However Shall We Re-Name Them? Kathy Griffin Opts for D-listers to Get Her Off the D-list

However Shall We Re-Name Them? Kathy Griffin Opts for D-listers to Get Her Off the D-list by Roxanne McDonald

Well, okay, given the new list of men Kathy Griffin asks us to choose from—to have her date so she can get off the D-list by having a his-and-her moniker melding (Brangelina, TomKat, Bennifer)–maybe the choices are not all D-list dateables. But, what, we have to come up with a Kathy and Sanjaya combo?

Maybe only one is a D-lister. Or two. Sanjaya is on the chart Kathy has crafted as part of her new plan to evade the ranking she has suffered for so long, as is the dubious K-Fed (who if he thinks he will get any of Kathy’s money, has another think coming). Some ratty choices to begin with, I’d say. And what in hell would we do with the names to make the new couple worthy of moving up the rank and file of celebrity status (if that is even possible, given how you know this whole thing is a hysterical schlep for viewer ratings more than anything else, anyway)?

Whatever the solution or outcome, I’m on board.

Season three of “Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List” will run the premise of Kathy getting out of that lowest echelon of

celebrities by dating her way into a power couple combo. She thought her first husband loved her, she says, but she also thought she was marrying for keeps. But like a fool, she married for love, she confesses, glibly suggesting that this time, the tactic should include efforts to marry someone who will help her get off the D-list.

No surprise, then, given her humor, is her compilation of likely candidates for the title of Mr. Griffin, any one of whom we fans can vote for her to date by texting DLIST to Bravo (27286) and/or by visiting www.OffTheDList.com. And what would the new couple be called?

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Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D List Takes Her Act to Baghdad

Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D List Takes Her Act to Baghdad by Roxanne McDonald

Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D List episode 4 in the second of two seasons thus far is a bittersweet study of the lengths the comedienne goes to make a living, keep her reputation growing, and, even, to show some support for others – in this case, the troops in Baghdad.

On tour with Karri Turner, Michael McDonald, and husband Matt, Kathy is filmed getting ready in the modest hotel bathroom. As she is putting on make-up, bombs report nearby. Her husband lies, and tells her that it was, uh, an OUT-going bomb, but Kathy looks at the camera with a “yeah, right” look, and later comments that she knew otherwise. She add that they must have heard her Gwyneth Paltrow jokes and didn’t appreciate them.

Asked if she will want to cancel, she says the American soldiers deserve a performance. And with respect to performing for the American troops, Kathy discusses how she feels doing so. She says, “Let me tell you something. I never felt more attractive – guys who hardly see women at all –I never felt more sexy, more beautiful.”

She introduces Michael McDonald,

who does a brief Stewart set (Stewart is the latest and youngest recruit), which makes the troops roar as the over-grown baby is approached by Griffin and does his standard “get awayyyy!” thing.

Heading home and readying for the week-long (or longer) visit of her niece and nephew, Kathy says that being in the war zone was kind of a dream compared to being with her the kids. Griffin feigns hating kids, but does a decent job of hosting and entertaining them – asking little Johnny what kind of beer he likes and bringing home a surprise hunky guest for her niece, Claire.

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Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D List Episode 5 is for the Dogs

Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D List Episode 5 is for the Dogs by Roxanne McDonald

Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List, episode 5 of season two of the ever-hilarious reality TV show follows Kathy around as usual, taking viewers into the most significant of lifestyle phenomena for the comedienne who [thinks she] has fallen from superstar grace.

As Kathy and Matt are told by the personal assistant that one of the out-of-control dogs, Pom-pom, has chewed on the leather couch (in their three-million-dollar home, by the way), they decide the dogs need obedience training.

They hire a trainer who comes to the mansion and suggests that Kathy pretend she is a squirrel. Obviously seeing this as ridiculous but ever game for a humorous moment, Kathy gets on the floor on her back and cheeps and chirps. The dog is compelled to play along, but the whole thing is really quite ineffectual, so later, Kathy suggests that since Pom-pom tries to run off the property, they should get a giant squirrel costume, some guns, and scare Pom-pom back onto the property.

The personal assistant draws the line at dressing up that way,

but does concede to acquiring the costume – which Kathy Griffin begrudgingly, sarcastically dons and play acts. Instead of being scared off, however, the dogs jump and bark and playfully bite at her squirrel arms, which are wielding giant, noisy plastic guns.

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Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D List is A List Dee-lightful!

Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D List is A List Dee-lightful! by Roxanne McDonald

Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D List is a double delight. It is reality TV, taking viewers into the home and work life of a celebrity (though as her premise holds, that of a D-lister).

And Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D List is stand-up comedy by one of the mouthiest and most sarcastic of comediennes. Kathy Griffin rocks, especially as she modifies her act depending upon who she is playing to.

Griffin goes from the makeshift stages in Baghdad, where she cheers up the soldiers and experiences the landing of a couple of actual bombs outside the hotel, to doing Republican convention gigs wherein the audience DOES get her and appreciate her but wherein a kid at the event comes up and challenges her – asking why she “hates” kids.

An especially delightful time in most episodes is when Kathy includes her parents.

They love the booze, which Kathy rarely fails to point out, be bummed about, or joke about, and as parents who seem to have adapted to Kathy’s iconoclastic persona they are fairly open-minded.

This makes for great TV when you have generations of Jewish family members sitting around playing what if games such as who would you bang, who would you marry, and who would you kill and the options are brought up to include Princess Di, Bill O’Reilley, and Larry King. (I’ll leave it to you to watch that particular episode and find out who Kathy’s Pop is into and who her Mom is crazy about.)

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