Smell a Bravo TV Spin-off Comin On
Smell a Bravo TV Spin-off Comin On–with Bravo TV Contestants Dale and Jack by Roxanne McDonald
 |
It is so awesome that “Top Chef” and “Project Runway” contestants Dale Levitsky and Jack Mackenroth have met and fallen for each other; and the possibilities are endless for this talented twosome. |
“The Top Chef 3: Miami” Dale Levitsky, who made it exceptionally far into the competition (was a finalist), is a self-taught chef and consultant out of Chicago, Illinois. He’s the one with the brilliant sense of humor.
“Project Runway 4″ Jack Mackenroth, who is still (as far as we know) battling with scissors, is a triple titlist in several disciplines, a degreed designer from Parsons School of Design, and menswear store owner in New York, New York. He’s the one with the pretty smile that will go nicely with his new love’s cracking wise.
And, believe it or not, they did not meet working the Bravo TV circuit. (That actually makes sense, as Dale would have been well beyond the competition process as Jack began his…provided there was no pre-taping overlap.) Anyway, Dale and Jack apparently met via MySpace communiqués.
Dale Takes it Like a Man
Top Chef’s Dale Levitsky Takes it Like a Man by Roxanne McDonald
 |
Congratulations to tendentious Hung Huynh, but condolences to Dale Levitski, who should have won…just because I said so. |
Okay, granted, concessions go out to such writers as Josh Wolk of EW.com, who reminds us you can’t taste
personalities. (And forgiveness to the same who said that it was a surprise twist to learn Hung was friends with Marcel, for maybe Josh didn’t watch the pre-season teaser episode.)
But we at home don’t have the privilege of tasting anything but. And if we had our bets counted, I would have bankrolled Dale. Yeah, I would have been broke this morning, but I would still have gotten the satisfaction of backing a true winner.
And no offense to the beautiful and poised Jennifer Aniston look-alike, Casey Thompson, but were personality and impressive changing for the better the criteria, I would go with the the sometimes underdog, ofttimes dark horse Dale.
So he wrecked the team tarts. He learned to stay clear of experimental desserts, so that by the finale, when the three finalist cheftestants were given the surprise added challenge to cook a fourth dish (without the assistance of their celebrity sous chefs and with no spare prep time, per se), Dale acknowledged he wasn’t going there with the puffed-out pastries.
So he was missing the goat cheese for the goat cheese tarts (trying for tart success for second time in the season) ; he used his finesse to pull off a back-up dish that blew the judges away.
(read more…)
Top Chef Kinda Bland
Top Chef Kinda Bland—Among Other Things by Roxanne McDonald
|
And besides being virtually free of that tension we so love to watch, “Top Chef” is also getting whack with inconsistent airing practices. |
Unless I am losing my mind along with my ability to keep tight reins on my very full TV-watching schedule, another
show or station gets coo-coo with the changing it up of regularly scheduled episodes.
I’m gonna sound like somebody’s worn out mother here, for a sec, but if I have said it once, I have said it a hundred times: quit fooling with the schedule! Not only do we viewers with ADD get all thrown off, but those of us with pre-set schedules have no time for this nonsense and are equally disheartened when we sit through re-runs and suddenly MISS a new installment.
Okay, so I succumb to that which is/are holiday changes, seasonal changes, promotional/stalling strategies that include running a reunion before the season even ends changes, and save the show in spite of competing, pre-empting programming changes.
But what the…? What can I do, how can I recover, when the new episode is not aired when none of the above are interfering? “Top Chef” does this previouslys thing on Bravo at 3, 4, 5, and 6 p.m. Then it has a new episode at 7 p.m. and again at 10 p.m. on the same night [Wednesdays in California].
Last night, I had to watch “Last Comic Standing” finale, and knowing that would run late, re-scheduled myself to watch the new “Top Chef” episode at ten instead of seven. But at ten when I tuned in to Bravo, I saw them on a plane, Hung not helping, CJ getting slammed for the worst broccoli side dish the judges had ever had in all four seasons, and Brian, once again, getting poor marks for his lobster. Why he insists on sabotaging himself with that lobster choice so often made me realize that, hey, duh, this is last week’s episode! [Well, okay, I caught that fact as soon as Padma showed up at the loft in her PJs….]
(read more…)
Neener Neener Neener
Neener Neener Neener by Roxanne McDonald
|
I was wondering when the nasty Nancies would begin. Now I kinda wish I hadn’t asked for it. |
God, SHUT upppp.
Cheftestants, Howie is not here to cater your pity parties. Sara N., there was a REASON he didn’t want you putting
effing ice in the milkshakes. You weren’t trying to work some roadside diner patrons for bonus bucks by using what is technically WATER as an extender. CJ, Howie doesn’t, as he very plainly told you, doesn’t need anybody to sign off on his methodology or social etiquette.
