Dice Undisputedly Pitiful

Dice Undisputedly Pitiful by Roxanne McDonald

And I am pitiful…not only for watching again but for writing about “Dice Undisputed” again.

Watching and then writing about “Dice Undisputed” again is like eating some funky-ass food that makes you grimace and say to your fellow diner, “Eeeww. Here, taste this.”

I’m sorry, but I have to share my observations and opinions again, anyway.

This week, the emphasis on making a comeback as the greatest comic legend ever, or what have you,

is in the coat selection at a rock star boutique. If he gets the right jacket, it seems, he will be a hit again.
So new jacket and new hairdo to embolden him, Dice takes to the Wendy Williams Experience (for which you should also check out her site, with bobble head and all), where, he says, Wendy Williams is like a female Howard Stern.

Wendy William’s sidekick, however, is no Stuttering John. While her cohort (either Trev Hollywood, Tarin, or Goose—I didn’t catch his name) is chatting the way Robin does on The Howard Stern Show, Dice gets all insulted or bothered or just ornery for the sake of being orney—for the sake of being consistently Dice. He says to the guy, “You’re a nobody that’s never going anywhere that I never met.” His point is about heckling but his m.o. is clear: insult the sidekick, step on his head, and you take one giant step up the next rung on the ladder of shame fame.

Another entitlement episode, this one includes Dice stopping his car in his lane as a buddy or manager or somebody stops his car in the opposite oncoming

lane—holding up two-way traffic. When a perturbed person behind him honks for them to move their selfish act somewhere else, Dice determines that that driver is just another “rude L.A. person…,” as he is “what? Not allowed to have a conversation?” Uhhh. Not in the rude way of through traffic, dimwit.
At his lawyer’s, Dice also has a unique way of interpreting and assessing people. The lawyer has evidently called him in to tell him that the ex wife wants full “ownership” of the two dogs. After Dice whines about loving one dog and how then they are just dogs and how he has to spend more money on this and has so much to do and wahh wahh wahh, the lawyer reminds him that is why the documentation/certification on the all says lawyer and not psychiatrist. This wounds Dice deeply, as he twists his motives and means and says that’s what he gets for treating the lawyer like a person. “Sometimes a man just needs a friend, you know.”

Poor pitiful Dice. Where’s your little buddy?

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