Continued Kudos to Top Rahman

Continued Kudos to Top Rahman by Roxanne McDonald

It was no secret Rock was a top contender for “Hell’s Kitchen.”

Okay. Now that I can talk about the winner without ruining

the fun for followers and fans [since it was leaked in, like, the first week that Rock had won], I can also join the thousands of Rock fans in congratulating him.

The latter part of that—how many people adore the definitive and deliberate champion of the kitchen—was also no secret. Washington Informer feature writer Sonsyrea Tate Montgomery witnessed as finale fans, for instance, crowded the Union Station restaurant B. Smith’s, where Rock is executive chef, to cheer Rock on as the pre-taped finale played.

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Bonnie Muirhead Wins One

Bonnie Muirhead Wins One by Roxanne McDonald

She wins the final challenge, as Rock stays cool and says he would rather win the service.

In the penultimate episode of “Hell’s Kitchen,” the two remaining chefs, Bonnie Muirhead and Rock Harper go head to head in the non-elimination challenge of the day—to win over

seven of Las Vegas’ finest with a signature dish.

The moment is torturous, as each expert deliberates over Bonnie’s shrimp and lobster pasta and Rock’s fried chicken and crab cake appetizer:

Sean Griffin, Executive Chef, Caesar’s Palace: Bonnie
Gerald Chin, Executive Chef, MGM: Rock
Anthony Carron, Executive Chef, Michael Media Group: Bonnie
Robin Leach, “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous” Host who has dined in over 17,00 restaurants around the world: Bonnie
Michael Wray, Season 1 “Hell’s Kitchen” Winner: Rock
Heather West, Season 2 “Hell’s Kitchen” Winner: Rock

Tie-breakers: Chris Fearnow and Bob Finch, Green Valley Resort General Manager and Head Chef: Bonnie

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Elimination the Great Equalizer

Elimination the Great Equalizer: Jen Leaves Right behind the One She Insulted Earlier by Roxanne McDonald

Jen Yemola goes the way of the one she had so regarded her inferior.

Remember when Jen repeatedly noted how Julia was “just” a fry cook? Uh-huh. Well, she may have gotten a kind word

from Ramsay, but Jen got no cooking school support as she too got the boot.

Not that I begrudge any talent the pleasures and privileges of winning, but I am only human and that cruel better-than ego had to get a knock back from or into reality.

And not that making hasty generalizations will do any of us any good, but did you, too, note how like a couple of other reality competitions (such as “Sheer Genius”), the winner of a morning challenge has gotten the send-off by the next night?

Jen, Bonnie, and Rock met with the challenge to come up with a gourmet remake (also a déjà vu moment, as “Top Chef” uses this particular challenge, too) of a comfort food [Chef Ramsay’s is displayed by Mum Rams: mac and cheese], which would be judged by some VERY SPECIAL guests—while we are pret-ty sure it will be either the former cheftestants or family members, they later find out…, their own mums!

Jen drew the fried chicken card and turned it (the dish concept, not the card) into fried chicken roulade stuffed with spinach, goat cheese, and crab.

Rock drew spaghetti and meatballs and turned out a trio of pastas: chorizo, pork, and veal spaghetti dishes.

Bonnie had drawn the franks and beans card, took what appeared to be one fifth of time deciding on an appropriate revamp, and ended up creating instead of recreating, I suppose, an “Italian version” with leek sauce and bruschetta?
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What a Way to Go

What a Way to Go by Roxanne McDonald

Generic Image Table - Insert 3 or more sentences here so it looks nice like my postsOne chef booted in the middle of a dinner service, another booted but offered the rare (or, rather, never-before on H’s K offered) opportunity of sponsorship at culinary school.

This blog article is dedicated to Julia Williams.

Bittersweet elimination of Julia, my favorite, my hopeful. And she won the morning challenge: to cook a fabulous dish for

the “trend-setters, those with their fingers on the pulse— Alhambra High School students.
During elimination, though (with Bonnie for the first time getting high praise for having her best “spot on” night so far and getting the privilege of nominating two), Julia was dismissed. But not with the usual vitriol from Chef Ramsay. Instead, here is what Ramsay did and said, how he conducted what was for him a most difficult elimination:

Bonnie put Rock up for his temper and Julia up for having had difficulties with garnish. Bonnie’s thinking (I think) was that while she wanted three girls in the finals, she had to put up two people and only Rock remained for the guys’ side. Rock’s anger and fighting with Jen would trump Julia’s difficulty with garnish, and Rock would be sent home. (SPOILER INFO ABOUT TO BE MUTTERED HERE…. (read more…)

Separating the Chefs from the Donkeys

Separating the Chefs from the Donkeys by Roxanne McDonald

Installment seven identifies the donkeys and the darlings, and redeems Chef Ramsay with some good old-fashioned male bonding.

