Who Do You Lo-ove, Prince Lorenzo?
Who Do You Lo-ove, Prince Lorenzo? by Roxanne McDonald
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After much apparent vacillating, Lorenzo chose his princess. But the question on many minds is will it last? |
Prince Lorenzo was adorable in his indecision on the final episode of The Bachelor: Rome. He told the cameras (and the viewers) that he had no idea what he was going to do, then that he was pretty confident he was choosing the “right” one, then that when he woke up on the morning of the Final Rose Ceremony that he was once again stumped and that he “…decided about two hours before the final Rose Ceremony” between Jen, the twenty-four year old school teacher from Pembroke Pines, Florida and Sadie, the twenty-three year old publicist from Carlsbad, California.
It was, he said to reporters later (according to Steve Rogers of Reality TV World),
a “difficult decision because I had strong feelings for both Jen and Sadie…I felt a little stronger with Jen just because I thought we had more chemistry. I was trying to find faults with both of them and it was almost impossible but I knew I had to make a decision and it was just that I felt a little closer to Jen and that’s why I went with what I was feeling at the time.”
Again, all the bachelors on all seasons are depicted as being mentally and emotionally (and maybe even spiritually) torn—for that makes for “good” TV, but Lorenzo was particularly adorable, having that kind of dumbfounded look and jamming his hands into his pants’ pockets and meandering on the grounds and fretting and all….
But also, Lorenzo did not technically propose to Jen. He started out with the delivery of his professions of love (he loves “everything” about her), then presented the ring with the slow and deliberate words, “This…is…a…ring….” He continued when he got his bearings, of course, explaining how his mother helped design it, etc…but also clarified the meaning of the ring not as an engagement ring but as a “family ring” that evidently Jen still wore on her engagement ring finger….
Also according to Rogers, the prince offered a good, simple explanation for that, saying “I didn’t have a necklace on me or a string but I mean it is a ring so you should put it on a finger and so I decided to put it on Jen’s finger, and obviously before I did I wanted her to understand why I was putting it on her finger and what it meant but she’s got it on her finger right now and I think that’s what you do with a ring.”
He sure does have a tactful way with words. Hmmmm.
Bitches about The Bachelor
Bitches about The Bachelor by Roxanne McDonald
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We have to agree that reality TV is better when the gentle and polite get caught on camera swearing and swatting bugs. |
I would have to agree with Maya Schechter, writing for TV Guide how The Bachelor would be “so much better if we saw the ‘real’ footage we’re supposed to be seeing on a reality show.”
It has long been determined (originally by Desmond Morris, I think) that if a camera is pointed at the person, he or she will act differently. We also know that the “cast” of The Bachelor: Rome are for the most part posturing for the camera,
for the other people on the show, and for us. Hell, even snooty, sooty, thinks- she’s-a-queen Erica is putting on an act. And, of course, Lorenzo, who no doubt is gentile in “real” life, is keeping up appearances with his exquisite manners and all.
But when The Bachelor: Rome Reunion airs and we see the slips, slurps, bloopers, and boo-boos, we are wont to say, “Hey! Why not give us more of the spitting, seething, swearing, and swatting…why not give us the host sticking a broom between his legs and saying how that’s a real woody…more often than once a season as filler until the finale?
The stalling of the reunion show coming before the finale is already an aggravating occurrence. How about listening to Ms. Schechter and other television aficionados and reformat—starting with making reality TV reality TV again?
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The Bachelor: Rome—What Do You Expect?
The Bachelor: Rome—What Do You Expect? by Roxanne McDonald
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Despite how idiot Erica and her ridiculously inept metaphors (a champagne milkshake?) predict otherwise, the criteria for the ideal mate is made clear by everyone on episode 5 of The Bachelor: Rome. |
On October 31, as the prince was making his way to the four family homes of the four remaining Bachelorettes, a question comes up (quite early on) that sets the tone for the whole episode: At the first home, that of twenty-three year old teacher Sadie, mother Colleen asks Lorenzo what his criteria is for choosing his mate. Not only does Lorenzo respond (speaking to the importance of 1. honesty, 2. best friendship, and 3. trusting anything he says), but the women and moms and dads apparently have some direct or indirect answers to this all-important question, as well.
Sadie, in Carlsbad, California, indicates (by describing Lorenzo) her expectations include the man be smart, humble, and remind her of “Daddy” in that he
“puts others before himself and makes [her] feel safe….” Sadie’s dad expects that he have the best intentions; and from what Mom says to camera, she expects the “down-to-earth” personality. Oh, and there might, just might, be an expectation that he get prayerful and passionate about God.
For twenty-five year old marketing manager Lisa in Portland, Oregon the criteria is firmly established: that he fit her plan to be married by 26 (better hurry, sister) and have kids by 30. We might also add for this darling Bachelorette that her potential mate not be “freaked out” as Lorenzo understandably was when Lisa steps into the living room stocked with baskets of bridal magazines with a bridal gown on….
Also seemingly mandatory is that any suitor to Lisa do command-performance Pilates in the foyer in front of the camera so Lisa’s mom can advertise her training skills?
