Dress and Seamstress to Impress
Dress and Seamstress to Impress by Roxanne McDonald
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Emphasizing assets (er, external ones, of course) is again the running theme of “Beauty and the Geek,” episode 6—though this time more appealing to the geeks, who get to be immersed in comic book hero glory. |
After the geeks dress to impress (in the traditional makeover scene that’s so fun to watch), the beauties highlight their
best physical attributes (what else?) by way of superhero costume and accent (which is, well, not all that exciting, unfortunately). Beauty invents and models/presents. Geek constructs by sewing (gluing, etc.).
Shay becomes Steam, who can’t explain her backstory or her gifts, so we just have to rely on the mini-clothes look and wait a few beats till she’s done.
Erin morphs into Aqualita Splash, who doesn’t seam to have much power beyond that she takes from her “top dolphins” who are doing research? Okay.
Jasmine stretches her creative wit to come up with Princess Bedhead. Her power is that of sleep. Okay, hers is the most original presentation and while not necessarily well-thought out, is certainly quick with the yes-responses to the Comic-Con judges [Eric Powell, Dwight T. Albatross, Brian Lynch, and Chris Ryall] that makes them titter like mad.
Will Appear on TV for Food
Will Appear on TV for Food by Roxanne McDonald
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We all get that many reality TV contestants audition in hopes of landing more than a seasonal contract. So how promotional for the models, for example, is a show like “Beauty and the Geek”? |
I just got curious when I was skimming the Wikipedia pages on “Beauty and the Geek” and saw so many
individual modeling webpage links that I almost forgot what the show is really—in my opinion—about.
That is, as I was checking for birthdates so I could explore astrological compatibility (for what I think is a much more interesting article), I was instead distracted by the number of “beauties” furthering the marketing of their “model” looks. So, out of even further curiosity, I thought I’d look into who has done what or made it where after [and because of?] “Beauty and the Geek.”
What the Beauties Have Gotten Out of the Show
First, some have put more into the show than they have gotten out of it, so far:
The first-ever (season 4) male beauty (which I still says is debatable), Sam Horrigan, arrived on the set with a legion of listings already, so Sam gets the trophy for making obvious the reality TV star factor. “Beauty and the Geek” is obviously another notch on his marginal stardom belt.
Hollie Winnard (season 4) has also come not as a complete unknown but as one with the indicators ablazing: she has appeared as the suicide girl in Death Plots (2005); as the virgin in Hoodoo for Voodoo (2006); as Tanya in All Wrapped Up (2007); and as Dominatrix in the yet to show Zombies! Zombies! Zombies! (2007).
So much for actors or wannabe actors mixing in with common folk on reality TV competitions, following in the footsteps of the dude (forgettable) who was an actor who made it onto “Survivor”—though not for long.
Amanda Hanshaw, the first in season 4 to go home (along with partner, Tony Tran), also has quite a repertoire going. Among dozens of honorifics, Hanshaw was Cherished Beauty, IMI Talent, and Haines Girl; has been Miss Jack Daniels and Miss Corona (2006); and has a portfolio layout complete with a stunning body shot (no pun intended) at OneModelPlace.com. I liked Amanda, so I won’t rag on her gig-grubbing efforts.
Erin Schneider and Jasmine Moore also have MySpace pages, though they are set to private and I could care less whether this is to build suspense about season 4 of B and the G or keep results secret or whatever.
Absolutely Lovin the Geeks
Absolutely Lovin’ the Geeks by Roxanne McDonald
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The beauties, or one beauty in particular…, not so much. |
At least not the male “beauty” who is not all that great to look at, relatively speaking.
So many of us had been calling out for a line-up of female geeks and male beauties. And so many of us love “Beauty and the Geek” that we faithfully follow each season and were intrigued with and grateful for the twist that we had been crying for, as it were. Ashton Kutcher and producers, kudos!But, guys, could you have at least used a better looking guy beauty? Sam? Ick.
Beauty and the Geek Penultimate Episode Doubly Sad
Beauty and the Geek Penultimate Episode (#6) Doubly Sad by Roxanne McDonald
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Not only is the show ending too soon but lovers on opposing teams have to say goodbye. |
I still can’t stand Cecille. And look closely, folks, is she a beauty or is there something a bit too deformed about her?