For a minute, anyway.

I know I suggested that the female favoritism was inevitable when it came to the photo shoot as a reward for winning a challenge, but I now reserve the right to either change my mind or shift focus to how Chef Ramsay gave the boys a

fighting chance:

Team Challenge

Ramsay tells the teams they have 30 minutes to turn leftovers into something fabulous.

The girls take too much time deciding what to make. The boys are on a rail.

APPETIZER

For the Red Team, Bonnie offers tomato soup…, I mean “Rustic Chicken Stew”.
For the Blue Team, Brad offers Curried Bass and Crustacean Tomato Pasta. [Okay, true, there is no subscript identifying what each chef announces, but I swear I am not making this up.]

Chef R gives each team a point.

ENTRÉE #1

For the Red Team, Jen offers steak and eggs, minus the fancy title.
For the Blue Team, Josh offers pea tendril-stuffed chicken legs.

Chef R. is appalled Jen took thirty minutes for steak and eggs (when she took way more with her team trying to decide, when she was part of the problem vetoing every idea, and when she would prefer to blame it on Bonnie).

Chef R. also expresses displeasure with Josh’s dish, tasting it and issuing an “ooph”: the food is too acidic. [Gotta remember grandma’s vinegar and sugar secrets for cutting that bitter, Josh.]

No points for you, Rams tells both B and J.

ENTRÉE #2

For the Red Team, Julia offers deep-fried sea bass and “chips”. [Oh, Julia, not another fried fare: you know Rams is watching like a cougar on his ledge.]

For the Blue Team, Rock offers pan-seared bass and ribeye, a.k.a. Surf ‘n Turf.

Ramsay says Julia’s is nice, but just plain ol’ fish n chips. He tells Rock his is nice, very nice, delicious, and gives the Blue Team the winning point.

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Is That You Screaming or Just Releasing Air?

Is That You Screaming or Just Releasing Air? by Roxanne McDonald

Cooking the live lobsters was one thing, but the outcome of the cookoff challenge a whole nother thing.

I was going to go into the ongoing debate about what is involved in cooking live lobsters—how one side says that we are dropping living creatures into boiling water, and it takes

minutes for them to die, suffering in the meantime; the other side saying the scream is just air releasing, that lobsters die instantly in such hot water, etc..

But Bonnie’s reticence to “take responsibility for killing” is eclipsed by Rock’s [I think justified] angry response to the outcome of the morning’s cooking challenge:

That is, I’m thinking Rock’s response was 1) justified, but 2) actually less intense than it should have been and displaced in terms of logistics….

Okay: The challenge is a creative one, says Chef R., for to be a success as a chef, you have to be a success with your ingredients, he explains. Unveiling the lobster tank, he describes the challenge: Josh will sit out, each of the two teams will have three chefs, one from each team doing 1) salad; 2) app; or 3) entrée…using the lobster.

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Right Little Bitch Turned Right Out

Right Little Bitch Turned Right Out by Roxanne McDonald

Did we think Melissa would make it on her looks alone, as she suggested always happens? Did we expect her to get all power-crazy and get her bossy butt mutinied right off the team? Worse yet, did we expect she would be up for elimination, would be called out by Chef Ramsey, and would be turned out…not of the Hell’s Kitchen but to the Blue team?

I don’t know what I expected from Chef Ramsey with regards to booting the foxy one out of his kitchen, but along with his suggestion that she had turned into a “right little bitch,” it

would have been good if he had told her to do something with that mop of hair.
What the hell? Even those “fry cooks” and pot washers you turned your nose up at, Melissa, know enough to put the hair back when you are around food. And not only was it down, it was all frumpy and flyaway. Damn.

Okay, enough with the pecuniary. I leave that to Chef Rams.

