How Pitiful When Art Gives Way to War

How Pitiful When Art Gives Way to War by Roxanne McDonald

Amendment I Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Nigel Lithgoe actually handled the controversy quite adeptly, but the hypocrisy still stings.

Tough sh-t.

Art: the music of John Meyer, “Waiting for the World to Change.”

Art: choreography of a piece that pointed toward LOVE and PEACE instead of hate and killing.

Art: Peace sign t-shirts.

Woooooo. So insulting to have to go into someone else’s backyard and kill her children then have to watch a television show that has dancers dancing for what they believe in. Ooooh, that sure hurts. I’m sure you will need years of therapy.

Callers in to “So You Think You Can Dance?” bitching, being offended, feeling oh so slighted that the show did an anti-war dance.

Yeeeahhh…. And that is wrong… how, again? Or better, what country are we living in?
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At Least it was Good Advertisement for Somebody

At Least it was Good Advertisement for Somebody by Roxanne McDonald

Guest judge Adam Shankman and movie Hairspray [which actually looks good, though] get ample promotion, if nothing else.

Not sure why the most memorable parts of the fourth round of eliminations are the animated explorations of the lovely Mr. Shankman…but I am still foggy on who danced what and how

and why, etc. Maybe the Fourth of July break in the schedule contributed to my mental flurries. Maybe I am just getting tired of the awkward results of voting, voting gone awry, or judicial decisions that have nothing to do with democracy.

Here’s what I do recall enough to rehash for you:

The whole Jessi getting dismissed thing was so upsetting to viewers that they issued a petition to Nigel, Mary, and company: the signers claimed to not have voted Jessi off; Nigel defended their decision. That shut us all up…for the time being, anyway.

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Learning You Cannot Just Dance Alone in Your Basement

Learning You Cannot Just Dance Alone in Your Basement…and for God’s Sake, Dancers, Drink Some Water! by Roxanne McDonald

A special guest judge but no special treatment for the emergently ill.

With guest judge Debbie Allen, the panel says goodbye to two more dancers. Mz. Allen had expressed her opinion of the dancers this season, saying they are not only trained,

skilled, and talented, but good people. Mary had discussed the surprising contestant—who to her is Dominick—and Nigel had acknowledged how pleasant this season’s dancers are as well as are the choreographers.

Sara and Jesus had danced first (after yet another “what are your ambitions” interview question), having trained for crumping [including sliding, chest-popping, and doing the “bathroom stall”] with choreographer Lil’ C.

Debbie had told them it was a great way to start the show, with a lot of face…which is, she had said, what dance is also about.

Mary had done her signature wow squeal, and told Sara what a contrast it was for her and that Jesus had “hit it hard.”

Nigel liked where crumping was going, loved the slides and all, and Sarah she was a “gangstah” and Jesus he made Nigel thoroughly enjoy a style he would otherwise normally be scared of.

Shauna and Cedric (who each lost a partner in week two eliminations) had trained for a contemporary number with choreographer Mia Michaels.

Debbie had been shocked that Shauna had been in the bottom three, and questions the choreography from that last week dance. She advises Cedric that dancing, and this competition, are about so much more than technique. This is evidently not a left-handed compliment, for his spirit and soul touched her every time he danced.

Mary loved the dancing but told Shauna hers was not good enough…, while Cedric’s, she continued, was extraordinary in solos but likely out-danced again this week as he was last.

Nigel had agreed, but added that this competition is for people without formal training and Cedric was, yes, an inspiration, while Sara had put herself on the map [of obviously untrained? What?].

Lacey and Kameron had not only danced, but advertised their hooking up? They had trained with Tony Meredith for the quick step.

Debbie had praised their performance—saying it was classic, timely, and fun to watch. Great feet and a sassy dress made it even more so, she added.

Mary acknowledged how Lacey doesn’t really do the quick step but that she did a great job. She missed Kameron’s Mohawk, but also told him that since the quick step is known to be the “kiss of death on this show,” Bravo, he, too, did a great job.

Nigel said that he kept his shape well (hopefully, after all that bike rack training). Nigel would have liked to have seen a professional skim across the floor, but Cedric led…, and Lacey’s difficult to lead, he noted.

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Bye-bye Ballroomer and Hip Ballet Dancer: Second Eliminations on So You Think You Can Dance

Bye-bye Ballroomer and Hip Ballet Dancer: Second Eliminations on So You Think You Can Dance by Roxanne McDonald

The world (or, America) is all atumble at the decisions to let Faina and Jimmy go.

