Smartass Awards Go to Best of Best TV Show of All Time
Smartass Awards Go to Best of Best TV Show of All Time by Roxanne McDonald
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The top 20 (or 30) minor Seinfeld characters…according to moi. |
It is far too daunting a task to name the best episodes (cause they are ALL absolutely equally brilliant); it’s ridiculous, crazy, moot to try and name favorite episodes for each of the main characters (cause there are far more than top ten for each– Elaine, Kramer, Jerry, and George).
Hell, it is even impossible to stick to a top ten of the best minor characters [foregoing the obvious, such as the Soup Nazi] on Seinfeld, so I am forced to resort to a best of the best of the best…. If I can do even that.
My article, my choices, my TV-saturated brain.
The Women
Jeannie Steinman [Janeane Garofolo] in “The Foundation” and “The Invitations”
Rava [Nurit Koppel] in “The Statue”
Marla Penny, a.ka. Marla the Virgin [Jane Leeves] in “The Virgin”; “The Contest”; The Pilot”; and “The Finale, Part I”
Ellen [Christa Miller] in “The Sniffing Accountant” and “The Doodle”
Sue Ellen Mishke [Brenda Strong] in “The Caddy”; “The Bottle Deposit”; “The Abstinence”; and “The Betrayal”
Mabel Choate [Frances Bay] in “The Rye”; “The Cadillac”; and “The Finale, Part I”
Sally Weaver [Kathy Griffin] in “The Doll” and “The Cartoon”
Aunt Manya [Rozsika Halmos] in “The Pony Remark”
Sam [Molly Shannon] in “The Summer of George”
Maura [Alex Kapp Horner] and Alison [Bonnie McNeil] in “The Strong Box”
And my absolute favorite female minors:
Mrs. Ross [Grace Zabriskie] in “The Cheever Letters”; “The Rye”; “The Foundation”; “The Wizard”; and “The Finale, Part I”
Tina [Siobhan Fallon] in “The Deal”; “The Truth”; and “The Opposite”
Top 10 TV Parent-Child
Top 10 TV Parent-Child by Roxanne McDonald
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A ridiculous goal to name only the top ten TV mother/father and daughter/son moments, relationships, or scenes…, but I’m gonna try. |
There are several extant lists naming the top ten TV moms or TV dads, and just as many more calling for votes for favorites. But I’m going to cheat a little, and just name the scene or ongoing relationship or singular moment in both TV and movies (hey, I watched the movies on my
TeeVee)— between father or mother and daughter(s) or son(s)…and even include one between father-in-law and son-in-law.
It’s My List, so…
1. Relationship: Dede and Fred Tate (mother/son), Little Man Tate
2. TIED: Relationship(s): 1) Roseanne Connor and Becky, Darlene, and DJ (mother/kids), “Roseanne” [“You’re the reason animals eat their young.”]; 2) Lois and Malcolm, Reese, and Dewey (mother/sons), “Malcolm in the Middle”
Top 10 Dating TV Shows
Top 10 Dating TV Shows by Roxanne McDonald
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I’m going like gangbusters on the top ten lists, when I come across a couple of awesome sites with intriguing categories. |
Thinking I have hit on a handy way to get all the trivia and favorites stuff out there, I discover a couple of
webmasters/ bloggers who have beat me to it and have archives that rival RefDesk.com.
That doesn’t stop me from flouting my own favorites lists, this week including one for favorite dating shows—as also appears at Wanderlist.
There, the votes are in for favorite dating show, with the top ten favorites as follows:
1. Blind Date
2. The Dating Game
3. Cheaters
4. Temptation Island
5. Classmates
6. The Newlywed Game (which is NOT a dating show, but oh, well)
7. Joe Millionaire
8. Average Joe
9. Temptation Island
10. Elimidate
Top 10 Should-be TV
Top 10 Should-be TV by Roxanne McDonald
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I was just thinking again how much I miss certain television shows that I wish they would bring back in repeat…. |
Granted, there are DVD compilations, there is Nick at Night, and there is now online TV, but I would like to feel as if I have been wooshed back in my time machine and am
watching TV on my—imagine—TV!
Top Ten I Wish were Back
1. “The Prisoner” – Too many people I describe this show to (offline) think I am out of my gourd, not even believing there ever was such as show where a man is trapped in an Orwellian “The Village,” and where, among many such devices, a giant balloon is the security for and the nemesis to No. 6. (Thanks to the Internet, I can verify the existence of a show I once thought I imagined, dreamed, or mis-remembered.) And if I may cheat, along similar lines and tied for first place, here, I would love to see “The Fugitive” – sexy series, bold escapes, Kafkaesque conceit.
2. “The Mod Squad” – One black, one white, one blonde.
3. Batman – not the cartoon, not the movie(s), the series. Wanananananana….
4. “Six Feet Under” –yes it shows up on Bravo in re-run, sometimes, but I need much more consistency…and much more intelligent and unique programming. And here I wish to slip in my cry for the return of “Nip/Tuck”! Or just parade Christian out on screen once an hour on the hour.