In the Dorms

Thanks to the pedestrian miracle of editing, we suspect that the Blue team is going to take at least one victory tonight, as the episode (5) opens with Rock, Brad, and Josh discussing how they haven’t won anything, how they are down in the numbers, and how they are still all a team who must rock the game harder now.

Bonnie speaks to how there is an elephant in the room; and Melissa says Bonnie is a failure waiting to happen. [Good thing this isn’t a Greek tragedy, Mel.]

In the Challenge

Commanded to get into SUVs, Josh relates the boys’ relief—for they haven’t seen the sun in a long time.

Chef Ramsey announces a first-time Hell’s Kitchen special event: a wedding reception. The teams will first each prepare three sample dishes for the bride- and groom-to-be: one appetizer; one meat dish; one fish dish. They will have $100, a half hour to shop, and one hour to prepare/cook. Starting to sound more like Top Chef, here…, but only for a minute.

Much worse performance-wise is the “team” effort.

APPETIZER
Red Team: puff pastry with melted cheese and fresh strawberry
Blue Team: fresh Dungeness crab salad
Blue scores one.

FISH DISH
Red Team: fresh sea bass with collard greens cured in bacon
Blue Team: fresh sea bass with vegetable foam sauce (did they conjur Marcel for this?)
Red scores one.

MEAT DISH
Blue Team: dry-aged ribeye, pan-seared and served with wild mushroom cream sauce
Red Team: a stark shite plate with a hunk of dried up duck. No sauce, no side, no garnish.
Blue wins.

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Enough to Make You Domino Vomit

Enough to Make You Domino Vomit by Roxanne McDonald

…And make you realize you’re in Hell!

Uhhh, did you not read the signs?

Anyway, I was thinking as I readied myself for “Hell’s Kitchen” episode 4 that the best way to recap is to be brief, to succinctly report what typically happens on the show

using a handy template, as follows:

Somebody complains.
Somebody backstabs somebody else.
Ramsay shakes his head left to right in disgust.
Vinnie goes off and then Ramsay goes off on Vinnie.
Jen is warned to stay away from the bins tonight; Vinnie is told he and the chef will need to get together with a box of Quaaludes; and all remaining cheftestants are reminded they have a lot to learn.

Team Challenge
Julia and Brad are up first for a palate test. Those watching scoff. Chef Ramsay scoffs. Julia and Brad each correctly identify two of three foods.

Bonnie and Josh get fitted with their deprivation gear, but Bonnie says she can hear. She also answers after adjustments are made, so the conspiracy theories begin…and continue after she nails all three items, identifying them in the same exact language Ramsay had announced them to us.

Red: 5; Blue: 3

It’s up to Vinnie. Groan.

Blue loses…again.

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Fight or Flight for the Chefs of Hell’s Kitchen

Fight or Flight for the Chefs of Hell’s Kitchen by Roxanne McDonald

Attempts to proudly serve those who serve us segue into fights over leadership, more underestimation calls, and one fallen linesman.

And Chef Ramsey barking out and over those orders all the way.

You always suspect, but you know it’s gonna be good when the episode starts with a fight. Josh and Rock are arguing over who wants to be and who is better fit for being Blue Team leader.

Julia, on the flip side, is talking about how she feels like she is the underdog, and while she wants to win, she knows she has a lot to learn.

After only a few hours of sleep, evidently, the teams are awakened by a special reveille, a wake-up call by the army and navy—those who will be getting the breakfast the chefs have to serve.

Believing in never leaving anyone behind, Rock and Brad help Aaron get dressed…literally. This is a quick foreshadowing, folks, if we didn’t catch that of last week’s.

Ramsey sets the theme/tone for the day, saying that he was utterly disappointed by the previous service performances. Nothing was consistent, and none of them worked together. This is why, he says, for the first time, Hell’s Kitchen will serve breakfast…to some of “America’s finest.” Pause for misty moment.

Julia appropriately responds by getting teary eyed and saying she is honored; and Joanna gets excited in another cliché way…gushing how she just loves men in uniform.

Cluck.

Red will cook for Army; Blue will cook for Navy.
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Give an Unstable Chef a Boning Knife

Give an Unstable Chef a Boning Knife by Roxanne McDonald

And you still have to put up with him crying, swaying into a faint, and leaving bones in the sole big enough to choke Hell’s Kitchen right out of business.

