MENSA Man almost Makes Fifth Grader History

MENSA Man almost Makes Fifth Grader History by Roxanne McDonald

Jason Ramsey makes it all the way to the million-dollar question before conceding he may be a MENSA member, but he is not smarter than a fifth grader.

Bring on one Berklee College honors graduate with an IQ of 143; introduce him to the new class composed of Cody; Mackenzie, Nathan, Olivia, and Sierra; add three but see no more than one cheat used; and you have one of the only a few contestants to make it as far as the million-dollar

question on “Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?”
Here are the questions Jason answered with apparent ease though with a feigned fear and trembling—born of the guy’s sweet humility, I imagine– that was adorable to watch:

FIRST GRADE MUSIC
1. What is the fifth word in the lyrics of “The Star-spangled Banner”?
a) light b) see c) red

FIRST GRADE GRAMMAR
2. How many singular nouns are in the following sentence? ‘The girls were mad at the boys because the boys threw snowballs at them.’

SECOND GRADE U.S. GEOGRAPHY
3. Yosemite National Park is located in what U.S. state?

THIRD GRADE ASTRONOMY
4. True or false? The Milky Way Galaxy contains more than one billion stars.

SECOND GRADE ANIMAL SCIENCE (CLASSROOM CLUB QUESTION from MCKENNA, ST. PAUL’S SCHOOL)
5. True or false? The Humpback Whale is cold-blooded.

THIRD GRADE SOCIAL STUDIES
6. The U.S. Declaration of Independence was written and signed in what year?

FOURTH GRADE U.S. HISTORY
7. U.S. president Hayes was elected into office in 1876. What was his first name?

FIFTH GRADE SCIENCE
8. What precious metal has the symbol ‘AG’ on the Periodic Table of the Elements?

FOURTH GRADE WORLD GEOGRAPHY
9. What is the capital of Brazil?

FIFTH GRADE DRAMA
10. “Two households both alike in dignity…” is the opening line to what Shakespeare play?

FIFTH GRADE WORLD GEOGRAPHY (FINAL QUESTION)
Jason drops out of school, and I forget the question he guessed at—an answer which would have been wrong, anyway! Yikes.

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Smartest Guy on Show So Far

Smartest Guy on Show So Far by Roxanne McDonald

Smartest guy on the show “Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?” so far, is what Jeff Foxworthy calls Victor, the man with the 1390 on his SATs and a law degree from University of Michigan.

Victor is also the player with the quickest trigger finger thus far, a characteristic the producers of this episode play up, play on, and milk for all it is worth.

Still, Victor goes further than most contestants, making it all way up to and through the penultimate question—dropping out of school as the final question topic is revealed:
Here are Victor’s questions, right after I say Halleluiah that “Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?”, moved to Monday nights, is back in full one-hour format!!!!! Yay!

SECOND GRADE MATH
1. What is 309 rounded to the nearest hundredth?

FIRST GRADE VOCABULARY
2. True or false? The word “stern” refers to the front of a boat.

FOURTH GRADE SCIENCE
3. The force of attraction between two objects that have [similar] mass is called what?
a) gravity
b) friction
c) fusion

SECOND GRADE SPELLING
4. The names of how many colors in the rainbow spectrum are spelled with only three letters?

FIRST GRADE GEOGRAPHY
5. What state borders South Dakota to the north?

THIRD GRADE MEASUREMENTS
6. What unit of power is abbreviated by the letter ‘w’?

THIRD GRADE ANIMAL SCIENCE
7. True or false? The Alaskan Malamute is a species of fish.

FOURTH GRADE WORLD GEOGRAPHY
8. In terms of area, what is the largest desert in Africa?

FIFTH GRADE CULTURAL STUDIES
9. The ancient region known as Mesopotamia was bordered by the Euphrates and what other river?

FIFTH GRADE WORLD HISTORY
10. The League of Nations was formed after the conclusion of what war?

FINAL, MILLION-DOLLAR QUESTION: FIFTH GRADE HEALTH
11. Of the thirty-two teeth in the typical adult human mouth, how many are bicuspids?

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I Want My Half-hour Back!

I Want My Half-hour Back! by Roxanne McDonald

And I don’t mean give back the wasted half-hour, but give us back the full hour of “Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?”