My colleagues and mentors at the college where I put in a decade of work would be horrified I spend my days fixated on this stuff.

But the trend being talent-oriented competitions and my penchant being for pop culture in general and reality TV in particular (okay…, any TV), I feel compelled to at least give recap attention to “So You Think You Can Dance?” if not in

any way an intelligent or even funny review. (I’ll leave that to the hilarious writers at Reality Shack and Fans of Reality TV.)
You know the initial drill: Cat makes introductions (including this week’s guest judge, choreographer Mia Michaels), the group dances as a whole, and the judges comment on the debacle that was the previous week—conveniently blaming America for this or that, etc..

Then, thankfully, the remaining contestants dance…after giving lip service to the redundancy that is why do you want, how did you come to want, etc. questioning.

Lauren and Neil dance a Hip Hop number, as choreographed by Dave Scott. They do some pretty impressive moves, but I am stupidly stuck on how much Neil looks like Blake from the latest season of American Idol.

Mia comments how this is a helluva lot better than last week. She notes how she loves Dave’s chorography—which “breathes”, which “moves”; and tells Neil he tore this piece up, while she could have done without Lauren, as she is not quite bringin it for her, yet.
Mary said last week she was cheerleader, but this week there is a chemistry starting to happen. They are starting to get on solid ground, she says, and adds that she loved the smack, the suspended dive, and the overall performance.
Nigel loved it from both of them. He also loved David’s choreography, and told the couple they have set the bar for everybody else who will have to get up and dance outside their style.

Jessi and Pasha do a Jazz routine, as choreographed by Tyce DiOrio.

Mia gushes that she is so proud.
Mary says it’s going to be one of those nights: they way Jessi isolates the head, the way she moves, making us just want to latch onto her, the way Pasha made us feel the stalking, the way he was always there for Jessi. Both of them, she says, are gorgeous.
Nigel says that it is beautiful to see…from a Latin ballroom to an idiosyncratic bird routine, and he believes they are on the road to becoming one of the top dance couples of the competition.

Jaime and Hok do the Samba, as choreographed by Jean-Marc and his wife France Genereux.

Mia prefaces her critique by saying that while she is usually such a nightmare, tonight she must have drunk from the love juice cup, as she feels they tore it up. The hips going were especially sexy, she adds.
Mary jokes that she obviously was not drinking from the same cup, as while she found some good bits in there she doesn’t think they have yet cut the mustard: feet were not turned out when they should have been; feet were turned out too far when they should not have been….
Nigel thinks it was a great performance, but wholeheartedly agrees with Mary. He suggests when they [the show] say they are doing a Samba, they should better pin down the details…that there is a closer holding of each other, that it is more old-fashioned. But the dancers were not asked to do that, he concedes, so while it was not technically perfect, it was done well enough.

Sabra and Dominick do a Contemporary dance, choreographed by Mandy Moore.

Mia is about to cry. She expresses how beautiful Dominick was, and tells Sabra she is like this beautiful little [and again I don’t get the reference—Allee?] girl…just stunning.
Mary calls their performance fabulous, great, what with all the intricate hooks and rollovers. She tells Sabra she is a heavenly creature when she dances—unique and different; and she tells Dominick he is a force to be reckoned with.
Nigel tells Sabra she is one of those who sometimes slips through the net: they don’t see her, he says, but when she is solo…. With a partner, she is, he continues, amazing. To Dominick he expresses how impressed he is by how seriously the kid takes this…even going so far as to shave his toes. But, but, he adds, there is also sometimes that arrogance that doesn’t allow him to be anything other than the best thing since sliced bread. [Okay, I said I was going to refrain from being snarky, but now I’m hungry: we have had love juice and mustard and now bread. Only analogy item missing is the meat.) This dance/competition requires deliberation, though, and that’s all they can ask for, Nigel concludes.

Faina and Cedric do a Foxtrot choreographed by Hunter Johnson.