True, he doesn’t need us speaking up for him, either.
Okay, while I’m at it….
Hung, get over yourself and the overly ambitious, tendentious moves. Ben and Jerry’s has pretty much gotten away with every possible flavor combination already, and cauliflower is just, well, silly. Cauliflower ears, cauliflower cake, maybe…. But ew. Did you and Marcel not only study together but hang out in the treehouse between classes and come up with ways to reinvent the tried and true? Tempura flakes? You’re a tempura flake. Okay, that was uncalled for.
And while we’re in the ice cream segment, what the hell, Coldstone, was that commercial supposed to do, really, besides make us want to go back to the eighties so we could say, “Gag me with a spoon”? A primate out of control, a voiceover saying that maybe the strawberry blonde could soothe the savage beast, and the layover slogan, “Do you love it?” Gee, allude to Paris Hilton [or Nicole Ritchie, really, as Hilton is not strawberry but blanched blonde] much?
Okay, I’ll leave Casey alone for the time being, as the faux pas sriricha overload could have worked [like having Fireball (jawbreaker) icecream, I’m thinking], but has nothing on the prima donna I always separate work clothes from dress clothes to keep my cooks from knowing my bi-ness attitude.
The guest judge, Gavind Armstrong, will be horrified to watch what you do with the privilege of being a “Top Chef” contestant.
Not all of you, just, mostly, okay, mostly Sara N.
After Dale wins the immunity for serving up a refined peach cobbler and candied pecans Coldstone concept, and after being subjected to a stone cold trick—being told you all had the night off but finding, once you got all glam, that you would actually be working the party you had hoped to decompress with—you are now issued the Elimination Challenge:
300 bucks and thirty minutes to shop, and an hour and a half to prep and cook, the challenge is to feed and please the post-Nikki club partiers. Now, first, come ON, people. When you’re drunk, shit on a shingle will go down nicely. So the menu is no big deal, really. And Howie and CJ on the Orange Team get this, saying easy and fast. Fried food for drunkards. Okay.
Second, the clothing is not such an issue, as you will be covering with aprons, #1, and #2, Casey, your cooks are not here tonight, so your secret manner of dress is not an issue—or shouldn’t be—and I wonder if they even care all that much. Course what they will likely care more about once they watch this episode is what an odd little Jennifer Aniston lookalike thing you are with your quirky need to control how they see you thing.
But Casey’s scowls—which did little more than delight Padma further—aside, the little Miss Priss Sara N. just had to get a frying pan up side the head.
Somebody Explain it to Me
Somebody Explain it to Me by Roxanne McDonald
|
What is the mid-season interruption all about, really? |
It is called the “Top Chef Spectacular” and it has come in the middle of the season’s competition.
Now, I think of these shows as reunion shows, and I think of reunions as after-the-fact.
So what’s the deal with that? Are they all in need of a break? Is it mandatory that the production staff get a week off after so many weeks? Is it some sweeps week teaser or bid?
Maybe it’s an exercise in narcissism, or to hype how popular the show is, what with those submitting questions including renowned chef Jean-Georges Vongerichten and revered, illustrious “Project Runway” mentor Tim Gunn.
Chef Jean-Georges didn’t really ask a question so much as send in a video clip of him saying how much he likes Lia and hopes she does well. Umm, either this is the first evidence of how ridiculously old the reunion material is because it was done in advance, or, as someone—I think the host—said, Chef Jean-Georges doesn’t watch “Top Chef” or didn’t watch last week. Whatever, it only serves to piss me off more that we can’t get back to the competition.
Though…, Tim Gunn’s question was funny and fun, what with his staunch appearance combined with that snide expression as he asks whether Stephen from season one “was…real?”
We Cannot All Be Fire Signs
We Cannot All Be Fire Signs by Roxanne McDonald
|
Top Chef Astrology: Does it Matter? |
Does it matter that thus far, a Dragon and a Dog have won Top Chef? Does the fact that Lia and Casey are Aries and
Aquarius signs, respectively, contribute to how they became “friends for life? Does it make sense that Tom Colicchio was born under the sign of the Tiger?
I’ll leave the speculation to you, and offer just some surface research details here (not including already eliminated cheftestants):
By Western Astrological Terms
Brian Malarkey – born September 26, 1972 – Libra (air)
Casey Thompson – born January 21, 1978 – Aquarius (air)
Chris Jacobsen (“CJ”) – born October 1, 1975 – Libra (air)
Dale Levitsky – born April 3, 1973 – Aries (fire)
Howie Kleinberg – born July 31, 1975 –Leo (fire)
Hung Hyunh – born January 25, 1978 – Aquarius (air)
Joey Paulino – born May 31, 1975 – Gemini (water)
Sara Mair – born February 14, 1973 – Aquarius (air)
Sara Nguyen – born July 25, 1981 – Leo (fire)
Tre Wilcox –born July 7, 1976 – Cancer (water)
No Running in the Kitchen!