It is totally understandable if the reason behind the time truncation is that the kids get too tired in a full hour-length show. And would I prefer to have both “Are You Smarter…”

AND Big Brother, if that’s the case—that the game show had to give way to the best reality TV? Okay, okay, I will quit gripin. Cause I love “Are You Smarter…,” but I am fixated on Big Brother (which I have discussed at great and boring lengths elsewhere, here).
Anyway, after all that emoting on my part, not all that much excitement or scandal or someone to be sacrificed to the cheeky appeared on this week’s episode. (Though, Foxworthy was especially foxy and just as funny.)

Clay Sellers (looove that name) made a good load of dough, answering more questions than we might expect him to, repeating as he did the third grade and all.

Here are his questions:

FIRST GRADE ANIMAL SCIENCE
1. True or false? All camels have two humps.

FIRST GRADE MEASUREMENTS
2. If you’re traveling due Southeast and make a 180-degree turn, what direction are you now heading?

SECOND GRADE MATH
3. What’s 101 + 98 + 4?

SECOND GRADE U.S. GEOGRAPHY
4. What city is the capital of Texas?

THIRD GRADE WORLD GEOGRAPHY
5. The Baltic Sea is surrounded by what continent?

FOURTH GRADE SOCIAL STUDIES
6. The phrase “of the people, by the people, for the people” is stated in which of the following?
a. The Declaration of Independence
b. The U.S. Constitution
c. The Gettysburg Address

THIRD GRADE CULTURAL STUDIES
7. True or false? English is an official language of India

FIFTH GRADE ASTRONOMY
8. Halley’s Comet is named after an English astronomer. What was his first name?

(read more…)

Now Brian Can Move out of His Parents’ House

Now Brian Can Move out of His Parents’ House by Roxanne McDonald

He’s a world traveler by the oceans, but in his late thirties or early forties [didn’t catch age], Brian still lives at home. Now that he has won 25k, though, he can move.

He may not be smarter than a fifth grader, he tells the audience, but at least now he has enough money to leave the nest.

His questions are as follows (minus one I am sorry I missed):

SECOND GRADE MATH
1. True or false? 8/7 is an improper fraction.

SECOND GRADE SCIENCE
2. The process of pasteurization was developed from the work of what scientist who was born in 1822?

THIRD GRADE MEASUREMENTS
3. ————–

FIRST GRADE SOCIAL STUDIES
4. What is the title of the U.S. National Anthem?

FIRST GRADE WORLD GEOGRAPHY
5. Which of the world’s major oceans lies directly east of Africa?

FOURTH GRADE GEOMETRY
6. In a right triangle, the side opposite the right angle is called the what?
a) base
b) hypotenuse
c) radius

FIFTH GRADE LIFE SCIENCE
7. How many incisors are there in the adult human mouth?
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Smart Enough to Say When

Smart Enough to Say When by Roxanne McDonald

She was one question short of a million dollars, and it turned out she knew the answer, but marketing maven Stephanie smart enough to talk a half-million and walk.

So she had to flunk out in front of a zillion people. So she knew the answer to the 5th grade question she opted not to see or try before she flunked out. Stephanie W. was a whip, didn’t use all her cheats, and is now a half-million bucks

richer…for answering ten questions in under an hour. Pretty good day’s wages.

Following are her questions…, after the former pre-med student, Andy, finishes his brief visit to fifth grade:

Andy’s last few questions

First Grade U.S. Geography
1. The U.S. state of Hawaii is located in which ocean?

Second Grade Grammar
2. The following sentence contains how many possessive pronouns?
“Alana let Jacob ride her bike because his had a flat tire.”

Third Grade World Geography
3. What is the capital of the United Kingdom?

Stephanie’s questions

First Grade Animal Science
4. True or false? Brown bears can be found in the wild in North America.

First Grade Math
5. A rectangle has how many sides?

Second Grade Astronomy
6. True or false? Meteor showers can occur when the earth passes through the dust of a comet’s tail.

Third Grade Art
7. What U. S. city is home to the Metropolitan Museum of Art?

Second Grade U.S. Geography
8. Kyle and Jacob hop in a car in San Francisco, California, and start driving due East. What is the first state they will pass into?

Fifth Grade Health
9. In the 1950s, Dr. Jonas Salk developed a vaccine that would protect people from what disease?

Fourth Grade Life Science
10. In humans, bone marrow produces which of the following types of blood cells?
a. red blood cells
b. white blood cells
c. both red and white blood cells

Fourth Grade World Geography
11. Sweden’s longest land border is with what other country?