Okay, maybe it’s the attitude that is so entitled, so self-righteous, so…well, ugly. She scoffed all through the penultimate episode of Beauty and the Geek. She insisted that one should always sacrifice utility [though she of course didn’t use such a word] for looking good—insisting on dressing up for a dirty and demanding ranch jobs
competition. She announced that all the guys and the other remaining beauties had changed, while she was the same. And she was outed as one whom nobody likes! [Scooter aptly announced this in interview.]Okay, now that I got that last crack at the anti-beauty in there….
There is another beauty we wanted to win: JennyLee. Sure, she had her doltish moments. She also offered Beauty and the Geek viewers some of the most endearing moments of any episode. JennyLee and Nate hit it off. They became close. They kissed. They were competing, however, as opponents, Nate teamed up with the beast Cecille and JennyLee paired from the start with the recalcitrant Niels.
And you could tell that for no other motive than getting close, JennyLee was showing interest in and connecting with the funnyman brainiac Nate. I mean, she couldn’t win any dough by seducing him. She wasn’t, I infer and assume, trying to get the attention of a Hollywood VIP to sign her up for any future gigs. And she doesn’t seem to have a cruel bone in her beautiful body, leaving the sadistic let’s-tease-the-geek mentality to someone like Cecille.
So it was sad—or, as Nate said, tragic—to have to say goodbye to JennyLee when in the sixth final elimination round she and Neils lost to Cecille and Nate by one question.
It was sad to realize the show goes so quickly: despite that time is relative and all that hoo-hah, other reality TV shows do last longer and do not necessarily bring on bouts of depression as they end.
And it was hideous how the self-indulgent, self-involved CC inappropriately responded to the parting reality: as Mike Richards notified Neils his wrong answer put the pair out of the competition, and as the faces of three of them fell, the queen of posturing put her fat little fist on her hip and announced without a hint of remorse how “You can take the blond to the ranch, but you can’t take the bikini off the blond…and that was our major focus going into [this] tonight. We love it, we worked hard, we studied hard.”
The camera panned to Nate, who was ashen, then to JennyLee, who in all her dignity and pristine charm was so mortified she could only tear up, shake her head, and mouth how she felt sick, then aloud how she was sorry but that was “inappropriate”. Absolutely right, friend.
Battling Beauties and Gracious Geeks—Special Moments and Musings
Battling Beauties and Gracious Geeks—Special Moments and Musings by Roxanne McDonald
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I’ll abstain from giving a full recap and just recount some special moments in Beauty and the Geek. |
I’ll leave the full (and most thorough) recapping to the funnier writers like Logan Huffmanron and others at Reality TV Calendar, and instead propose another look at the cutest, funniest, and more endearing (or at least engaging) moments, comments, and contestants as they appeared on episode four of Beauty and the Geek. I will even spare the lengthy here and just list, comment upon, or grunt at….
1. When Nate and Cecille return as victors from the Elimination Room and everyone screams and cheers for Nate like he’s Norm from “Cheers”, but completely ignore Cecille. Now that was harsh.
2. Megan interviewing how all that thinking and studying, all that brain activity, poor thing, is wearing on her [and therefore how she will welcome a sandy-ego excursion—
which she thinks is a vacation/reward…heh-heh].
3. When, after host Mike Richards informs the girls they will be studying waves, air waves, Megan interviews how her knowledge falls far short while her use of electronics is prolific, especially with her fav…wait, she catches herself….
4. Geek analogies and metaphors—like the one Nate uses to describe his fitness status: he says he is like a bottle of spoiled milk, all chunky and white…. Wow. Quite an image, Nate, but most original nonetheless.
5. The inevitability of at least one geek getting car sick.
6. Another analogy of sorts: Drew impressing upon Erin how infrequently he works out, saying that the last time he did so, Bill Clinton was president [and of course, Star Wars was big].
7. A similar comfort with exercise/working out: when Cecille takes the funniest geek ever to the weight room to start what will be his own version of a workout session lead by him (the competition requires each geek to run a session), Nate points to what he calls heavy-looking things—weights/dumbbells.
8. Another moment indicative of geek/work-out familiarity: Mario bouncing rather than of course appropriately using the giant work-out ball.