Mia shows her disappointment, and tells them she thinks they got through it—but it looked like Ginger Rogers and an insecure Michael Jackson. Too bad, because Cedric is her second favorite, brilliant, but he has to take the next step up, she advises, because he is better than that. To Faina she says how beautiful she was, but it wasn’t “copacetic”.
Mary believes Cedric is wonderful on his own but not with a partner. In this style, too, his hands were all wrong, and when they tried to throw in Hip-Hop for him, they got it all wrong, she says. Faina was beautiful, however, and should have been, Mary adds, for this is after all Faina’s field.
Nigel confesses he has always worried about how Cedric would be with a partner, and tonight is justified: Cedric appeared anxious, without charisma, and needs to invest to win.

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Bye-bye Birdies: First Eliminations on So You Think You Can Dance

Bye-bye Birdies: First Eliminations on So You Think You Can Dance by Roxanne McDonald

Well, the birds didn’t go, so I suppose it is better to suggest it takes two to Tango off the Competition floor?

The top 20 had been paired and had danced for Mary Murphy, Nigel Lythgoe, and guest judge, choreographer Dan Karaty.

Jaime and Hok did a Hip Hop routine, as choreographed by Shane Sparks.

To me (who knows almost nothing of dance), the two had practiced heartily, for their efforts showed in their tandem performance.

Dan said the fun tricks were fun to watch.
Mary said Hok was outstanding in what he does and Jaime, who couldn’t keep up with Hok, might be forgettable at the end of the day.
Nigel disagrees saying that he thought that some of the choreography missing Hok’s style and holding Hok back—which maybe Shane did for Jaime, Nigel speculates—but he thought Jaime did keep up.

Danny and Anya had danced the Jive, as choreographed by Tony Meredith.

Mary said they took a very impressive seat on the Hot Tamale Train.
Nigel said that what was great was that they look great as partners; Danny kept up with Anya; and Anya shows everybody how to be a technician as well as a performer.

Lacey and Kameron did a Contemporary number, as choreographed by Mia Michaels. Cat Deeley said she got the first chills of the season, and I know what she means: I use the goose bump factor to gauge my personal reception of performances. I got ‘em too.

Dan told Lacey that while she was hoping to get half of Mia’s vision, she got the whole thing, he thought. He then told Kameron he was Lacey’s prop, which suggested not a good thing, apparently.
Mary, however, said Kam was much more than a prop and that both of them brought the hair right up off her arms. She added that Lacey was a surprise who sparked emotions, and thanked Lacey for that.
Nigel agreed with Dan, though, saying Lacey was the star of that show with her leaps and jumps, while Kameron, he said, was there every single time. He had added that he just wanted to see more of the relationship story, for to him it was like watching The Sopranos and missing out on the end.

Sabra and Dominick did Disco, choreographed by Doriana Sanchez.
Dan said that while the outfits were hysterical, the performance was good…not great. He added that the audience gave energy that helped Dom and Sabra along. Dan also speaks to the nostalgia of season one, where nobody, he said, was better at this than Nick Lazzarini [the season 1 winner].
Mary was impressed that a B-Boy was out there doing that, and said it was good. She asks rhetorically if it was supposed to be corny, and then answers herself, saying “absolutely”. She also added a compliment to “Little Miss Sunshine” with her “perfect” hair and all.
Nigel was surprised at Dan’s critique, and reminded everyone this was Dominick’s first time dancing with a partner. He also reminded us how that one lift took Baby and Swayze a whole summer to master, and told Dominick that “Damn,” he looked like John Leguizamo in The Summer of Sam.

Ashlee and Ricky had danced the Tango, choreographed by Alex DaSilva.

Dan had said it was supposed to be really sexy…and it wasn’t. He claimed a mother could have danced that with her son and been more convincing. The couple did the choreography well, he added, but nothing was going on for the two, he thought.
Mary agreed with Dan, and said that while the two looked sizzling but the dance wasn’t right.
Nigel had also begun to harp on how Ashlee looked so much bigger than Ricky and that made for bad chemistry and highlighted how difficult a routine it was for the partners they had been given.
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Thirty Leaving Las Vegas

Thirty Leaving Las Vegas… in Tears by Roxanne McDonald

The top 20 are determined, while the remaining thirty leave defeated, disappointed, or collapsed in exhausted heaps.

No, wait, that’s a top 20 finalist, collapsing…before she even knows the results of her dance for her life performances.

That’s Faina, who, it turns out, had collapsed from

dehydration. You may not be eating much, girl, but at least drink something!

Champagne, for starters.

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So You Think You Can Dance for the Pros?