Fifth Grade World History
12. What Egyptian queen was the wife of Roman general Mark Antony?

Third Grade Cultural Studies
13. What building is the official London residence of Queen Elizabeth II?

Million-dollar Question: Fifth Grade Music
14. In the 1720s, what man composed a [set] of concertos known as The Four Seasons?

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Gonna Be Some Heavy Tithing This Week

Gonna Be Some Heavy Tithing This Week by Roxanne McDonald

Pastor Ben sowed some impressive rows in fifth grade this week, and his church family will reap the rewards.

The church community needs that prize money, says Pastor Ben, for the people have limited funds and therefore limited numbers of supportive community programs.

Thanks to his smarts and his strategic decision to not be greedy, Pastor Ben will get to give…a lot.

Here are the questions Ben answered, with his church family sitting in the congregation, er, audience, watching and cheering him on:
First Grade Grammar
1. What is the abbreviation in the following sentence? “The class voted for Mr. Foxworthy as Teacher of the Year.”

First Grade U.S. Geography
2. Alana went on a trip to see Everglades National Park. What state did she go to?

Second Grade Astronomy
3. True or false? The planet Jupiter has a larger mass than Earth.

Second Grade World Geography
4. What city is the capital of Japan?

Third Grade Animal Science
5. True or false? The Orca is a type of dolphin.

Third Grade World History
6. According to the Ancient Roman calendar, the Ides of March falls on what day in March?

Fifth Grade Earth Science
7. By definition, an anemometer measures the speed of what?

Fifth Grade U.S. History
8. When Abraham Lincoln was assassinated, who was the president of the United States? [paraphrased question, here]

Fourth Grade U.S. Measurements
9. On a map, if one inch equals 20 miles, how many inches equal 180 miles?

Fourth Grade Cultural Studies
10. Who was the Greek god of wine?

The questions new contestant Andy, a former pre-med student, took on, for starters (to be continued next week):
First Grade Health
11. True or false? The esophagus is a passageway that connects the mouth to the nose.

Second Grade Earth Science
12. A man-made lake created for the purpose of storing water is called what?
a) channel
b) reservoir
c) isthmus

Fourth Grade Math
13. What is the product of 2/3 and 48?

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Are You Smarter than the One-question Whiz?

Are You Smarter than the One-question Whiz? by Roxanne McDonald

Well, okay, the contestant to get only the very first question right is preceeded by twins who go quite far into “Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?”

But how pitiful, how embarrassing, to have three cheats, a second-grade question, and a ten year-old on your side, and then bomb…not only flunk out but identify the question with a lot of unrelated and unrealistic chatter.

That’s what happens to Jennifer L. when she gets the second-grade measurements question (below). She muses how there are some 3,000+ feet in a yard, and says

something about how she just recently covered this kind of stuff in chemistry tutoring sessions…! Whooey. Even the usually politely stoic classmates were stunned, one throwing up his hands as if to say, “Where did you get this one?”

Anyway.

Here are the questions that took the twins to 175k and Jennifer L. to, well, back to 2nd grade math class.

Questions for Cory and Chad

1.First Grade Spelling
How many days of the week do not start with ‘T’ or ‘S’?

2. First Grade Geography
True or false? Including Alaska and Hawaii, there are more U.S. states that border the Pacific Ocean than border the Atlantic Ocean.

3. Second Grade Vocabulary
What word can mean both an instrument used to draw circles and also a device used for determining direction?

4. Second Grade Animal Science
Cows exist in herds, while ants live in groups called what?
a) colonies
b) communities
c) clusters

5. Third Grade Math
An Isosceles Triangle has how many equal sides?

6. Third Grade Life Science
Russet and Yukon Gold are varieties of what vegetable?

7. Fourth Grade World Geography
Mt. Everest is located in what mountain range?
a) Andes
b) Alps
c) Himalayas

8. Fourth Grade Social Studies
According to Article I of the U.S. Constitution, what government official in the executive branch also serves as president of the U.S. Senate?

9. Fifth Grade History
What former U.S. president was the first to win the Nobel Peace Prize?

Questions for Jennifer L.

10. Third Grade Grammar
The sentence “Alana always ate anchovies.” is an example of which of the following?
a) alliteration
b) future tense
c) compound sentence

11. Second Grade Measurements
If Jacob stands on Spencer’s shoulder, they are 2 1/2 yards high. How many feet is that?

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Fifth Grade: It’s not Rocket Science, It’s Harder!