No Running in the Kitchen! by Roxanne McDonald
|
And preferably, Hung, could you not fling your knives about? |
Cocky Hung gets knocked down not once (during the Quickfire Challenge), not twice (during the Elimination Challenge), but three times (when Chef Colicchio admonishes him for whipping his knives around haphazardly, almost
cutting fellow cheftestants Casey).
Humble Howie makes his mark, winning the Elimination Challenge and taking home the prize of some really fine wine.
And Joey gets justified with a Quickfire win.
Seems like that was all there was to the fifth installment of “Top Chef”. No real rallying, no rambunctious head-shaving, no tragic falls (though Lia would beg to differ, as she jokes—was it joking?—that they have let the greatest chef of all time go).
The Quickfire Challenge hosted guest chef Maria Frumkin, who could make ANYthing sound “cuhwee-a-teef” with that beautiful accent: the goal of this challenge to take on one of the most time-saving innovations of the 21st century—frozen pie crust.
In 30 minutes, come up with the most creative and ambitious dish.
You know that is going to be a deadly prompt for Hung, who is already boasting that with his choice, banana and chocolate mousse pie, how can you go wrong?
Well, for starters, you can not give the ingredients time to set and not then make odd explanations that blame the lesser quality chocolate….
Running pie. Runny pie. The runs. Okay OKAY. You get it. It gets trumped for a change.
Dale does a strawberry and saffron free-form tart, as well as a salmon something—probably encrusted; that’s a popular adjective.
Sara M. so goes for the rabbit.
And Joey has some or no (couldn’t catch that, or caught that he has some experience and is therefore feeling good—even though later in this episode he says something about NO pastry experience and I am way more confused than I should be , being sober and all) pastry experience so he is going for a trio of tarts; while Howie gives us a lesson on how some desserts are made by dessert cooks and some made by pastry chefs and there is a difference.
Tre is trying to find his cutting edge, and adds little triangles and stars, to be different.
Great for Blind Diners
Great for Blind Diners by Roxanne McDonald
|
“Top Chef” dishes turn out to be a mess…for the sighted. |
Sophisticated dishes and matching drinks make for the first, the Quickfire, challenge, judged by guest mixologist Jamie Walker advertising, er, assessing the Bombay Sapphire Gin plates and coordinated drinks:
The chefs draw knives, choose a drink, then must make an appetizer that aligns in flavor and, apparently, textures?
Hung matches a raspberry and mint martini with a salmon in sour scream lemon balsamic sauce.
Casey matches a strawberry and balsamic rickey with French toast baguette with seared pecan crusted fois gras.
Joey matches a roasted pineapple and vanilla martini with carmelized diver sea scallop and jasmine risotto
CJ makes a lemon bomb and matching carmelized watermelon with avocado and squid. What? I am having a tough time wrapping brain around this one. I’m still on the French toast as an appetizer.
Tre makes a strawberry basil martini and partners it with sumac and black pepper seared halibut with smoked sea salt watermelon
Dale does a Sapphire sherry with a seared fois gras, candied parsnips, and orange and rice wine gastrique.
And Howie matches a chili martini with balsamic glazed diver scallop with an arugula (?), blueberry, and grape salad.
The others are not clearly described, or if they are, I am busy with my head in the toilet, now getting over chili and herbs in my sweet drinks
Complex Frank and Beans and Too Much Pea
Complex Frank and Beans and Too Much Pea by Roxanne McDonald
|
Egos are not so much the issue this week (yet); instead, the biggest concern is how to handle revitalizing hot dogs and beans. |
First the morning blahs and blabs: one chef is not a morning person, another is recounting the past, and several are in their own sleepy-leave-me-alone worlds.
Then the Quickfire: guest judge (or one of them) will be Chef Alfred Portale, a superhero chef, writer of books, and owner of something bar and grill in NYC. The challenge is to make an amazing dish (disappointing description/prompt, really)
out of the fresh shellfish variety they each scoop mounds of from a massive saltwater tank. Thirty minutes, ordered selection process…, you know the drill.
I won’t go through every single who did what and who said what during the grab and grab, but will say Micah started right in yakking about “conk” (which I guess is how you pronounce it when you’re a high sniff end chef, though the shell collectors back home always said conch, enunciating the ch sound…oh, well).
She keeps asking others if they are using the conk—maybe just so she can say the word conk repeatedly.