Eddie goes home instead of Aaron—you know, the %##@ cowboy who sobs when spoken to, goes AWOL often, and then returns to introduce himself to the diners as if he were, describes Ramsay, the president of the United States of America…right before he bones the Dover Sole that leaves several diners complaining of remaining bones.

The way the promos for “Hell’s Kitchen” were set up last week, it looked like somebody was near death in the kitchen. But then the episode 2 played through, and there were no sirens, no emergencies… to speak of. Even the comment from Ramsay that “you could have killed someone” was not a convenient segue to advertise how Aaron and his boning skills send someone to the hospital. So, I’m confused.

You don’t need hype on top of the hype that is “Hell’s

Kitchen”, to begin with, but apparently the medical emergency is yet to come. Still, I don’t dare infer that it has something to do with Aaron anymore, even though he is clearly the best contestant for ensuing medical help. Ahh, make that mental help.

This guy is whacked. He is seriously troubled, and someone should have (and maybe they did) escort him from the site and usher him to the nearest psych ward. I do not say this to be cruel. I am serious.

Many of us have been there (hell, from the way this piece is so scattered and incoherent, I can add my name to that list): so stressed and amped and confused that we can only speak a few repeated words in between the wracking sobs. Aaron is in the kitchen one minute (for the skinning and roe removing challenge), and he is gone the next…scurrying down the hall to the dorms where he stayed for hours—absolutely unable to cope with the least pressured periods.

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Hell is for Heroes

Hell is for Heroes [Cue the Music]…Who Can Get through a Service without Crying, Fighting, or Fainting by Roxanne McDonald

I worked my way through two degrees in kitchens, doing everything from cooking (as a substitute for a no-show) to serving to pot-washing. I used to have actual nightmares…that I was serving tables miles away on a hill I couldn’t get to. You know the anxiety-driven type of horrors…akin to showing up in public without your pants deal.

The first installment of “Hell’s Kitchen” 3 just revives those literal nightmares for me. Damn. Is it me, or is the show getting more chaotic and combative?
In one episode, one cheftestant has almost fainted, five or six have gotten into arguments, and three have cried…more than once. Oh, and already the back-dooring has begun! Wheeeeee!

Signature Dish Critique Session

Vinnie, 29, a night club chef from Milltown, New Jersey, is up first. His signature dish is chorizo-encrusted pink snapper.

Ramsey says he would be surprised if one could eat all that without burning his mouth; Vinnie responds with something contrary; and Ramsey gets instantly pissed by the back-talk, calling him a $%@@ jerk and sending him back in line.

Joanna, 22, a chef’s assistant from Detroit, Michigan, is next. Her signature dish is parmesan-crusted chicken with whole wheat spaghetti and a flute of raspberry Bellini on the side.

Ramsey gives her the drink, and tells her to drink it. He then describes her chicken as dry and salty: salty, salty dry.

Rock, 30, an executive chef from Spotsylvania, Virginia, describes his dish to Ramsey as pan-seared scallops with potato gnocchi. Ramsey is at first excited by the novelty, and says he is surprised Rock had time to do gnocchi. Rock says he didn’t, that the gnocchi is frozen. You KNOW what Ramsey’s expression is going to be as soon as you hear the word “frozen”.

“You served me frozen gnocchi,” he says, and claims it could have been a “mind-blowing” dish based on the idea, but the execution has failed.

Josh, 26, a junior sous chef from Miami Beach, Florida, has interviewed that food is sex. But his signature foi gras is raw and way too salty. So does that mean he gave Ramsey raw and salty sex?

Bonnie, 26, a nanny/personal chef from Los Angeles, California, has already expressed how Ramsey makes her want to pee her pants (even though, she adds, he is still a hottie). She offers a signature dish of what she calls a

“contemporary cheese course”—which I would call a candidate for nouveau cuisine, for sure.
When Ramsey prepares to get more information and suggests they start from, say, end A, Bonnie corrects him that you actually start from the other end, point B. Ramsey is horrified, it appears, and asks that it makes that much of a difference which end they start eating…. Etc. Etc.

He exclaims that it is “Whooo, different,” and comments how she is new at this. She nods and he says that yeah, he can see that.