Fifth Grade: It’s not Rocket Science, It’s Harder! by Roxanne McDonald

The financial whiz with the 3.5 college gpa couldn’t do it. The high school history teacher couldn’t do it. And, yes, the rocket scientist couldn’t say he was smarter than a fifth grader.

Granted, the history questions didn’t throw the history teacher, Levi L.; and the science questions didn’t contribute to the downfall of the rocket scientist, Karl S.. But neither they nor CFO Dennis could make it through the “Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?” test.

Maybe these performances give testimony to how our schools are achieving higher standards than they used to?

Dennis’s questions:

1.First Grade Science
Which of the following foods has seeds inside?
a) orange
b) potato
c) carrot

2.Second Grade Animal Science
True or false? Chickens are cold-blooded animals.

3.Third Grade World History
True or false? Vikings, also known as Norsemen, originated in Scandinavia.

4.Fourth Grade World Geography
What country borders Spain to the west?

5.Second Grade Math
If Jacob always goes bowling three times a week, how many times does he go bowling in eleven weeks?

6.First Grade Spelling
How many times does the letter ‘n’ appear in the following word? “environment”?

7.Fifth Grade U.S. Geography

Completed in 1825, what manmade waterway in New York State connects the Hudson River to the Great Lakes?

Levi’s questions:

8.Third Grade Social Studies
What U.S. state was named after a king of England?

9.First Grade Animal Science
True or false? All birds are mammals.

10.Fourth Grade U.S. History
During what decade did James Marshall discover gold nuggets, sparking the famous California Gold Rush?

11.Fourth Grade World Geography
Mt. Kilimanjaro is located on what continent?

Karl’s questions:

12.Third Grade Social Studies
True or false? Vermont was one of the original thirteen colonies.

13.First Grade Geography
The U.S. state of Indiana borders on which Great Lake?

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Are You Smarter than Your Spouse?

Are You Smarter than Your Spouse? by Roxanne McDonald

Looks like Jeff Foxworthy was having to think on his feet as a contestant bombed out on the first question—which would have left lots of dead air time to fill were it not for his asking the guy’s wife to play “Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?”

First, I want to complain that “Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?” is not on often enough. Seems like it skips a week….

Next, want to acknowledge the cool way Foxworthy dealt with contestant Michael Warren flunking out of school after one question. Maybe he was prepped in advance should something like this happen, but I’m thinking maybe there was no back-up player, or the player to follow Michael got sick or stuck in traffic or whatever.

Anyway, here are the week’s questions/answers—the first for Michael Warren; the rest for his wife Kelly Warren.

1.First Grade Social Studies
Irving Berlin wrote what patriotic song that contains the words “stand beside her and guide her”?
2.First Grade Spelling
When reciting the English alphabet in order, what is the fourth consonant you will say?
3.Second Grade World Geography
France borders which ocean?

4.First Grade Animal Science
True or false? Every adult rhinoceros has exactly one horn.
5.Third Grade U.S. Geography
What state’s nickname is the “show me” state?
6.Second Grade Social Studies
What man, who would later be president, was the commander-in-chief during the U.S. Revolutionary War?
7.Third Grade Earth Science
Which of the following scales is used to measure earthquake intensity?
a) Richter
b) Saffir-Simpson
c) Fujita
8.Fourth Grade Math
How many numbers between 10 and 20 are perfect squares?
9.Fourth Grade Astronomy
Approximately how long does it take for the moon to make one full orbit around the earth?
10.Fifth Grade Measurements
How many pecks equal one bushel?

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Part Two of the Triple Firsts Double Episode of Are You Smarter…?

Part Two of the Triple Firsts Double Episode of “Are You Smarter…?” by Roxanne McDonald

The two-hour installment of “Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?” opened with Steve, a Yalie with a 3.6, first time at question #7 without cheating, first time the million-dollar question was shown with a million dollars on the line, and first time anyone break-danced at reaching the $300,000 (or any other) level. In the second hour, Kerry Ann and Earl bring us back to “normalcy”. But still, fun and funny.

Here are the questions returning player Kerry Ann kind of zipped her way through:

1.Third Grade Spelling
The word balloon has two sets of double letters—double ‘l’ and double ‘o’. How many sets of double letters are in the following word? [Foxworthy says aloud the word ‘bookkeeper’.]