And, oh, one other pointed moment: Hung scoops so aggressively that someone yells out for him to save some for the rest of them, and then is so rambunctious as he wings the netful out and over the edge that he splashes Padma and flings a crayfish onto the floor…which he just shrugs at and walks away from. Somebody speaks up, and he asks what they want him to do. And Lia says, “Clean up after yourself; that’s what I want you to do.”
This is evidently something that puts Lia on edge and that by lecturing gives Lia an edge, and it is also something of the true challenge for Hung: to keep calm enough to merit that praise he has gotten so far.
The real part of the challenge for most of them, though, is only having 30 minutes to not only cook something amazing but to clean the stuff—which in any other setting would take at least 30 minutes alone. Several let us know this is a huge problem.
And I love the contradictions. This week’s winner is when just-flung Hung describes his disgust at everybody throwing around the wine…. Okayyyy.
Let’s get to the noshing:
CJ- pan-roasted fruits, shaved cauliflower, and saffron/paprika vinaigrette over a mélange of shellfish
Casey- scallops, mussels, and cockles over linguini, with cilantro bread and truffle butter (in 30 minutes???!!!)
Tre- poached shellfish, with summer corn and grilled leek compote
Sara N.- ? seafood medley in a shell
Micha- conch salad with sky juice
Brian- “3 Rivers” (rivers? You mean seas? Or maybe that’s the wine) scallops, clams, mussels, and crayfish (sorry, crawfish) sautéed in butterne, butter, garlic, chives, and wine; oyster mignonette; conch toast
Lia has a trio- raw bay scallop with lemon zest; cockles in tomato; capellini with crayfish butter
Sara M.- cornmeal-crusted conch in citrus butter; mango and cilantro mignonette
Camille- crayfish and mussels in hibiscus tea-flavored sauce; tarragon-encrusted mussels
Hung-“East/West”: scallops, mussels, with croutons
Dale- spicy Italian sausage and scallops in tomato sauce, topped with a sunny egg
Howie- ceviche of conch with scallops, crawfish, and mussels, with crispy plantain chips and greens.
Least impressive for Chef Alfred are Micha’s (which was too sparing on the CONK! All that chatter…); Camille’s (which was wrecked by the overpowering tea flavor); and Tre’s (which also had too little shellfish…and too much corn).
Most impressive are Howie’s and CJ’s, and, the winner’s, Brian’s—which Chef Alfred describes as simple but smart; a progression from raw to cooked; thoughtful and well-presented…a complete presentation.
This of course exempts Brian from elimination, and lends to an overly confident risk-taking on his part…as we shall soon see. (He tells us in interview that he will not take this as a time to relax, and will, instead, keep giving them big, bad, bold dishes. If that’s not foreshadowing….)
Too Much Salt for a Top Chef
Too Much Salt for a Top Chef by Roxanne McDonald
|
Either I am too far behind (which is quite possible) in doing write-ups, or “Top Chef” is so mellow this season that I forget to do recaps when episodes air. |
I suspect it is a little of both. So my ADD-burdened failure to keep up aside, where’s the intransigence? Where’s the egocentrism? The season three first two/three episodes are really short on in-fighting, back-biting, and all that
sociodynamic good stuff we sickly rely upon in reality TV programming.
Nevertheless, some good meals are provided the judges, some really weak performances reveal who will likely not be the next Top Chef, and some interesting race moments inevitably occur. So, I’ll just ramble instead of re-capping for episode two.
For instance, how is it that a Top Chef contender—who has, I presume, gone through several stages of auditioning, can serve up a gourmet dish that is too salty? I can understand how a meal might be too high-end or not high-end enough, given how the criteria can be so subjective.
But I can’t wrap my brain around a skilled and talented chef who over-salts. From what I learned back when I was a kid and learning to bake and cook the hard way (by way of several horrid mistakes), one waits for the dish to set, or cook up, until tasting for the salt quotient…as salt takes awhile to appear, or comes on stronger the more time it steeps/sets.
Either the haste is making for fast-food level saltiness, or the chef has a lazy palate? (You know, how as we get older, for instance, we taste differently, or depending upon what gender we are, we have a keener or duller sense of smell.
Okay, enough of that. Geesh, this is what I use my spare time driving to the post office for…thinking about the nuances and possibilities of something as simple as NAcL.
Bourdain Just not Impressed by that Somebitch
Bourdain Just not Impressed by that Somebitch by Roxanne McDonald
|
“Top Chef: Miami” premieres, sending a potential favorite but pitifully under-prepared chef home. |
The new cheftestants arrive in a colorful display of all that is Miami—palm trees, sun, bright and pastel colors, beach and beach dwellers, etc.
They each have something to say about their methodology, cooking attitude or aptitude, or the competition.
Dale Levitski is featured saying his way is to “keep it simple, keep it true,” and that winning would mostly mean validation.