In Pembroke Pines, Florida, however, the rules get stepped up somewhat: twenty-four year old teacher Jennifer (Jen) appears to determine that the ideal husband will fish right along side her off the back of the yacht, will not be emasculated when it is she who lands the big one, and will in turn not be deterred from giving her a smooch after she kisses the baby shark she has hooked and released.
Take a Lesson in Manners from The Bachelor Prince Lorenzo
Take a Lesson in Manners from The Bachelor Prince Lorenzo by Roxanne McDonald
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Many of the women on the Bachelor could learn some modern etiquette just by watching Lorenzo. After all, when in Rome…. |
Relationship guru Terry Gorsky must be champing at his lecture bit over episode 3 of the Bachelor, especially when, after he has admonished first daters about not telling/revealing all about one’s self on the first date and then seeing how Mz. Erica shares with the prince waaaay too soon how coo-coo she really is.
In fact, Lorenzo figures out that there are “two Erica’s” and judicioudly suggests to the cameras how he really doesn’t know them both.
First, this (polite but apt move of getting rid of that freak) is a huge relief for those of us who have watched so many duplicitous bitches get away with abusing their roommates behind the scenes then acting all wonderful and seducing the unaware bachelor with
that other Janus face she saves for the public and for “on” [the air] times. But moreover, how the prince handles the let down gives us (or the women, if they’re paying attention) some important lessons on how to act when in the company of others—especially when those others are potential mates.
Here are just a few hints at modeling the prince’s mannerisms–lessons on how to act when courting a potential mate:
Be a gracious listener. When the girls get an opera-singing lesson, though they are for the most part hideous, Lorenzo is attentive and kind, despite how obnoxious half of the women sound. This might recall for some of us the first night, when hotel concierge Andrea steps out on the balcony overlooking the courtyard and belts out a lovely rendition of something operatic. The women sitting with Lorenzo insist on chattering away on top of the vocals he is trying to hear. This leads us to the next lesson….
The Beautiful Bachelorettes: Let the Bitching Begin!
The Beautiful Bachelorettes: Let the Bitching Begin! by Roxanne McDonald
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The Bachelor: Rome contenders, as beautiful as all may be, bring on the pouty and punchy and pissy attitudes that make them less than attractive to some of us viewers. |
We see in the second episode of The Bachelor: Rome that jealousy has begun. It started with the smirks and eye-rolling and sulks in the premiere of number 9, but has taken on full bitch status by the second installment.
The women start in on Lisa as target for their jealousy when she wins the first rose of the season, along with a beautiful pair of diamond earrings, for doing little more than what catty Erica complained was “run[ning] around hugging a bunch of trees….”
Oh, dear, you don’t get that the prince likes Lisa for her clean, independent, and fun nature. He liked hugging those trees with her. It sure beat the pressures of twenty five women all glomming onto him. But then, Erica is less than understanding. In fact, she has some notion that she is already some kind of royalty, and is quite peed off when she can’t get a personal maid.
In characteristic more-royal-than-thou composure, Erica mutters she will have to recruit
some of the other girls to do her personal crap work for her. Viewers are likely ROFL, at this point, as we cannot envision the gorgeous blondes or brunettes folding her nasty pants or making her snooty bed for her anymore than we can bank on her being the best choice for the dignified, gentle, and easy-going Lorenzo.
Because Lisa got the first rose, she is the one who will go on the first solo date, while the rest will go on group dates with Lorenzo. This incurs more seething, which in turn has Erica kicking up the competitive strategies: on the group date—where the prince takes the first five women, touring the Parthenon and the Coliseum on foot and then on mopeds—Erica claims her license has expired so she cannot ride her own motorbike and therefore has to ride with the prince. She takes every opportunity to fawn over his nice abs, to ply him with details of her past love life, and to make the other women fear her powers over him.
The other women are jealous, and complain about her knack for getting time alone with Lorenzo. Sadie expresses this unhappiness for the group, adding to the bitch factor, while Erica is undaunted and going full bore with the critiques of other Bachelorettes, telling the prince, for instance, how Jami is a bad match for him as she “didn’t go to college”…though Lorenzo is not impressed by her judgmental clap-trap and defends the right for any woman who is there for him and for love, which he cites as a more apt reason for being there on The Bachelor.
The Bachelor is Back–and it’s Beautiful
The Bachelor is Back–and it’s Beautiful by Roxanne McDonald
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The Bachelor Rome brings us the most beautiful of sites, single women, and star of the show–Prince Lorenzo Borghese. |
The camera shots are majestic and magical, showing viewers the classic daytime villages, the classy and traditional legacy left to the newest bachelor–Borghese venues, and chic night spots, as well as the castle where the participants will stay for the duration of the show.
The women, too, are lovely to look at: they are tan and glowing, squeaky clean and cleverly dressed, and most appreciative of the opportunity to live out the possibility of the oldest cliche in childhood–meeting, falling in love with, and marrying a prince.
And this prince is charming. More, he is beautiful, dignified, and funny as hell.
Lorenzo Borghese is gorgeous to look at. He is fair-skinned and slight (unintimidating) in build. He dresses well, is dignified and quiet, and treats every woman as if she were already a princess: without gushing over her, for instance, on the first night when he is meeting the candidates, he speaks to their manner of dress, their jewelry, their hair…. To one woman he even compliments her sparkles (literal, not figurative).
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