2.Third Grade Social Studies
The United Nations headquarters are in what city?

3.First Grade Measurement
True or false? In a leap year, there are more days in January and February combined than there are in November and December combined.

4.Second Grade Literature
Which is a fairy tale by Hans Christian Anderson?
a.The Dutchess and the Door
b.The Princess and the Pea
c.The Lady and the Lion

5.Fourth Grade Science
Which subatomic particle is not contained within the nucleus of an atom?
a.proton
b.electron
c.neutron

Then, new player, Excited Earl, took over:

6.First Grade Animal Science
A group of wolves is called a pack. What do we call a group of lions?
a. prestige
b. pride
c. pint

7.Second Grade Earth Science
True or false? All snowflakes are ten-sided geometric figures.

8.First Grade Math
Kyle has two dollars in change in his pocket, consisting of

only nickels and dimes. If he has thirteen dimes, how many nickels does Kyle have?
9.Second Grade Spelling
How many times does the letter ‘l’ appear in the following phrase? [Foxworthy reads aloud “awfully full”]

10.Fourth Grade Geography
The majority of Yellowstone National Park is located in what U.S. state?

11.Fifth Grade Life Science
The adrenal glands are located directly above what organ?

12.Science/Geography (I missed the grade, sorry)
The Ring of Fire is an area of seismic activity around the edge of which ocean?

13.Fourth Grade Music
What is the first name of the legendary 18th –century German composer, Beethoven?

14.Fifth Grade History
During the U.S. Civil War, what city in Virginia was the capitol of the Confederacy?

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Triple Firsts in a Double Episode, Part I

Triple Firsts in a Double Episode, Part I by Roxanne McDonald

In the first hour of a double “Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?” ivy leaguer Steve had gone further than any other contestant without using a cheat or save, was only one of three to ever reach the final million-dollar question stage, was the first to break dance for us at the 300,000-dollar mark, and was the first to have us see the million-dollar question with a million dollars on the line.

Here are the questions Steve nailed:

1.Fourth Grade Math
If a car is traveling at 40 mph, how long will it take to go 190 miles?

2.First Grade Animal Science
True or false: The following picture is an image of a dinosaur called the Tyrannosaurus Rex [image shown is of dinosaur on all fours with ridged back, medium snout, and long tail].

3.First Grade English
How many nouns are in the following sentence? “The rabbit ran to the cafeteria and ate a big salad.”

4.Third Grade Math
What unit of measurement is abbreviated “oz.”?

5.Second Grade Health
True or false: the human shoulder is a ball and socket joint.

6.Third Grade Life Science
Which one of these is a mammal?

a. seahorse
b. sea lion
c. sea urchin

7.Second Grade World Geography
Which continent is the least populated?

8.Fourth Grade Social Studies
Since the late 1930s, what calendar date has been designated for the inauguration of a United States president?

9.Fifth Grade Astronomy
In the initials of the federal agency known as NASA, what does the first A stand for?

10.Fifth Grade History
What Revolutionary leader wrote the influential pamphlet, “Common Sense,” in 1776?

11.Final Fifth Grade Question—Astronomy
What was the name of the first satellite put into orbit by the U.S.?

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Foxworthy Still One of the Best Things about Are You Smarter

Foxworthy Still One of the Best Things about “Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?” by Roxanne McDonald

Sure the concept and the questions have that draw, but Foxworthy’s funnies make a collection of titters and giggles ring throughout the stage…making for an uplifting game show-viewing viewing experience.

How delightful it is to hear not only the audience continually laughing but the kids cracking up. It makes for an already interesting game show turned so cheerful that we look forward to the airings just to be uplifted. So how about revisiting those feelings with a recap of the humor (which I would guess is rarely re-capped in isolation—just the humorous comments alone, anyway)?

When contestant Carrie Ann takes a long time on the very first question, he says, “I don’t usually do this, but you can walk away right now with $1,000.”

When Adam is mulling over the “What do plants use in the process known as transpiration—roots; water vapor; or seeds?” question and muses how when people sweat they release water vapor, Foxworthy quips, “We’ve experienced some of that today already.”

When, as contestants often do, Adam repeats the question, Jeff says, “I just asked you that.” Silly, yes, filler, yes, but great fun.

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New Smart Questions Plus Bonus Casting Call Announcement

New Smart Questions Plus Bonus Casting Call Announcement by Roxanne McDonald

I’m a little late with this week’s questions, but not too late to pass on the info about “Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?” announcement calling for next season’s classmates.