5. “The Nanny and the Professor” – The accents, the kids, even the single father in his sixties style and habitat – if we can’t have “The Ghost and Mrs. Muir”…if we can’t have “Topper”.
6. “Family Affair” – Oh that Jody, and that little Buffy with her Mrs. Beasley. Plus, Sebastian Cabot is brilliant and Brian Keith was hot in a husky always on the verge of being an abusive surrogate parent way.
7. “Celebrity Poker Showdown” –Very few celebreality shows are as engaging…and hilarious. (And if reality shows don’t count for this list, replace my request with “Taxi”.)
8. “Arrested Development” – which actually should be higher on the list…. That’ll teach ‘em. Well, okay, my little opinion won’t teach crap, but….
9. “Head of the Class” —Say what you will, but I not only loved Howard Hessman and then Billy Connelly, but I came to regard the AP class members as fondly as so many (too many) regard the cast of “…90210” or “Malibu Shores.”
10. “Thirty Something” – I liked it.
And, while I have run out of slots, where the hell is “Identity”? And don’t get me started on those shows cancelled way too prematurely: “Raines”; “Andy, P.I.”; and “Thank God You’re Here”, among others.
What a Character! Top 10 Creepiest TV Characters
What a Character! Top 10 Creepiest TV Characters by Roxanne McDonald
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As promised, here is the next top 10 compilation. |
They make your skin crawl…, or they make you want to crawl out of your skin. They are diabolical, duplicitous, or just so damned dumb that their evil demon crap makes for much discussion around the water cooler or the roach wagon.
At MSNBC, the writers offer detailed rationale for the choices they make for their Top 10 Scariest, so check out more than just the list.
1. Charles Montgomery Burns, “The Simpsons”
2. Cartman, South Park”
3. Arvin Sloane, “Alias”
4. John Locke, “Lost”
5. T-Bag, “Prison Break”
6. Emily Gilmore, “Gilmore Girls”
7. The monkey in Chris Giffin’s closet, “Family Guy”
8. Silvio Dante, “The Sopranos”
9. Mandy, “24”
10. The entire supporting cast of “Desperate Housewives”
Buddy TV has the Top 10 TV Characters You Love to Hate, complete with pics, too.
1. Simon Cowell, American Idol
2. Ben the Other, “Lost”
3. President Charles Logan, “24”
4. Cartman, “South Park”
5. Dr. Will Kirby, “Big Brother” 2 & 7
6. Agent Mahone, “Prison Break”
7. Jack Donaghy, “30 Rock”
8. Wes Bergmann, “Real World”
9. Chef Gordon Ramsay, “Hell’s Kitchen”
10. Jack Rudolph, “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip”
What a Character! Top Ten Sexiest TV Characters
What a Character! Top Ten Sexiest TV Characters by Roxanne McDonald
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Part V of the tendentious top ten lists…. |
Like all the former lists, this one is subjective. Maybe more so. I likes what I likes, and that includes male characters who remind me of a first love or who look as good from behind as they do from the front, when they are expressing profound emotion or just making a simple gesture of tearing off a shirt…sigh.
Female characters are sexy when they are borderline bitch, when they are equally tough and demanding of respect and soft enough without the Vaseline lens to call for a
double-take. Ours, not the camera’s.Amidst this select criteria I have compiled lists for those characters over a span of 15 or so television years, have not remembered every hottie over time, and therefore ask that I don’t get comments about how I have missed a particular all-time sexiest character. I am already kicking myself as I read other lists (at Austin360.com, Softpedia, and Wanderlist, for starters).
Top Ten Sexiest Male TV Characters
What a Character! Part III Top Ten Reality TV Characters
What a Character! Part III Top Ten Reality TV Characters by Roxanne McDonald
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Another installment of the Top Ten lists…since fitting them all on one list is impossible! |
This top ten list is unique in a couple of ways. First, we have to suspend disbelief, stretching that as far as to accept “real” people as “characters”—not fictional constructs but entertaining and popular enough…. Second, there are criteria for casting the reality television folk as characters, so why not follow it to some degree?
The Criteria
While Jennifer Pozner in her Ms. article, “The Unreal World,” says the “primary criteria to qualify as a reality- TV Prince is a firm ass and a firmer financial portfolio, and while “Dog Days” producers went for “personality, character, sense of humor and drama”…for the dogs they cast, more specific criteria is set by casting directors the world over:
David Carr, in his piece called “Casting Reality TV no Longer a Hunch…,” reports on what Rob LaPlante, casting director of “The Apprentice,” sees as must-haves: ”These are the people who are the narrators of our show: They have to be interesting, have to be believable.”