So You Think You Can Dance for the Pros? by Roxanne McDonald

Mia Michaels, Mary Murphy, and Shane Sparks take the dancing hopefuls through the steps of group performing, and put the maybes through an additional dance for your life test.

190 have made it through to Vegas. Now for the closer scrutiny of collaborative efforts and ability to follow the teachings of the pros.

Dancer/choreographer Shane Sparks works with the first group of groups; dancer/choreographer Mary Murphy teaches the remaining group the Samba; and dancer/choreographer Mia Michaels leads the third remaining cluster in contemporary.

After each smaller group performs, more cuts are made. After Shane’s round, sixty-two hopefuls are leaving Las

Vegas; once Mary completes her lessons, within twenty-four hours of the dancers arriving in Vegas, almost half are gone; and after the contemporary routine with Mia, the numbers go down to sixty-three semi-semi-semi-finalists.

After all that expert help, the remaining dancers are clustered into groups of four or five, and given a box of CDs to choose a piece of music/dance style from.

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What Do You Do When You Can’t Play Football?

What Do You Do When You Can’t Play Football? by Roxanne McDonald

What do you do when you can’t play football, be a cowboy, or convincingly simulate a cat?

You audition for “So You Think You Can Dance?”

Okay, to be fair, there was one cowboy who was delightfully entertaining with his line dance for one; and the ex football player was decent, doing his pirouettes and plies despite his poor father’s dream of having a hulking All-American quarterback with the Al—American cheerleader girlfriend.

Atlanta auditions gave us the rhinestone cowboy reincarnated (cept this rhinestone cowboy added dance to his leather/suede rhinestone-studded repertoire); the sweet young ex-football player who after a broken leg mishap could no longer play so turned to dance—which he has been doing for eight months and who is therefore not quite good

enough to move on (but is encouraged by the judges); a young man who presents himself professionally and is obsessed with N’Sync—crying when the bobbleheads came out on sale; a very large, very deluded [self-proclaimed trained in ballet and hip hop] young woman who was so immobile that Mary said she was sucking the life force out of her; and a chick in cat ears who didd little more than a bad prowling impression.

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Dedicated to Anna Nicole and Immortality

Dedicated to Anna Nicole and Immortality and… Sniff… Whimper… by Roxanne McDonald

Okay, so as Chicago guest judge in episode two (of Chicago and L.A. auditions) Shane Sparks said there’s a difference between unique and whack, and the whack outnumbered….

Days three and four of the try-outs for “So You Think You Can Dance?” brought more lunatics, but also saw the success of several lovelies.

The Loonies

Colin Wheeler has unlocked the key to life, he says with big, watery eyes. And uh-oh, you know we are not in for a message about the metaphor of dance. He has discovered, maybe, immortality! This reminds him, unfortunately, of a birthday he had where Anna Nicole showed up, hugged him, and said happy birthday. He loves her so much, he begins to sob, that she still visits, gives him signs, and therefore has him deciding to dedicate this dance audition to her. Maybe his birthday was last week and she has been dead but immortalized all along…and this is his key.

He does this ethereal thing on stage, kind of a continuation of his dissertation but in these dreamy gooey break dance moves that make those of us who have looked away and then back to thing either the guy is dancing in Jello or there is something wrong with our slow-mo function on the TV set.

Nigel says he is not sure if “we should come to your planet or you should come ours…,” and notes how Colin was still floating around after the music had stopped. Guest judge for L.A., Wade Robeson says, “Wait…I have to wake up out of my hypnosis,” then that if someone was at a rave at 3 o’clock in the morning, that would work. Nigel has thus far kept his original vow to not be mean, and while Colin and his dance are not right for this competition, he thanks him for bringing it to them.

Bryce “Gold Inferno” Cleverly has the kind of Unknown Comic thing going on with this creepy Buck Rogers helmet/hood/mask. Or maybe it’s the suitor in the iron mask from that Monika Lewinsky-hosted show? He intends to keep anonymous by keeping the mask on always. This would have been a really cool conceit (imagine the blogging and buzzing it would have generated, ala Sanjaya infamy!) had he danced well. He does some weird-ass thing that makes us thing he might have shared some crack with Colin, then tells the judges that he is the master, the king, of jump dance or break jumping or whatever.

Nigel has been hitting that same pipe, evidently, for he apologizes that maybe he is getting as crazy as Gold Inferno is, but he is going to send the guy through to choreography. He also adds that the guy could end up winning the whole competition. Okay, the dark horse theory is stretched reeeeally thin, here. Not to worry, folks. Gold Inferno is not through to Vegas. He has to go save jump dancers everywhere, anyway.

