Beauty & the Geek 3, Episode 1: Is DeNile a River???

Beauty & the Geek 3, Episode 1: Is DeNile a River??? by Roxanne McDonald

The right beauty was eliminated, but regrets go to losing geeky Sanjay so early.

The long awaited (for some of us) third installment of “Beauty & the Geek” began with a promise of good interpersonal dynamics. Oh, why be so polite, or technical: looks like some good tantrums are in the making. In fact, we have witnessed our first already.

The geeks and beauties arrive at the mansion, are paraded past one another as they are ushered into segregated rooms—the beauties seated in the den with their backs to the door and the geeks are sent to the study. Then, one at a time, a geek is sent in to “introduce” himself, or his voice, and is asked a question or two by an interested beauty.

As part of the new introduction/ selection format, the beauty who decides on the announcing geek enters the study and introduces herself, answering any questions or prompts with an expected doi or duh—such as when Andrea (I think) is asked which of two state teams she likes better and she responds, “There are two teams?” to silent stares in return. Or better, when Mario pulls a synesthetic test on Cecille by asking her if she is a red state or blue state and she answers how she is from California, so she is “Golden State”…which disgusts Mario to the point of saying to the others how he definitely does not want her.
The geeks and beauties get their pairing accomplished, and before the first challenge are proposed the opportunity to get out now: host Mike Richards prompts each team to hold a baton; then, as he ups the offer of $5k to $10k, then 15k, then 20k, says that whichever team partners mutually agree to drop their baton they can walk now with the money. Some shake, some shake their heads, and one, Tori, starts to cry a little…but no one takes the offer.

Challenge one sees the beauties finding three books using the Dewey Decimal System at the McFaddin Library, and the geeks, once their matches complete the grueling task and pass off the corresponding task cards, have to do a three-part socializing challenge: 1) get a stranger to stop and rub sunscreen on their backs; 2) get one phone number; and 3) borrow a cell phone.

Cecille finishes first for her gender. Tori is last—maybe in part because she spends her time yapping about not being able to find the books instead of looking.

Nate is also first in his gender’s challenge(s), so Cecille and Nate get to evade elimination.

The next challenge involves the geeks doing stand-up at the Laugh Factory—most of which is terribly un-funny, though Pi is adorable (again) and Mario is engaging, with Nate once again showing up the other brainiacs…getting 86% of the votes.

The beauties also get challenged in a performance, doing a televised interview with guest Stephen Dubner, the co-author of the book the beauties were evidently supposed to have read, Freakonomics.

Oh, that’s what these books were for? You can just hear their interior monologue wailing….Sam Reuben and Anna Chavez, seasoned anchors, judge the girls, most of whom fail to ask any substantive questions, fail to pull off the reading of the tele-prompt, and even fail to pronounce words like “enigmatic” so often that when one beauty finally gets it, Chavez burst out in exclamation her delight.

Sheree is, however, pretty good at anchoring (having read, her partner Pi suggests, the TOC and the introduction), and wins the challenge, making up for the adorable but weak comedy of Pi and his flat if not offensive sex jokes.

Right before the two couples decide on who will go to the elimination round, however, Tori has one more episode. Didn’t you see it coming? What with the crying over money or personal growth, the fit in the stacks at McFaddin, and the harping about her partner whom she wants to stay away from her forever….

Poor Sanjay takes the rap, and he apologizes to her, and he tries to convince her to study (as, uh, yeah, each beauty challenge requires it)…but they lose in the elimination round to Erin and Drew (the Vulcan who admits to keeping emotions at bay, which comes in handing for times just like this).
Without being unnecessarily cruel, I still have to say that Tori wasn’t even pretty enough to pull of all that primadonna pouting and whatnot. And had she at least tried…. Well, it did make for a slam-dunk for the other teams the first week, anyway.

Wait, a what?
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