9. How Niels insists on defying the frustrated Jennylee. Again.
(read more…)
You’ve Heard the Term “Airheads”? Beauty & the Geek Episode Two Has Plenty of Them
You’ve Heard the Term “Airheads”? Beauty & the Geek Episode Two Has Plenty of Them by Roxanne McDonald
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The second installment of “Beauty & the Geek” was most entertaining, with the boys having to learn social skills and the girls learning about aeronautics and both agreeing there’s a need for much more. |
“Astronomics?” Asks one beauty, “Is that what it is?” “Aeronautics! I don’t know anything about it, but I do know I’m a member of the mile-high club,” quips another. Keep studying, girls.
Some don’t do so badly on the challenge—which, though they do not know when they are given magazines to study will be a test of their tour guide abilities…in a space museum: the California Science Center Air & Space Museum. One beauty announces that the Wright Brothers designed the
supersonic bomber. Another is asked by the test professor how the aircraft is controlled and she shrugs that it has something to do with the brakes, of course. Another says the helicopter there was Chuck Yeager’s X-1. Yet another says that the Viking Lander was the first to land on the moon, no wait, Mercury, no…Mars! Ahhh. So proud she was to have gotten it.
Sheree and Nadia are quite well studied, and Nadia wins the challenge.
Not that Nadia needed the win: earlier that day the geeks were admonished about “paying attention” to women. They were given Cosmo magazines and later sent to a studio to sketch a woman, who was nude and chatty as hell. Most go nuts trying to catch their breath, first, then attempting to render her beautiful bod on paper (Pi ending up with one giant breast and tiny stick men orbiting it/her).
But Mario gets it, and a few torturous minutes into the sitting, he realizes the chatty model is doing so for a reason…and he stops sketching to listen to what she is saying about movies and names and all. He wins the challenge—which was NOT to draw but to pay attention.
Beauty & the Geek 3, Episode 1: Is DeNile a River???
Beauty & the Geek 3, Episode 1: Is DeNile a River??? by Roxanne McDonald
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The right beauty was eliminated, but regrets go to losing geeky Sanjay so early. |
The long awaited (for some of us) third installment of “Beauty & the Geek” began with a promise of good interpersonal dynamics. Oh, why be so polite, or technical: looks like some good tantrums are in the making. In fact, we have witnessed our first already.
The geeks and beauties arrive at the mansion, are paraded past one another as they are ushered into segregated rooms—the beauties seated in the den with their backs to the door and the geeks are sent to the study. Then, one at a time, a geek is sent in to “introduce” himself, or his voice, and is asked a question or two by an interested beauty.
As part of the new introduction/ selection format, the beauty who decides on the announcing geek enters the study and introduces herself, answering any questions or prompts with an expected doi or duh—such as when Andrea (I think) is asked which of two state teams she likes better and she responds, “There are two teams?” to silent stares in return. Or better, when Mario pulls a synesthetic test on Cecille by asking her if she is a red state or blue state and she answers how she is from California, so she is “Golden State”…which disgusts Mario to the point of saying to the others how he definitely does not want her.
The geeks and beauties get their pairing accomplished, and before the first challenge are proposed the opportunity to get out now: host Mike Richards prompts each team to hold a baton; then, as he ups the offer of $5k to $10k, then 15k, then 20k, says that whichever team partners mutually agree to drop their baton they can walk now with the money. Some shake, some shake their heads, and one, Tori, starts to cry a little…but no one takes the offer.
Challenge one sees the beauties finding three books using the Dewey Decimal System at the McFaddin Library, and the geeks, once their matches complete the grueling task and pass off the corresponding task cards, have to do a three-part socializing challenge: 1) get a stranger to stop and rub sunscreen on their backs; 2) get one phone number; and 3) borrow a cell phone.
Cecille finishes first for her gender. Tori is last—maybe in part because she spends her time yapping about not being able to find the books instead of looking.
Nate is also first in his gender’s challenge(s), so Cecille and Nate get to evade elimination.
The next challenge involves the geeks doing stand-up at the Laugh Factory—most of which is terribly un-funny, though Pi is adorable (again) and Mario is engaging, with Nate once again showing up the other brainiacs…getting 86% of the votes.
The beauties also get challenged in a performance, doing a televised interview with guest Stephen Dubner, the co-author of the book the beauties were evidently supposed to have read, Freakonomics.