Clay Bowen thinks he is the dark horse, here to represent the oft-neglected South in cuisine. (Hey, my grandmother always had iced tea and ate crackers in milk…does that count?)
Joey Paulina is bringing out the New Yawk accent as he states the obvious—that he is here to win—and the maybe not so obvious but implied—that he intends to be, is, the biggest ^%$@@ here.
Hung Hunyh (who played to the cameras during the Top Chef Smackdown) will likely beg to differ, for he says HE is the craziest and loudest one there.
And Lia Bardeen waxes philosophical with the discussion of all of the competition as being chefs, sous chefs, or owners of their own businesses…and how even one with no experience could take this thing…provided the drive, etc., etc..
As they do a meet and greet at Johnny Versace’s former manse, Padma and Tom come out and welcome them, and Tom stresses how he is not a mentor but a head judge whose job it is to check in on their progress and report back.
Party’s over, announces Padma, and with that begins the competition…with the first Quickfire Challenge.
While of course every single one has to make and does make an amuse bouche with the remaining party foods and using only the existing plastic utensils, we don’t see every dish (though I doubt this is a typical indication—that those featured in the editing are those who will be the longest standing).
Micah has purposely avoided oysters, cause everyone goes for the expensive stuff her catering experience tells her. So instead, she creates what she calls Tuscan Sushi Revisited.
Howie whips up a poached shrimp and heirloom tomatoes in a champagne vinaigrette.
Dale does beef tenderloin with blue cheese and sliced radish.
Sara M. does an oyster with pineapple something-ette and poached salmon.
Hung slams it into overdrive from the start, with a hamachi, grapes, creamy egg rice, chili sauce, olives, and pesto.
Tre also creates a hamachi with avocado and strawberries, also using champaigne in his vinaigrette and serving it in an oyster shell—even though I am not quite wrapping my brain around that.
Clay, poor Clay, is a bit green in the amuse bouche area, according to the self-proclaimed know-it-all Casey—who says she knows amuse bouche and knows it is the start and knows it sets the tone of each meal and… (there’s whun in effary bunch, sigh). Clay uses a hollowed out apple as the serving device, and fills it with fruit gazpacho.
Tom was slightly amused…by the offerings, that is: his favorites are Micah’s, Sara’s, and Hung’s; his least favs are Dale’s, Tre’s (needs more acidic), and Clay’s (way too big). And best of the bunch is Micah’s.
But my favorite (chef, that is) is Clay. Back at the gorgeous penthouse with the wrap-around deck view and all, Clay asks the others how coo-coo they thought he was with that first offering, than says, “Hey, I’m from Mississippi. Just pick it up and eat that somebitch.”
Gohohoho, Clay! You know he is not long for the competition, and will be yet another to contribute to what he had first said was a sad underrepresentation of the South in the culinary world.
Yep.
Whole Lotta Smacking Going On
Whole Lotta Smacking Going On (but, The Bitches Can Cook!) by Roxanne McDonald
|
The Top Chefs from seasons one and two smack each other around (verbally); the judges feast and smack lips over more than just the fare; and the new season three contestants gets to talk smack before they have even earned the right to do so. |
Just when you thought it was safe to…, goes the saying. To hype the upcoming season of “Top Chef,” Bravo’s popular cook-off series invites back Stephen, Harold, Tiffany, Dave, Ilan, and Marcel to compete against each other for 20,000-dollar prize the winning chef will give to his or her charity of choice.
Immediately miserable are they when they hear they will have to endure yet another Quickfire—this time to establish head chefs for each season/team (and to give one team some kind of advantage). The challenge, to literally cook eggs with one hand tied behind one’s back. Two eggs, ten minutes, one hand…. “Shit,” says Sam.
It was fun to watch Ilan use his mouth on the emersion blender, but it was nicer to watch Sam and others giving each other a hand. (Yep, I said it.)
Stephen goes for the perfect omelet.
Tiffany sets a precedent for herself with parmesan, making parmesan, herb, and cream poached eggs.
Ilan does not do what we expect him to (leaving Ode to the Spanish Breakfast a crack on Marcel’s part, this time). Rather, he does an egg-white omelet with béarnaise sauce.
Harold does parmesan shirred eggs with soy butter.
Elia does panko fried eggs with tarragon and paprika.
Sam does a psychotic dish of fried eggs over pickled cranberries and cherries, cum pine nut vinaigrette.
Dave does Asian spiced scrambled eggs, which Tom will say are as always with Dave, bursting with flavor.
And Marcel, Marcel does his wise-ass thing, not only offering an Ode to the Spanish Breakfast (a jab at Ilan) but adding a saffron foam. He smirks. “What better way to approach a smackdown…?”