Rather than reproduce all the details here, I direct you to Reality TV links—where you can find all of the rules and requirements of a submission video for your fifth grader.

I wasn’t even thinking about how the kids would be cycled through each season, but I will say I will miss this group of bright, funny, and fun fifth graders!

Anyway, I digress.

Here are the questions for the week of April 26th:

Contestant Adam’s questions:

1. First Grade Art
There are three secondary colors—two of them are purple and green. What is the third?

2. First Grade Music
Which of the following instruments is a member of the percussion family? a) viola; b) xylophone; c) bassoon

3. Second Grade Grammar
How many singular nouns are in the following sentence?
“Jeff went to the park to see the flock of seagulls.”

4. Third Grade Geography
True or False? The equator passes through the southern tip of North America.

5. Second Grade Vocabulary

What word that starts with the letter ‘q’ can mean both a spike on a porcupine or a bird feather used as a pen?

6. Third Grade Spelling
How many times does the letter ‘u’ appear in the following phrase?
[Jeff reads aloud] “…the quiet hum of the vacuum.”

7. Fourth Grade Math
What whole number is closest to the square root of 50?

8. Fourth Grade World History
What is the name for the form of picture writing used by the ancient Egyptians?

9. Fifth Grade Science
What do plants use in the process known as transpiration—roots; water vapor; or seeds?

Contestant Carrie Ann’s first questions (to be continued):
10. Second Grade U.S. Geography
In what state is the Lincoln home/national historic site?

11. First Grade Grammar
What word is the subject in the following sentence?
“The spaceship landed in Jacob’s backyard.”

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Alex Alfred Smart Enough to Take the Money…

Alex Alfred Smart Enough to Take the Money…but has to Concede He is not Smarter than a Fifth Grader by Roxanne McDonald

Alfred Alex was the first contestant to go almost all the way—almost becoming the first “Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?” millionaire.

He went almost all the way. He answered two questions with no help (none left) from his classmates. And had he not decided to drop out before the final question, which for fun he answered—correctly—Alex Alfred would have been, as host Jeff Foxworthy said, their first millionaire.

Here are the questions Alex worked his way through:

1. 4TH GRADE U.S. HISTORY
What is the first name of the former U.S. president, Taylor?
2. 1ST GRADE GRAMMAR
What is the root word of the word “longest”?
3. 1ST GRADE U.S. GEOGRAPHY
In terms of land area, what is the smallest U.S. state?
4. 2ND GRADE ANIMAL SCIENCE
How many legs does a butterfly have?
5. 4TH GRADE MATH

What is the numeric value of the Roman numeral L?
6. 3RD GRADE SOCIAL STUDIES
How many justices serve on the United States Supreme Court?
7. 2ND GRADE MEASUREMENTS
If March 1st falls on a Wednesday, on what day of the week does April 1st fall?
8. 5TH GRADE WORLD GEOGRAPHY
The Straight of Magellan runs through the tip of what southern continent?
9. 3RD GRADE ENGLISH
What is the simple past tense of the verb “drink”?
10. 5TH GRADE EARTH SCIENCE
Which element comprises the majority of the earth’s atmosphere?
11. U.S. HISTORY
Who was the first U.S. Secretary of the Treasury?

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They were Smarter than a First Grader This Week

They were Smarter than a First Grader This Week by Roxanne McDonald

Two contestants at least make it through the first grade—even the third.

Nice people, Tim Maxwell and Tracy Bowman. Good sports. And each earned a good paycheck for the hour+ they were on the show, “Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?”

Here are the questions they made it through this week of April 12, 2007:

Tim Maxwell’s questions

1. Third Grade U.S. Geography
What is the capitol of Massachusetts?
2. Second Grade Health
True or False: The small intestine is longer than the large intestine.
3. Third Grade Astronomy
What is another name for the North Star—Alpha Centauri, Polaris, or Sirrus?
4. Third Grade Social Studies
Five of the U.S. federal holidays always fall on what day of the week?
5. First Grade Animal Science

What is the largest animal in the world?
6. Second Grade Social Studies
According to the United States Constitution, the president is part of which of the three branches of government?
7. Fourth Grade Math
The supplementary angle of a forty-degree angle has how many degrees?

