the meantime, herein I will summarize episode 2 for you so you can decide.

First Task

5 prisoners—one (cellmate #3) has a criminal record; four are decoys—in actuality, a minister, a physical therapist, a motivational speaker, and a special education teacher.

25 points to the psychic who identifies the one with a criminal past.

Joseph picks him pretty quickly, telling cellmate #3 to “be a power of example and an example of power,” meaning who knows what but earning 25 points.

Silvana touches each cellmate, does some automatic writing, and comes up with a clue—that the right one had something to do with four years, four months. She chooses #2, is told she is wrong, but is also told that #3 did his time in four years and four months!

Sylvana suggests she should at least get five points for that spot-on detail, but she gets zip.

Naryza likens her gift to that of one standing on top of a mountain while the rest (unpsychic ones) ar standing below on flat terrain. She may be flying too close to the sun, however, for she very quickly picks the one who “in his energy [is] a lot of regret.” She is wrong when she picks the motivational speaker.

Lynn enters the task with what she says she keeps getting: images of tattoos. Oh, THAT’s a gift of psychic proportions for sure. Quirkier, she asks to see each one’s arms—not asking to see any other body part a tat would possibly be on.

She guesses the only one she sees has a tat, and is wrong. She then whines a little about how hard it is to do interpretation without interaction. I guess feeling them up doesn’t count in her book.

Second Task

5 dogs (one barking waaay too much); 5 humans. Match the dog to the human.

Sylvana nails all five matches, then second-guesses her intuition, silly psychic, and changes so that she ends with 3 out of 5.

Naryza hits on only 2 out of 5.

Joseph also only identifies 2 out of 5 matches
Lynn makes 1 match—as she confesses to using logic.

Note: the one correct match all four psychics made? Pairing the Chihuahua with the Latino. Duh.

Third Task

Provocative and exciting task involving the hotel where Janis Joplin died of a heroin overdose. All the psychics are told is that a celebrity died. All they have is a blindfolded escort to the actual room (#105). And all they are given is a giant portfolio envelope sealed with a photo of Joplin.

The more details they identify (as judged by co-author of Death in Paradise, Brad Schreiber) the more points (up to 40) they earn.

Nanyza picks up on so much that she becomes the feelings: she names
Location
Creative person
Profound aloneness
In a hole with no way out
Ongoing drug abuse
Sadness

Nanyza earns 24 out of 40 points, giving her a total of 34 points—not enough to go to the semi-finals.

Sylvana is next and is even more uncannily on target. She identifies

Female, dearly loved,
Death highly media publicized
Not a local
Dressed outrageously
Single
From Texas
Location as well as position of body

Sylvana earns 28 out of 40 points, giving her a total of 43 points—which makes her eligible for the semis.

Joseph is either completely whack or is reading another tragedy in the same room—God forbid. He says something about:

Dark-eyed, dark-haired man
Distraught man
Yelling
Tensions
Murder
Drugs
Deceit
Arguing and gunshots at close range, resulting in two bodies—one male, one female

Joseph earns 4 out of 40 points, giving him a total of 39 points but making him miss the chance to go the semis by one point.

Lynn displaces Joseph with an impressive reading:

Suicide or murder?
Female energy
Alcohol—lots of alcohol
Died at 2 a.m. (she is one hour off)
Pills, drugs
Depressed
Died too soon
Location of body
Death is not recent
Name has something to do with Anna and J (yeah, woow: Janna)
Pills, drug addiction
Woman drinking a lot

Lynn earns 35 out of 40 points, giving her a total of 40 points and making up for what she calls her psychic ADD by making herself eligible for the semi-finals.

Well, as television, telephone, and newspaper astrologers and mediums disclaim, the eye-rolling and convulsing or whathaveyou is purely for entertainment purposes.

So, okay. Whether or not it is quality entertainment is another topic for another discussion at another time.

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