Sorry but Pirate Master Sucks

Sorry but Pirate Master Sucks by Mike Liebner     The show blows and has got to go… bye bye says Tivo!

OK, so it seemed like it might be a good Summer replacement for Survivor seeing that it comes from the same people associated with reality tv giant Mark Burnett.

I tried to give it a fair shot, but the last episode put me over the edge and I have now officially removed Pirate Master form both of my Tivos. It simply is not even worth watching in fast forward mode. Now that sucks!

Go ahead and blame it on the awful casting if you want, but I think the concept is what is really flawed big time, as setting the show on a creaky old pirate boat and having the contestants play, er, pretend, er contend as if they were real pirates is a concept with less merit than Jackass (any version). Not even the best actors would be fun to watch pretending they were pirates in a reality tv show, much less the motley crew of dorks they have on the show.

Like I said before, I do respect Mark Burnett, but sorry my man - you have let me and the peoples down big time - again.

Pirate Master is not just lame - it sucks!

I am so tired of the lame foot races where they’re racing to find a puzzle piece and bag of fake coins. It’s not clever. It’s not even a competition. It’s a freakin’ foot race with make believe pirates… how lame is that? 

They run… they fall… they complain… duh… to base a show around a weekly foot race for a fake pirates chest is an insult to reality tv watchers.

Zanzibar and mutiny and cutting them adrift may be clever bullet points for a 6th grade art class or drama project, but prime time tv demands much more than make believe reality tv. Is that what tv execs really want to fill the airwaves? Is that what people really want to watch? (more…)

That Captain about to be Spoyked on tha Daggah

That Captain about to be Spoyked on tha Daggah by Roxanne McDonald

This can’t be good: JD doing none of the work, getting plenty of food and rest, and taking the largest share of the loot.

Episode 2 of “Pirate Master” is even more insipid…, but I watch it anyway. I watch for the leadership methodology, which has little apparent strategy—or critical thinking—and which, crafted on a foundation of self-indulgent indifference to the others, suggests JD will soon be feeling the spike of the sword…if not straight into his back then for sure across his throat.

First, as has been pointed out before (I think by Architeuthis, at the ever brilliantly humorous Reality Shack) JD is in some Robert Louis Stevenson world of his own, taking on the captain pirate role of way back when. That is, clearly he is not using any Who Moved My Cheese management styles that would secure his stay on the bad ship Picton Castle.

Instead, he is doling out the duties, relying on the lowly ones to do the work, and while seemingly ignorant to the subterfuge and sabotage plots, is bribing a spy…. All this, and taking half the “earnings”, too.
He’s got Sean cooking, has Jay “playing both sides” by making him message boy, and has several crew members (his and the Red team’s) pee-oh’d.

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Ahoy There, Greedy

Ahoy There, Greedy by Roxanne McDonald

The theme of the summer extends the pirate construct, exposes the greedier (or worst-playing) contestants, and gets rid of the pirate who would have been the prettiest to look at.

So pirate John will have to settle for looking good on a rum bottle, or whatever gigs he gets having done “Pirate Master”. The rest will go on to vie for the booty that is attractive in itself…if you’re not sick of “Survivor” or pirate movie spin-offs.

I don’t know how long I will last doing recaps of “Pirate Master.” Though the set and cinematography are visually appealing, the format is so much like “Survivor” and the

theme is so done….I just can’t get as excited as I do for, say, “Big Brother,” “On the Lot,” or even “Hell’s Kitchen. To agree with me are the viewers who turned instead to “Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?” “The Scripps National Spelling Bee,” or re-runs of “My Name is Earl” [or who are still resenting the cancellation of “Jericho”].

But what self-declared TV and reality TV addict would be able to boast devoted non-stop watching of every possible show if he or she didn’t at least give a nod or tip a skull and crossbones cap?

So here goes…sniff.

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