Tracy Bowman’s questions

8. Fourth Grade Math
What is the reciprocal of ¾?
9. First Grade Spelling
How many words for the numbers one through ten have five letters?
10.Third Grade U.S. History
In what U.S. state was the Battle of Gettysburg fought?
11.First Grade Earth Science
The period of daylight savings time includes what season?
12.Second Grade Health
Typical people have how many baby teeth as kids—20, 24, or 28?
13.Second Grade Measurements
How many meters in a kilometer?

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Fifth Grade Jokes Still Making Everybody Giggle

Fifth Grade Jokes Still Making Everybody Giggle by Roxanne McDonald

And the giggling kids makes us laugh again.

I am so bummed I missed last week’s [April 5th’s) “Are You Smarter…,” as I watch East Coast times for “Survivor” and/or “Earl” and “The Office,” and save West Coast times for “Are You Smarter…;” and the latter was not on at 8 p.m. last week. So if anybody has the questions, I would love to peek at them, copy them, or have my sanity saved by them.

If anybody recalls the jokes of the delightful down-home boy, Jeff Foxworthy, I would love to hear/read those, too!

Here are some of the Foxworthy funnies I did have the

pleasure of catching this week, April 12, 2007:

When the question was “What is the largest animal in the world?” (a first grade animal science question), Foxworthy said, “I’ll tell you this: none of them are my relatives.”

A lot of people start at the bottom and work their way up. You started with an eight-year-old question…. I’m quite proud of you.

When Tim Maxwell is figuring out the answer to a second-grade question and suggests it’s a “trick” question of sorts, Foxworthy says, “I’ll tell you this: we don’t do trick questions for second graders.

When the true or false question involves whether the small intestine is longer than the large intestine, he teases that we were told that the small intestine could unwind all the way to the moon and back. Alana of course corrects him, saying that is not true!

When Kyle is chosen as a classmate, he asks him how a person catches cooties.

“That’s okay, Tracy, most of my relatives think a kilometer is how many squirrels you run over.”

Then, of my favorite Foxworthy funnies:

“You’re banking five grand on somebody that could be bribed with an ice cream sandwich.”

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Atlanta Analogies and Jokes about De-Nile

Atlanta Analogies and Jokes about De-Nile Make a Silly Game Show Sillier–for the Better, that is by Roxanne McDonald

In especially good humor, Foxworthy makes for a fun episode #106 of “Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?”

He was slick, calm, cool, collected, and cracking wise the whole night through:

He stresses the fact that a contestant has made an impressive choice, saying, “You jumped all the way to the third grade!”

He reminds the player, “You’re banking on someone who might have an imaginary friend.”

When the question involves what the longest river in the world is, and contestant Deborah answers the Nile, he tosses out the familiar, “So you’re not in de-Nile?” Then he adds, “I had to.”

When the question is how many feet are in a mile, and Deborah is taking forever to decide on an answer she is comfortable with (while the fifth graders all answer in a heartbeat), Foxworthy first suggest she “think of a place that you know is a mile…and then count it off in your feet.”
When she finally gets to locking in her answer, he says, “There’s people that run the mile faster than it took you to answer that.”

When the question involves saying how many moons Mars has, Deborah umms and umms some more, then mutters something about how “…Mars is the red planet….” Foxworthy jabs, “If only that was the question.”

Again he brings in the fifth-grade level factor, telling her, “You’re resting your hopes if you’re wrong on someone whose hands probably smell like Play-Dough.”

When the first grade grammar question asks for Deborah to identify the number of proper nouns in the sentence that reads “In Oklahoma, Oprah met our ostrich Ozzie,” Deborah is vacillating over whether Oprah is a proper noun or a pronoun, and Foxworthy quips, “I know it’s a television show.”

And in quintessential southern style, comparing one abstraction to something Southern, blue-collar, everyman, Foxworthy jokes, “You’re changing your mind more than a dog in a fire hydrant factory.”

His jokes, coming more than an angry farmer can swing a possum, make up a large part of what makes “Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?” fun. Again.

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Player Makes Fifth Grade History

Player Makes Fifth Grade History by Roxanne McDonald

“Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?” contestant Pat becomes the first to flunk fifth grade—with a third grade science question.

Poor Pat. He didn’t answer correctly and he didn’t think to use a cheat, a copy, or a save? [Not sure why he couldn’t or didn’t use the save on his very first question; maybe I should have been paying attention!?] And of course they had to make a big deal about Pat being the one to make “Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?” history!

