Why Tom Bergeron Loves Live Television

Why Tom Bergeron Loves Live Television by Roxanne McDonald

Well, Billy Ray and Karina getting cut is not one of the reasons, but this week was a collection of crappy snafus that made Tom Bergeron take up the slack—which he did with his usual finesse.

The computers went screwy, the critics were at each other’s throats, and Tom Bergeron was right there to save the day with quick adjustments, reports, and retorts. [I especially liked it when Tom told dancers to keep in mind it was past Len’s bedtime.]

I didn’t catch one of the labels, but the remaining five dance teams were introduced as the perfectionist, the Olympian, the showman, and the crazy bear.

Ian and Cheryl started the night with the Foxtrot. Ian had celebrated Cheryl’s birthday and she had said that was lovely and all but they had a lot of work to do. I think they did it. Their defined and at the same time fluid moves, plus the facial expressions, made me think if I wasn’t watching color TV I was seeing a dance clip from an old b&w movie.

However, the judges weren’t as keen: Len said he always thinks of Ian as Mr. Consistency, but that night he had dipped. Bruno agreed, saying he was something like a jumping goat; and Carrie Ann began to explain dance anatomy—saying how there were two parts to the body, the upper and lower half…though they brought so much exuberance to the dance.

Joey and Kym had gone to the Kentucky Derby, which I’m not sure had much relevance or wondered how that helped, but I suppose relaxation and catharsis of a different sort helped them somehow. They first did the waltz. I still like Joey’s poise; and Kym’s Laurence Welk Dancers dress was so pretty….

Bruno liked that razzle dazzle, too. He insisted that Joey should stick to what he does best, because that waltz was not good enough. Carrie Ann agreed: Joey needs to NOT pull back, she said, and added it was missing the “Joey special.” Len groaned repeatedly and then told Joey he did elegance, he did beauty, and he didn’t “overdance”: he showed a different side to his character, not just a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am dance. It was, for Len, a proper and perfect performance.
Deciding that he had had his last say in the choreography, Billy Ray deferred to Karina for the Foxtrot. Karina twists his butt aggressively in rehearsal, and says if she can make his ass move, he can. They also do some light bondage thing, to keep his rubbery legs straight? I don’t know.

As they did their version of the Foxtrot, I still couldn’t help but feel the professional dancers have to overcompensate for their celebrity amateurs’ inadequacies, making some of their own performance way to exaggerated. Or maybe that’s just the result of skilled/unskilled together.

Len commented they had the most content but were still technically not up to par. Carrie Ann said something to make them at least feel okay. And Bruno got way out of control and said, as we all have heard by now a number of times, that their first dance was crap.

With dad in the audience, Laila does the waltz with Maks. Since Ali is not comfortable with sexy Latin numbers, she says, the went for elegance. And elegant and liquid and lovely it was.

Carrie Ann praised them, commenting how far Laila has come and how much she has developed, and expressly emphasizes that she looks for the emotion, which, she says in Laila’s performance was “true and very profound.”

Apolo and Julianne were “shooting for a mind-blowing performance,” and their Tango was just that for the judges. You could right there and then predict that they would have the encore the next night.

Bruno opened the judgments with something I HAD to have heard wrong, calling it a lightning stomp in the pampers? He had scatological matters on his mind that night, evidently? He was, he said, so excited, so excited. Carrie Ann affirmed, saying how normally the upper body wasn’t quite right, but that on that night it was perfect. But Len took the wind out everyone’s

sails, saying that this Tango lacked passion, lacked drama, and was far too hectic…to which Bruno excitedly replied he must be losing his marbles.

After round 1, the leader board looked like this:

Apolo and Julianne in 1st place with 28, no 27, no 28 (that was that computer/human misinterpretation deal that made Tom B. gush, “God, I love live TV)

Laila and Maks were in 2nd, with 27

Joey and Kym, with 26, were in 3rd.

Ian and Cheryl were in 4th with 22.

And Billy Ray and Karina were last with 18.

After round two, the results were as follows:

1st Apolo and Julianne had done a dramatic Paso Doble, got a 30, and had 58 total.
2nd Joey and Kym had also done a Paso Doble, a bit more spastic, got a 29, and ended up with 55.
3rd Laila and Maks had delivered a beautiful Jive, got a 26, giving them a total of 53.
4th Ian and Cheryl had done the Rumba, which made me realize I am still in love with Ian for the win, got a 25, and ended up with a total of 47.
5th Billy Ray and Karina did a Mambo, better than their Foxtrot, earned 20 points, coming away with 38.

But even though we are pretty numb to the promos that tout “most shocking elimination night ever,” and are often anesthetized even further by the relentless dragging out of a results show of performers, interviews, and less than funny but more silly and quirky stuff, when Tom B says the bottom two are most shocking so far, we likely agreed…partially, anyway. Billy Ray and Karina were in the bottom two. So were Joey and Kym. Then again, with only four possibilities after Billy Ray and Karina were named, any team would have brought gasps.

The semi-finalists will be hard to choose from starting now, as they are all damned good!!!!

Billy Ray was funny when it was announced he and Karina were out. He gasped and said, “Nooo…” as if he were surprised. He also got a word in about the judges cruelty or unnecessary comments, and made his departure sweet, though, by thanking God, Karina, his fellow team dancers, and etc.. And the women who loved watching the hottie will miss him, though they can still listen, as Billy Ray has a new album coming out the 28th! He won’t be at a loss for talent or attention, just not in the dancing milieu.

SirLinksAlot Dancing with the Stars links

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