New York Talks Herself Right out of Flava’s Favor
New York Talks Herself Right out of Flava’s Favor by Roxanne McDonald
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We saw it coming, the mouth from the south (or north) made one too many blunders in front of “her man”. |
New York’s (Tiffany’s) presence on The Flavor of Love was unnerving to the other girls vying for Flava Flav’s love. Her comments and cocky, hoity toity attitude drove everyone nuts, despite how they made for great TV. And as many of us suspected (or hoped), her coo-coo manner was revealed to Flav, making him decide that her time was up.
As one betting on Delishis, I still was delighted by the progression of New York’s mania, misanthropy, and mealy mouthing.
She was creative in her slams, was tendentious in her duplicity, and gave us all a few thrills when she would do her commentary to the interview cams, announcing her superiority, denouncing the rights of other women to be in da house, and posturing as the ultimate Flava babe.
New York gave us some most incriminating dialogue. My favorites include, for example, how when she was preparing for her final night with Flav (in the final episode, “Flav Belize in Love”) and was gathering her purse and smokes and whathaveyou to walk out the door, she zinged [to Delishis], “I left my razor on the sink so you can shave your mustache….”
Whether these nasty comments were for the camera and audience’s benefit or not, many of us found ourselves first laughing (out of shock, I imagine) then hoping that the gentle and dignified Delishis would “win”. Not that Delishis couldn’t hold her own: at a breakfast or lunch in the shared housing quarters the day before, New York started in with her holier-than-all other girls shtick, trying her psyching out strategies, saying how she took such great pleasures in abusing Delishis, in taking out her aggressions and anger on her. New York also pointedly remarks how she is there because she authentically loves Flav while Delishis is there because, New York insists, she is a “money-grubber”.
Delishis very calmly responds that New York must not know about her baby’s father…who has “money on top of money on top of money.” This of course does not work to shut New York up, maybe because she doesn’t get what Delishis is implying, and so she continues to harass and harangue. So Delishis just calls her Whitney Houston—which does seem to at least slow the mouth down for a bit.
Flava Flav’s Women–of Questionable Taste?
Flava Flav’s Women–of Questionable Taste? by Roxanne McDonald
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So the final girls in contest for The Flavor of Love are [and/or were] questionably ill-fit, or underrated, or unexpectedly perfect for the man who has mad skills, mad amounts of money, and a mad need for a true partner. |
Krazy is not a negative kind of crazy but a likely contestant for American Idol who missed the audition calls and figured Flavor of Love would do.
Bootz is beautiful, tells it like it is, and continued to stay in Flavor’s favor, despite how she has refused to sleep with him until marriage (theirs or ?), though she finally had to learn her “time was up.”
Buckeey is [or was, boohoo] the top to Flav’s occasional bottom. In the bowling alley on their date, as they kiss and embrace, Buckeey commands him to grab her booty, and as he does as he is told, admits to her he loves a woman who tells her man what to do. She didn’t make time the way she should have, fighting with Krazy till she pushed a bit too far and too hard.
Delishis is not
as aggressive as Bootz toward her man (or as antagonistic with the other girls), but she holds her own and he shows authentic affection for her, just as she shows real motives for being there.
And New York is, well, out of control. She over (or under) dresses, over drinks, smokes, overexaggerates, overdramatizes, and…you get the idea. She is hell-bent on landing her true love, who just so happened to boot her ass out in the last season, and she is glad to start fights, engage in fights, and set others up for fights.
At the same time, Flava Flav is growing on those of us viewers who first might have discounted the whole Flavor of Love endeavor, and in his picked-out hair or non-pimpster/ganster outfits, seems a decent guy who isn’t all that bad looking or bad acting.
Flava Flav!! Workin’ the Love Machine
Flava Flav!! Workin’ the Love Machine by Roxanne McDonald
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Okay, so I was pretty sure that the celebreality TV show genre would bring us as close to RUNNING MAN attitudes as we would witness them in our lifetime. But some shows have accelerated this game show genre, putting it almost over the top. I’m just sayin’ … The Flavor of Love is certainly unique, certainly meets the criteria for television that is appealing, but is also whack. (Does anyone say that anymore?) Flavor of Love is The Bachelor with a “straight-up”, hip-hop “ghetto” rap turbo engine drivin’ it smack into the twenty-second century. |
Okay, so the bachelor (Flava Flav) does the dinner date, gondola ride, berry-pickin’ thing. He brings on the champagne. He works to get a connection with the contestants so he can find a partner. But Flava Flav adds a unique panache to the episodes/moments: he eats a giant lobster at that dinner that is way bigger than his head; he drinks and toasts with that champagne but also dumps it in dribbles on his plush carpet, in honor of the eliminated girls (the ones for whom “time’s up”); he does a lot of grab-ass and bedroom time, using the willingness of the girls to entertain, kiss, and be his queen as the measuring device that will help him decide who gets a Flava Flav clock (the emblem of his performer royalty in the form of giant bling hanging from a thick-ass rope).
Oh, yeah. Flav also renames all the girls–
from Jasmine to Payshintz, Tarasha to Bamma, Britney to Tiger, Tykeisha to Somethin’, Betty to Nibblz, from Darra to Like Dat. They’re his pets, his girlz, and he makes it known he is the man (or the “king”).
He gives private camera time, reporting on the happenings (one girl, for instance, poops on his stairs – though not out of spite but emergency) and his responses (giggles and comments on how he is tryin’ to “git past” all that, for example).
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