Amanda Vivona is by no means as visibly nutty, but when she starts her bragging, we get a hint that she is at least going to embarrass herself. Oh, wait, these people don’t embarrass easily, cause they know they are great. Amanda even says what the other bad dancers say but says that while they SAY it, she CAN DO it…the great dancing. Uh. No. She can’t. A mad hybrid of ballet and hip hop later, the well-intentioned Nigel asks, “Did you say, when I asked earlier, that you could dance?” She nods that of course she did. “Well, you were lying.” Wooof.

Joshua Hill is this guy watching his feet as they shuffle ploddingly along. That’s it. Just BARELY moves…and watches his feet.

Nigel has to call up the “promised not to be mean this season” mantra, then says that that kind of dance is great for social gatherings and that Josh will meet a lot of people and make a lot of friends. Will he? Wade tells him he is not right for this competition but to keep doing what he’s doing, being passionate and all. Oh, and Joshua alludes to returning to entertain us again next year, saying he will wait and see what a year will do. Not sure it’s the time you need, Josh, buddy.

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So You Think You Can Dance Despite the Brain Damage?

So You Think You Can Dance Despite the Brain Damage? by Roxanne McDonald

The New York auditions episode 1 of season 3 is hilarious and heart-breaking at once.

“I’ve promised I’m not going to be mean this season,” is Nigel’s challenge to himself. But about halfway through day one of the New York auditions, he can’t help but falter and fall back on that acerbic with that which of course goes right over most of those dancing heads.

The Good

Anya Garnis and Pasha Govalev do a hip, tight, and spot-on number, one that Nigel says was soooo hot and Mary says was “the best ballroom dance we’ve ever seen.” You really could watch these two for hours. Well, for many minutes, anyway.

Heather Zampier is one of the first sob stories turned tale of courage and determination and all that: after two hip surgeries (to remediate bone spurs—ouch), she is told she will never dance again. After she does a decent contemporary dance (I know very little about dance and even less about contempo) Nigel confirms what the doctors says. Heather says yes, and Nigel says, “What do they know?” Mary agrees, saying Heather was awesome and a miracle, and Dan comments on the fire, the technique, and, especially, Heather’s personality to match.

Hannah-Lee Sakakibara, you might think, would go in another category, here, for when she was working a dance hall, the floor collapsed—killing twenty four people and seriously hurting many others, her included. She had a broken nose, a broken jaw, and they thought she might even have brain damage.

But Hannah-Lee is not in the wrong compartment: she prayed in that hospital that if she could make it out of there, she would dance for the rest of her life. And dance she does. One judge, Dan, maybe, says she doesn’t have the physical stamina, though, to make it through even one dance. Mary wants to see how she would do in the choreography round. Nigel does, too, so she is sent to that “smelly” room (as Cat) calls it, to await her fate. She does get through, evidently, though I didn’t see her do so.

Ashley Keegan dances under the tutelage of Katie Watts. Both are auditioning, and we again get a little nervous about the “teacher” and her performance. But after Ashley kicks up a sexy storm, which Nigel says with wide-eyed joy (who can blame him? This hetero viewer was getting hot and bothered, too!) that she “has all the qualities she needs to be a good dancer,” and Dan says is “great to watch,” and Mary says was a “great audition,” the teacher comes out and wows

them almost as much. Katie does a really unique modern dance, and Mary calls her a “very special dancer;” Dan says even though she doesn’t have the “God-given” long legs that Ashley has she has done pretty well with what she’s got; and Nigel admits it is an honor and a joy to have a dance teacher who has turned out a great dancer in Ashley and has done well herself.

The Bad

Tiffany Green is overweight, half-leaping and spinning awkwardly and rolling around on the floor with little technique, and, when she finishes her routine, still has what Nigel has said he dreads watching: the “fat still bobbling.” The judges quietly tell her that it really wasn’t that good, so she tells us in the exit interview that she has a fall-back plan: to just open a restaurant.

Chasmer “creative in everything he does” Well might just want to work for Tiffany. He is stymied and stale, and Nigel, still trying not to “be mean” says he really wasn’t good. Mary and Dan agree, and Mary gives the kid some advice he likely won’t take with him to the door.

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