The smirky, post show smackee (Marcel was beat up by some goons after the show) pulls it off, however, and gets the title of Head Chef for season/team 2. Stephen, seemingly as stuck-up, gets the opposing title. If his team wins, 20k will go to the Susan G. Komen Foundation; if Marcel’s team takes it, the money goes to Share Our Strength, a hunger fund charity (which makes sense, really).
And they are off. Oops, forgot to note that Stephen got the best of the bake-off accolade, so his team will have the advantage:
That advantage is an extra 100 to spend on a meal for 20. Season 1, then, has 300 to spend on a four course meal; season 2 has 200 to spend on the same for the same. Stephen’s group decides on using the money for wine, but I was thinking the third or fourth time the damned Smackdown/All-Stars episode aired how really, the wine benefits all the players, as the same people are eating all the foods they are slopping down with the wine after.
Anyway.
Top Chef Miami to Bring the Summertime Sizzle
Four-star All-stars Showdown before Top Chef 3
Four-star All-stars Showdown before Top Chef 3 by Roxanne McDonald
|
Before you settle in with your bologna sandwiches and beer for a season of “Top Chef 3”—or, as it is now named, “Top Chef Miami”—take note that on June 6, 2007, one episode will make for “Top Chef: 4-Star All-Stars.” |
According to Jenn Bresler of Reality News Online,
Celebrity Spider, and others, on Wednesday, June 6, 2007, the week before “Top Chef Miami” begins, season one and two contestants and winners will do a cook-off show. The “Top Chef: 4-Star All-Stars” hour-long episode will yield a truly “top” chef, while the winner’s prize money of $20,000
will go to his or her charity of choice.The following former contestants will compete, season one facing off against season two:
Top Chef Double Disappointments
Top Chef Double Disappointments by Roxanne McDonald
 |
What is it with the finalists who are so tacky that they turn on fellow competitors at the eleventh hour? |
We remember Laura, on Bravo’s “Project Runway”—how she accused Jeffrey Sebelia of cheating when he produced more and better than she for the final runway show (and when she wasn’t even the astute one: it was her mother who was visiting Jeffrey’s mother and came to Laura with the suggestion to accuse him of cheating).
And of course we recall—as it happened just a couple of weeks ago—how Cliff pulled the bullying act on Marcel, pinning him down in attempts to team shave his head (though the others refused).
Now we have the one who was too snooty for my tastes to begin with, Elia, standing at the close of the penultimate episode in front of the judges and muttering how Marcel cheated all the way through the competition.
Okay…what? First, while Marcel was equally dislikeable in most episodes, he was to my knowledge never accused of, seen, or involved with cheating. Wasn’t that the long dead in the kitchen water professor or someone—who got the free case of lychees by stashing them under the shopping cart where the checker failed to notice?
Next, wasn’t Elia the only one who was kind to Marcel? Okay, she concedes to this in interview, but when did she witness him cheating? Oh, wait, she explains that because she was using (or more likely, about to use, thinking of using) a particular burner [since there always seemed to be a shortage of stovetop units] and because Marcel noted that the pan was not doing anything but sitting there and he announced he was moving her cheese or whatever…that, to Elia, equals cheating.
What in Hell Were They Thinking? They Weren’t: Top Cheftestants Risk it all with Rowdy Actions
What in Hell Were They Thinking? They Weren’t: Top Cheftestants Risk it all with Rowdy Actions by Roxanne McDonald
 |
They were all pretty giddy, but Cliff ruined it for himself when he acted on his silly, his willy nilly, and of course his pissy. |
We the audience have expressed earlier dislike for Marcel, who with his superiority thing turned us off.
Fellow Top Cheftestants disliked Marcel for his lofty attitude, his childishness (as Sam described it), and his aggravation of Betty, then Ilan, then Cliff.
But while Marcel may have alienated everyone but his mother, he was also treated so badly that the producers of Top Chef had to step in. After the successful Quickfire
Challenge, wherein the guest chef Cliff called a “demigod” of cooking, Eric Ripert, deemed their creations beautifully balanced and “perfection”, the final five were already amped. But after the Elimination Challenge, wherein while they were doing the usual amount of in-fighting and a couple of usual tragedies (fish falling on the floor, chocolate not tempered correctly) occurred, the final fibve were so well received that they went back to their loft and commenced drinking. (read more…)
Plugging those Sponsors Instead of Each Other: Top Chef Episode 9
Plugging those Sponsors Instead of Each Other: Top Chef Episode 9 by Roxanne McDonald
|
Thanks to a deep love of mayo but no thanks to a line cook living–the more humble of Top Cheftestants says “seeya”. |
Marcel is still ostracized, and while the other five hang out, he isolates on the rooftop, saying how his company is better than any of theirs…and sharing a rap with the cameras, though we hope he is not performing for a music contract in case “Top Chef” doesn’t pan out for him.