Eddie, 28, a grill cook from Atlanta, Georgia, is already up for uh-ohs from this viewer. He is 5’2”, having had his growth impeded by a kidney disease, and looks or presents himself a little like the neophyte on American Idol, the one who hadn’t ever seen an ocean and had never, before auditions, flown on a plane.

But Ramsey is not so cruel: he tells Eddie, “How come I look wrinkled and you look so angelic?” and Ramsey fans the world over sigh relief that the four-star chef has a modicum of soft to him.

Eddie’s dish is parmesan-crusted sea scallops with a vermouth cream sauce.

Brad, 25, a sous chef from Scottsdale, Arizona, has also done a scallop dish, so he calls Brad to judge Eddie’s dish while Eddie judges Brad’s, scallops with vanilla (?), prosciutto, and a little lemon crab. Brad is off on his description of Eddie’s dish, which is raw, and while Eddie impresses Ramsey with quite a little palate (identifying how the vanilla wrecks the taste of Brad’s dish), Chef Ramsey says one is raw and both are way under par.

Jen, 26, a pastry chef from Hazleton, Pennsylvania, has prepared a dish that Ramsey now uncovers and asks ownership for. We see the group of hopefuls and see one woman start to buckle, as if she is going to faint before she even hears Ramsey’s slams. [Now this one has done her homework on the man with the fire-breathing façade.]

She finally steps forward, and describes her dish as vanilla crepes with caramelized peaches. Ramsey fires off his disgust: “…too thick.” “…so much alcohol in there.” “I feel drunk.” Jen scurries back in line.
Melissa, 29, a line cook from New York, New York, steps out to claim the next dish. She is so sexy that we can almost see the cartoon eyes and hear the accompanying ayooga alarm sound. Well, we get close enough: Ramsay says something like “Wowee,” and the camera cuts to Melissa in the pantry talking about how she is always under- or over-estimated when she steps into a kitchen, but how once she cooks, she changes the perceivers’ minds.

That she does with Ramsey. Her signature pepper-crusted (is everything better when it’s prefixed by crusty?) steak and roasted asparagus. He announces that finally he has tasted something delicious, but to not appear TOO biased, he snaps for her to get back in line.

Julia, 28, a short-order cook from Atlanta, Georgia, is another we are in for feeling endearing feelings for. She delivers a pile of slop…grey slop…which Ramsey of course holds up for scrutiny (or mockery) and which has the exact aesthetic of the waffle house she works in.

The dish is chicken-fried chicken penne.

Tiffany, 27, a kitchen manager from Scottsdale, Arizona, has not also made chicken-fried chicken anything, but to be kinder, I guess, Ramsey has her tast Julia’s and Julia taste Tiffany’s seafood tostada. Tiffany says Julia’s is “peppery.” Ramsey says the chicken is delicious but ruined with too much pepper. Julia says Tiffany’s is good, and Ramsey says it is cooked perfectly.

Aaron, 48, a retirement home chef from Palos Verdes, California, is the second one who elicits an immediate uh-oh from the viewers. He is big, Asian, and wearing a cowboy hat. Ramsey has a litany of comments–first asking Aaron where his horse is; then saying he has never before met an Asian cowboy; and capping off the fare of critical goodies with a fine “You are one chunky monkey, aren’t you?”

Aaron has prepared what he says is “just finger food.” A lot of it. Chef Ramsey points with his silverware to one side, saying this is good, and pushes the other part away with the silver, saying to throw away the rest. Not sure if that means the rejected part was bad tasting or just too much surplus….

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Season 3 Hell’s Apoppin

Season 3 Hell’s Apoppin by Roxanne McDonald

The first promo for “Hell’s Kitchen 3” brings back Chef Spitfire Ramsey and his throwing some food he has rejected at a poor, tortured cheftestant. Who will do the fire-walk this season?

This season recaps, rants, and raves are dedicated to Rachel Brown.

FOX Mondays are heating up, especially with “Hell’s Kitchen” on the way, on June 4th, 2007.

It was announced on May 16, but I caught the first promo last night (May 22). Ramsey, who makes the show with his

combined expertise and emotional volatility, will be teaching, training, and testing twelve hopefuls for the much deserved title of Head Chef of a Green Valley Ranch Resort, Spa and Casino Italian restaurant in Las Vegas.

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