InstantCast.com went out to ask what the criteria is, and were told, for example, by Sarah Mahoney, Associate
Producer at Stage 29 Productions, they want people a) who can “hold an hour of TV;” b) who have “something about them that people want to watch;” c) who have fresh faces; d) who can speak well [be understandable]; e) who have energy; f) who make us laugh.
Further, finds InstantCast.com, for competition reality shows (which I’m thinking is most if not all of them), one criterion is that the chosen will be drama kings and queens—for drama=conflict, they remind us, and those reality people who “will naturally conflict when you put them in the same room or house together” are shoe-ins.
Lynn Mason-Pattnosh of Suite 101 describes casters and directors’ checklist as having requirements such as “television friendly,” talented, attractive, possessing quirks, and having a “great personal story to share with an audience!”
And MTV, the network that started the reality TV thing, really, had a recent criteria that included a cast that was “diverse” and “representative of kids’ hopes and dreams today….”
So we can put all these criteria together; or, we can just name who we found the most loveable, the most despicable, the watchable.
What a Character! Part II Top Ten Comic TV Characters
What a Character! Part II Top Ten Comic TV Characters by Roxanne McDonald
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Okay, I started this top ten obsession, then I went into top ten comic characters and realized there is NO WAY I can fit all my favorites in just ten piddly slots…so I have split the category into sub categories, cheating all the way. |
I can’t help it.
Now (+ re-runs) Top Ten Male Characters
Kramer, Seinfeld
George Costanza, Seinfeld
Chandler Bing, “Friends”
Bernie Mac, “The Bernie Mac Show”
Dr. Perry Cox, “Scrubs”
Michael, “The Office”
Red Foreman, “That Seventies Show;”
Niles Crane, “Frasier”
Arthur Spooner, “King of Queens”
Doug Heffernan, “King of Queens”
[with a shout out to “Everybody Loves Raymond,” “My Name
is Earl;” “Malcolm in the Middle,” and “Arrested Development” men; Jack Donaghy, “30 Rock;” and Jackie Chiles and Frank Costanza, Seinfeld —all of them, arrrgh!]
What a Character! Top TV Characters of All Time
What a Character! Top TV Characters of All Time by Roxanne McDonald
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The other day I was referencing Kramer and Dr. Perry Cox as two of my most favorite TV characters with whom to do a criteria comparison for impersonators trying to nail their subjects [on “The Next Best Thing…”]. It then struck me as very important to get my opinion in on who the best TV characters of all time are…. |
To make this more than a myopic, or one-dimensional, or self-serving, task, I decided to check out what others think when it comes to the most supreme of TV characters. Some offer rationale. Some include “rules”. Some just name names…or…name names! [Ten absolutely irredeemable points for the one who can identify the top character who said that.]
Whitney Matheson’s
At “Pop Candy,” USA Today, Whitney Matheson names some of her favorites as follows
(which, she reminds us, are in no particular order).
Chloe O’Brian, “24″
Rupert Giles, “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”
Sonny Corinthos, “General Hospital”
Jesse McKenna, “Life Goes On”
Ed Chigliak, “Northern Exposure”
Florida Evans, “Good Times”
Bill Haverchuck, “Freaks and Geeks”
Leland Palmer, “Twin Peaks”
Theo Huxtable, “The Cosby Show”
Angela Chase, “My So-Called Life”
Top 10 TV Comedies of 2006—Like I Know; Oh, Like You Do…
Top 10 TV Comedies of 2006—Like I Know; Oh, Like You Do… by Roxanne McDonald
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Which TV comedies make for the best collectors’ sets and gifts? |
While it is the cusp of the new year; while I just finished making gift lists and purchases for friends who are as fanatical about TV as I; and while fantasizing about TV comedy DVD collections I would like to own, I decided to investigate the top sellers—the most popular TV comedies.
In some cases, the comedies are mixed in with the rankings of other TV programming—reality, crime, drama, and nonfiction/educational programming. So, for instance, on TV.com (which I think might have a younger demographic and a bent toward certain broadcast channels over others), Scrubs did make it into the catch-all top ten (ranking number 10), The Office is ranked 24, Seinfeld is all the way down at number 41, and My Name is Earl is at 42.
But on other lists, where comedy is ranked separately, the reigning funny men and women get a better shot. Mike Durrett at About.com suggests such DVD collections as The Complete Monty Python’s Flying Circus (which I gave my friend last Xmas), Absolutely Fabulous (which I am
watching in marathon as I write this, New Year’s Eve, 2006), and The Simpsons first season.
Buddy TV finds the top ten comedies on TV right now (and therefore not always or yet available on DVD—dammit) are as follows:
#1 The Office
#2 South Park
#3 Curb Your Enthusiasm
#4 How I Met Your Mother
#5 Family Guy
#6 Scrubs
#7 My Name is Earl
#8 The Simpsons
#9 30 Rock
#10 Two and a Half Men
As the writers at BuddyTV and others of course concede, comedy (and the tastes for it) is subjective. So I propose my own list of top ten TV comedies for 2006:
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