Anyway, here is Pat’s question, followed by the questions for the next contest, Deborah Bassett, who was using the money she won for charitable service!

1.Third Grade Science
What’s the lowest layer of the earth’s atmosphere?
Mesosphere
Thermosphere
Troposphere

2. Fourth Grade U.S. Geography
What is the southernmost U.S. state?

3. Third Grade World Geography
What is the world’s longest river?
4. Second Grade Math
How many feet are in a mile?
5. Fifth Grade Astronomy
The planet Mars has how many moons?
6. First Grade Animal Science
True or false: the koala is a marsupial.
7. First Grade Grammar
How many proper nouns are in the following sentence?
“In Oklahoma, Oprah met our ostrich Ozzie.”
8. Third Grade Math
How many of the interior angles of a Scalene Triangle have the same degrees?
9.Fourth Grade U.S. History
What’s the most common first name among U.S. presidents?

(read more…)

To be Smarter is to Choose Well

To be Smarter is to Choose Well–or Just Do Three and Walk by Roxanne McDonald

Some contestants win big by choosing the right questions and knowing when to “drop out”.

And it seems that one can actually win easy money to boot—all one has to do is answer take the first three questions, use the three helps (cheat, copy, and save), and drop out of school…with what? 50k? Of course, most have that hunger for money triggering their moving forward….

This week brought more questions that stumped adults far removed from fifth grade. It also featured a contestant who started hard—by choosing to answer the hardest questions first, then saving the easier ones for the final stretch. But still she dropped out of school—on first grade questions!

Here are the questions and answers Avis and Ebony get:

Ebony takes two more questions:

1. Third Grade Geography
True or False: North America is in the Eastern Hemisphere.
2.Fifth Grade Algebra
If Y=3X and 3X= 12, then what number does Y equal?

Avis is then the new contestant:
3.Third Grade Astronomy
On which planet would a person weight the most?
4.Second Grade Social Studies
Which U.S. president is featured on the face of the nickel?
5.Fourth Grade Math

If the diameter of a circle is 4”, then what is the radius?
6.Fifth Grade U.S. Geography
True or False: Ohio shares a border with Illinois.
7.Fifth Grade Science
Density describes the mass of an object divided by what?
8.Fourth Grade Grammar
What is the adverb in the following sentence?
“My father snored loudly and it kept my mom awake.”
9.First Grade Spelling
[Foxworthy asks aloud] How many letters in the animal, yak?
10.Third Grade Animal Science
A giant panda’s natural habitat is on what continent?
11.Second Grade Math?
How many months of the year have 31 days?
12.First Grade World Geography
What is the only continent that is also a country?

(read more…)

Foxworthy Funnies

Foxworthy Funnies by Roxanne McDonald

It’s a helluva way to recap, maybe, but what’s the protocol for a game show recap, anyway?

It is clear the game show and now the reality show routes are being trod by the best of comics as hosts. Any evidence “Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?” will stand the test of travel time likely rests, then, not only in the concept of the show overall but in the jokes Foxworthy delivers—jokes that even and especially the fifth graders love. In fact, when Foxworthy asks one fifth grader, Kyle, if he could trade places with any one famous person, Kyle answers, “You. I think you’re really funny.”

Kyle’s right, even if he was prompted in advance.

When Foxworthy reads Sam the question, what is the heaviest land animal? He quips that, by the way, “it’s not your mother-in-law.”

During one particularly tense moment, Foxworthy notes how Sam is shakin’…”shakin’ like a cricket in a [shoe?] convention.”

When Spencer is called to be Sam’s classmate, he asks Sam how tall he is. Sam answers he’s six-two. Foxworthy tells Sam Spencer wants to be seven-two, and then turns to Spencer and says, “You know, when you’re seven-two, you’re gonna have really big feet: you’re gonna have to go outside to turn around.”

When Sam wrongly answers which state is furthest west [California, Alaska, or Nevada], saying California, Sam has to rely on his classmate for the right answer. Foxworthy snipes, “You just got saved by somebody who wears superhero underwear.”
The kids are funny in their own right. As the show opens and the fifth graders are seen arriving and putting their backpacks and book bags in their cubicles, I think I saw Kyle toss his in the bushes. And when Spencer is called to be the helping classmate, Foxworthy asks him what he does when he is not in school, and he answers that he “picks up girls.”

Not only are they smart, they have the makings of future Foxworthys. Something to be proud of, really.

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