Apologies and Congrats to Charm School’s Saaphyri

Apologies and Congrats to Charm School’s Saaphyri by Roxanne McDonald

I don’t know what happens to me at finale time. Either I go into a coma or the fates have it that I am sucked from my cave and away from the TV just when the getting done is good. But belated congrats go out to Saaphyri!

Just as I have missed two “Survivor” finales and a TV Guide worth of other final episodes of shows I faithfully, obsessively followed all season, I missed the finale for “Flavor of Love

Girls’ Charm School.” Dammit! I at least wanted to squeeze in a few more slanderous insults and swearing in my TV-watching repertoire, for as we all know, there is just so little of those.
I also wanted to personally witness Becky, a.k.a. BuckWild, take the trophy for most improved: after all, she cut down on the crassness, almost completely stopped the switching of Caucasian to African American affect of speech, and didn’t get “Buckwild” with any of the production staff—though she did slip into Black vernacular for us when she was in the confession chambers and she did allude to being hot for the drill sergeant, Andrew Firestone, and other guest lecturers….

But evidently, I missed more than I feared.

I missed the 10th commandment, “Thous Shalt be Fully Fabulous.”

I missed the conspiring against Shay (who deserved it).
I missed the study sessions where Leilene, who really needed all the support she could muster for any small bit of learning, enhances her already weak learning curve with booze shots.
I missed Shay getting so far in the Q&A challenge only to blow the question that sends her home.

I missed the speeches about how the three would use the prize moneyand what they have learned and therefore made themselves deserving of that 50k.
I missed Mo’s final comments and future advice.

I missed Becky being gracious about getting her pledge pin snatched third to last.

I missed Keith and his snooty support—this time of Leilene as she shops for a decent dress.

I missed the dignified Mikki who often became over the season the indignant judge, so pissed and disappointed was she at the girl of the hour, helping Saaphyri get a new weave (sine the pink paintbrush tips).
I missed Leilene being named runner up and having Keith offer representation!

And I missed seeing the more endearing of the class (if it couldn’t be Becky) win the most needed prize.

Saaphyri outgrew her intransigence, her belligerence, her other-world ignorance. And she can now not only have a better chance at living a life beyond mere survival, she can get her Uggs back!

Congrats, Saaphyri. You are now a Charmed one!

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