Oh, that’s what these books were for? You can just hear their interior monologue wailing….Sam Reuben and Anna Chavez, seasoned anchors, judge the girls, most of whom fail to ask any substantive questions, fail to pull off the reading of the tele-prompt, and even fail to pronounce words like “enigmatic” so often that when one beauty finally gets it, Chavez burst out in exclamation her delight.
If it’s on Your Radar: Beauty and the Geek 3 is Coming Soon to the CW!
If it’s on Your Radar: Beauty and the Geek 3 is Coming Soon to the CW! by Roxanne McDonald
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CW teasers for “Beauty and the Geek” 3 offer info, knowledge, the knowledgeable…and a look at the luscious who are at a lack for all of the aforementioned. |
The teaser preview finally aired, advertising the long-awaited third season of “Beauty and the Geek”—the show named “the ultimate sex experiment” by producers Ashton Kutcher and Nick Santora (or Jason Goldberg?) and BG staff will premiere with a two-hour episode on January 3, 2007 on the CW.
In the trailer, a brainiac is explaining what the acronym R.A.D.A.R stands for—Radio Detection and Ranging. The beauty is very seriously taking in this new and apparently astounding information, then says to her partnered one how she is curious, then, what the “I” stands for…. LOLOLOL. Are we in for some good, challenging, ridiculous, and righteous dynamics.
According to Reality TV World, Wikipedia, and others (though why not according to CW I still can’t figure out—not being able to find “Beauty and the Geek” info on
the CW site, and I AINT no beauty, so I don’t believe it is my surfing skills 
—the new cast has been revealed. Here are the beauties and the geeks, listed separately (SPOILER INFO of sorts):The Beauties (in alphabetical order, since I can manage that much):
Andrea is a 23-year-old student/bartender, from Kansas City, Missouri;
Cecille is a 27-year-old bikini model, originally from Santa Cruz, Califonia and now living in Beverly Hills, California;
Erin is a 25-year-old model/voice teacher, who is originally from Chicago, Illinois and is now living in Mt. Prospect, Illinois;
Jennylee is a 22-year-old model/Ultimate Fighting Championship ring girl in Sherman Oaks, California;
Megan is a 25-year-old model/Playboy cybergirl, originally from Boca Raton, Florida and currently hailing from Chicago, Illinois;
Nadia is a 25-year-old bartender/model from Chicago, Illinois who lives in Burr Ridge, Illinois;
Sheree is a 27-year-old [former] Hooters waitress, originally from Live Oak, Florida and now living in Fort Lauderdale, Florida; and
Tori is a 25-year-old model from Elk Grove, Illinois who now lives in Los Angeles, California.
The Geeks:
Alan, aka “Scooter”, is a 23-year-old receptionist from Helena, Montana who graduated from Harvard University with a degree insocial anthropology and who “can recite around five digits of pi”.
Drew, a 21-year-old originally from Brookfield, Illinois and now living in Milwaukee, Illinois is a Trekker, a student at Marquette University, and one who “enjoys ‘celebrating [his] Polish heritage.’”
Mario, a 25-year-old writer who owns “over 25,000 comic books” and wants to be a comic book writer, is originally from Bridgeport, West Virginia and now lives in Shadyside, Ohio.
Matt, a 22-year-old from Goldens Bridge, New York and now living in Boston, Massachusetts, is an MIT graduate and winner of MIT’s 2004 Pi Recitation Contest who spends his time working on “‘relevant applied math problems in industry.’”
Nathan, or Nate, originally from Evergreen, Colorado and currently hailing from Cambridge, Massachusetts, is a 21-year-old Harvard University student, comedian, and lead singer of So Long Princess, a Star Wars music band.
Niels, a 25-year-old electrical engineering PhD student at University of California, Berkeley, and a professional dating coach, is from Silver Spring, Maryland, where he got a “perfect SAT score in high school.”
Piao is a 25-year-old tax accountant from Kissimmee, Florida, who currently hails from Washington, DC, with a history of having kissed only one girl and “almost [getting] trampled standing in line for Playstation 3.”
Sanjay, a 24-year-old virgin who majored in computer engineering and biology at University of California at Irvine and Los Angeles, currently hails from Westminster, California, where he is a medical student.
Also revealed are the partnerships, listed as follows, so STOP READING if you want to be surprised by who chooses whom to team up with:
***SPOILER INFO FOLLOWS***
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