Celebrity Bitch Club 6

Celebrity Bitch Club 6 by Roxanne McDonald

The celebs have to process the pain of having Dustin do what he did and doubt what he does and leave them in the lurch—which is good and bad and tormenting them all. Again.

And how much of the processing is recapitulated at Stacey’s urging is up to viewer speculation. I sometimes get torn between thinking the psychotherapist is just starting shit by bringing up old wounds; then at other times I recall the value of therapeutic “processing” and feel appreciative of how she is addressing (not pushing) issues of the past—be they those of the celebrity’s former years or those most recently busted out.

This week, the most recent debacle—Dustin eating a donut, hitting the porn circuit, alluding to Kimberly’s need for sex toy pleasure enhancement, doing his usual weigh-in joking and jabbing, and Harvey flipping out in response–is not only emotionally but practically intrusive.

The celebrities had fled the weigh-in one at a time, and worse, as Harvey had gone all verbal Rambo on Dustin, they had gotten more nervous and unraveled. My first response was that for God’s sake, Tiffany didn’t have to get so dramatic and actually take leave—all upset over an issue that really should not have upset her so much, as it had little to do directly with her and so why would she be so moody, damaged, or what have you.

But then, I thought more about the dynamic of episode 5: first, Harvey should have a better handle on his

mental/emotional quotient. If he is so healthy, so fit, and if food and exercise done right makes for a well-balanced being, then his response was excessive. Second, if you listen to the exact comment Dustin made about how “IF” Harvey challenged him he would take Harvey up on a match, then you might find that Harvey misinterpreted Dustin’s statement. That is, Dustin did NOT “threaten” Harvey. Harvey might therefore need to be the one who gets some therapy.
Third, then, it makes complete sense that Tiffany, for one, would have to take herself out of that scenario—one which replicated her childhood, catapulted her back to being the helpless, powerless child in the throes of two out-of-control adults. Harvey became Daddy, unequipped with the tools for effective anger management and/or communication, and Tiffany became the little girl absolutely terrified that her caretaker was now amuck.

Whew. All because person A said boo.

Anyway, the emotions discussed on the set and in a safe therapeutic environment, all that was left was to finish with the practical matters left undone in episode 5: Kimberly was weighed in, and was said to have weighed 157 pounds…having lost three pounds.

Stacey had brought back the positive by giving Kimberly props for being the “push-through, bounce-back girl,” and then had announced that Kimberly had taken them along to hear and watch as she filmed her latest video for her new release, “Change”.

Here I concede to how much I remember LOVING Kim’s voice on Idol 2. I loved hearing it again on “Celebrity Fit Club.” But I felt in contention when at the therapy session Kim said Dustin was only on the show to “maximize” his career,

whereas the rest of them, she said, were there to take advantage of the healthy offerings and not to further their careers. Even Ms. Locke must acknowledge, on some level, that if she were Barbra Streisand, she may not need or wish to do a show such as “Celebrity Fit Club,” that some amount of motivation to appear on the show must involve good advertising…. I think.
Okay, so I have had as much of a cleansing, purging bitch session as the rest of them, so we can move on to who weighs what:

Warren weighed in at 194, having lost two pounds. Warren being six pounds away from his goal, Harvey set his target weight loss for next time at three pounds.

Tiffany weighed in at 134, having (finally) lost two pounds. Tiffany being seven pounds from her goal, Harvey set her target weight loss for next time at four pounds.

Maureen weighed in at 121, prompting Ant to tell her she has set the Gold Standard of weight loss. Harvey again let Mo set her own target weight loss for next time (as she has lost 19.3 % of her total body weight), and she chose three pounds.

Brat weighed in at 154, having gained a pound. Though she ate well, she didn’t exercise, and surmised aloud that one doesn’t work so well without the other. Harvey set her target weight loss for next time at five pounds, and refrained from nailing her to a cross next to Dustin.

Ross weighed in at 181, having lost another pound and 15.4% of his total body weight. Harvey let Ross set his own target weight loss for next time, again, and he chose three pounds.

Cledus weighed in at 185, having lost nothing. Stacey started in on how she is concerned he would now go back to yogurt and blueberries; and Cledus said he would for sure do even better: he would wire his damned jaw shut. This got everybody nervous and tittering, and when Stacey said he had a method of fearing going into disaster mode—incurring chaos—if he deviated, and quite justified with his evidentiary reasoning, he said he DID deviate (as they advised) and he DID, is NOW, IN chaos mode.
Harvey set his target weight loss for next time at two pounds, but knowing Cledus, we will see a lock-jawed skinny Minnie who is even lighter than that.

And Kimberly weighed in at 155, having lost two more pounds. Harvey set her target weight loss for next time at four pounds.

The teams weighed together on the giant scales, and Regulators had lost 12.1% of their cumulative body weight, while Athletes had lost 12.6% and were therefore the “winners”.

Dustin was absent, choosing instead to do his own thing (or believe Harvey’s rant that he had to get the f—k out), and while we don’t know what he weighs do know he is weighing his thoughts and lessons for life…sharing them with us in some really esoteric/obscure aphorisms:

I have been eating what I eat.
The greatest victory is victory of self.
Dogs are rewarded treats: people call them prizes.
Life without conflict is Nirvana.
He who speaks does not know. He who knows, does not speak.

Who can say how much was edited out. More than should have been edited out of last week’s mess, I suspect.

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