Guest chef Mike Yakura and Padma introduce the Kraft Quickfire Challenge—explaining that the chefs must execute ideas quickly this week, by creating a Kraft gourmet snack with Kraft mayonnaise, Kraft zesty Italian dressing, and/or Kraft barbecue sauce.
Sam interviews that he went to culinary school; his parents paid a ton of money; and he came out with a “deep love for mayo”…which serves him well in this challenge as he is one of the two winners—for, says Yakura, bringing it all the way through. The second winner is Marcel (finally), whom
Yakura says created the most technical dish.
Since they are the winners, Marcel and Sam get to be the team leaders for the Elimination Challenge, which requires each team to open a restaurant in twenty-four hours in the yet to open (under heavy construction, still) Westfield Promenade Shopping Center. (Do we really need another shopping center?)
Sam chooses Ilan and Mike, and Marcel takes Elia and Cliff. Cliff is ornery; Ilan is ineffectual; and each team has some big complaints from the commenting diners and the judges.
Remaining Seven Top Cheftestants Commit the Seven Deadly Sins
Remaining Seven Top Cheftestants Commit the Seven Deadly Sins by Roxanne McDonald
|
In one of the most unique challenges yet, one which lends itself to the cheftestants’ natures, the remaining seven get lustful and greedy… and enraged. |
Not uncommon to human nature never mind to the battling Cheftestants, anger and envy, for instance, fit right in to the episode nine motif of “Top Chef.” Poor Marcel (whom we earlier disliked, I know) is the target for much of the vitriol, with Ilan and Sam jumping now expressing personal disdain—though Sam is typically quiet about it save in the interview room and in one confrontation at the market, while Ilan is taking stabs at Marcel’s sexual inexperience, his foam proliferation propensity, and his general dislikability.
First, however, the Top Chef contestants warm up to the
new challenges— and the blow out—with an equally unique Quickfire challenge: with guest Ted Allen, author of The Food You Want to Eat and several other books and consulting chef on “Quuer Eye…”, judging, and with Padma prompting them to appeal to four of the five senses the remaining seven choose knives, each with a specific and single color. They must prepare a dish based around the color chosen.
Mike gets orange, and cleverly chooses to prepare a salmon dish (the cleverness being in the fact that salmon is pink but turns orange once cooked), accompanied by carrot chips that impress both Ted and Padma. Elia draws white—which she is none too pleased about—but creates a dish of white Dover sole fillet with poached egg topper. Sam once again impresses with his yellow muffins and breakfast crudo salad, which judge Allen twice remarks delights in the commingling of salt and sour flavors.
Cliff is color-blind, but despite Marcel’s offer to help choose purple foods and despite his refusal, creates an eggplant and blackberry compote that also pleases the judges. Betty gets what Ted Allen says is the easy color to work with—green—but disappoints (and ends up in the bottom three) with a vegetable tamale, zucchini and asparagus apparently the predominant veggies with basil the prevailing herb.
Marcel draws the brown knife, much to his chagrin and Betty’s and others’ smirking. Still, he aims to triumph over this ugly color, creating a steak and egg concoction that one can only assume was intended as a breakfast or brunch fare, as he surrounds the main dish with a dish of floating coffee beans and grounds (which had “exploded” in the coffee pot (?) and which look really messy despite his intentions to incorporate the aroma (the olfactory sense) the diner can enjoy while eating…. Ted is not as moved as Marcel would hope.
Ilan, who drew the red knife, has done steak tartare with red taro chips, which Ted puts him in the bottom three for as well.
The creative opportunities are dwarfed by the in-fighting, which is less competitive in nature than personal. Ilan is relentless this week, taking over, evidently for Betty, who has tamed her direct attacks and relegates them to whispers to Ilan, carping on how Marcel has used foam in every single competition. The foam will be the star ammunition, evidently, for the judges attack Marcel for including it also in his seven deadly sin challenge (wherein he creates a “lustful” cherries tart and gelee…with foam), and once Ilan is busted for boosting his dish (gluttonous chocolate fudge dessert topped (?) with a third generation funnel cake [first just right in the kitchen too crispy then too soggy once Ilan tries to soften it with syrup]) and putting down Marcel’s cherry choice based on his trivial knowledge of cherries as libido decreasers….
Top Chef: If Their Cooking Isn’t Really Cutting it, What’s Keeping Them in the Competition?
Top Chef: If Their Cooking isn’t Really Cutting it, What’s Keeping Them in the Competition? by Roxanne McDonald
|
What’s making for the great equalizer—beside someone having to pack knives and go? Is it snob-appeal? Unrelenting charm? Last-minute saves? |
The last two episodes of Top Chef have revealed more failure than finesse. For the [cutting edge] Thanksgiving and following week’s episode, for instance, Michael’s dish of dish of bacon-wrapped corn (with parmesean) and his twice-baked potatoes isjudged (by guest critic Tony Bourdain and the other judges) as plain, as “perverse and inappropriate”, and as reason for guest Bourdain to ask Tom Colicchio “what kind of crack house he’s running”
(which makes Tom’s face red enough to add some much-needed color to the lackluster dishes); Michael’s after-dinner cheese plate seems to confuse the diners (though despite how “weird” his menu choices are Bourdain does give him kudos for having the guts to try to be different); and while the next week’s chicken and egg tacos go over well with surfers and the guest judge, Raphael, he did forget the eggs when he was prepping the dish to begin with.Likewise, Elia mixes an odd combination for a Quick Fire Challenge–of fruit salad and beef hash with celery, red pepper, and kidney beans and mint (?) dishes—a combo which Tom Colicchio finds strange; creates a Portobello and button mushroom crème with walnuts soup for Thanksgiving (which is so not “cutting edge, but which merely tastes better than anything else, so she wins); and then, much against the wishes of the others, of course, wins the following week’s challenge with an organic waffle with ham, cheese, fried egg and parsley, which surfers and judges alike find “simple, concise, and flavorful”—though Betty and Mia were top chef contenders, too.
Marcel, with a Turkey Roulade, stuffing, and cranberry gelee w/cranberry foam Thanksgiving fare is the only one who closely followed the challenge prompt—to make something “cutting edge”—but takes second to Elia’s soup anyway; though he redeems himself even further the following week with the watermelon/tomato trio that is not only beautiful in presentation but the winning dish, according to guest judge Raphael.
And Sam, with a grey, muddy mess he had originally tried to create as “Green Eggs and Ham”; Cliff, with first a radish salad with French-cut green beans and fennel is okay but then with a chicken apple sausage, sweet potato hash, and scrambled eggs dish is up for demotion when the presentation is sloppy and when the dish has sand in it (!); and Frank, with a rubbery and confusing combination of zucchini and salmon scramble and cannoli cream w/ strawberries and waffle pieces jars the judges—who not only dislike his final piece of overcooked eggs but why he has paired cannoli cream and eggs….see all three on the block and Frank booted.
Then what is working besides the barely-getting-by as a servable/edible dish?
Is it excuses and throat-cutting?
Michael’s ideas (for things like turducken) get shot down; and Elia denounces food so bad from Sam that she had to [in her whatever that is accent] “speed eet out.”
Out of the Mouths of Babes, er, Top Chef Judges
Out of the Mouths of Babes, er, Top Chef Judges by Roxanne McDonald
|
We know what we want in a dish, but what do the judges look for—or taste for–in a Top Chef creation? |
The permanent judges for Top Chef know quality: Tom Colicchio—according to writer and “burgeoning foodie” Leslie Seaton—is a multiple James Beard Award winner and founder of popular restaurants Grammercy Tavern and Craft in New York City. Gail Simmons is esteemed food expert for Food & Wine magazine and, according to the Top Chef official site (at BRAVO), a “tough critic”. (Simmons has also been a research and recipe assistant to Vogue food critic Jeffrey Steingarten, adds Seaton).
And while host Padma Lakshmi, supposedly an actress and award-winning writer, is apparently less qualified to judge but in a no less marginal way (her critiques are seriously considered during the deliberation sessions), each week a guest judge visits Top Chef and brings his or her palate and expertise to the challenges.
This season so far, for example, the cheftestants have performed for their culinary idols Suzanne Goin, owner of Los Angeles restaurants A.O.C. and Lucques, in week four; Stephen Bulgarelli, Executive Chef for TGIFridays, in week three; Chef Hiroshi Shima, in week two; and Harold Dieterle, winner of season one of Top Chef.
So what are some of the key characteristics of the winning foods? The positive adjectival comments reflect judges’ satisfaction with the “continuity” of a dish, as well, sometimes, as the “subtlety”. Often, they will seek out a “tight focus” in a dish that they deem is “clean”. If it is supposed to have it, a good dish will have a “great crunch”—as did the Vietnamese summer rolls Chef Shima judged. Or, as the firefighters commented on some of the competition meals, there is a “good-tasting flavor profile,” with “different layers of flavors.”
When meat is involved, especially that which will dry out when overcooked (like pork), they of course go for the “tender”, the “juicy”, and the one with “tremendous flavoring.” Another distinction—especially when the food is for a semi-fast food place—is whether the dish is “craveable”, an adjective introduced by Bulgarelli and picked up immediately by the other judges. And again, especially for the finer cuisines, the recipe should be “bright and clean”, as Suzanne Goin estimated a dish to be last week. (I can’t recall which one, sorry.)
(read more…)
 |
|
 |
 |
 |
|
 |
|
 |
|
 |
|
