Meaty, Beaty, Big and Bouncy
Meaty, Beaty, Big and Bouncy: Who Will the New “Flavor of Love” Girls Be? by Roxanne McDonald
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Who will be in the final 21: the playah hatah, the tranny, the stripper [one of them], the lesbian spy, or the good old gal with a flora legium of flesh? |
If the only ones to audition are those twenty-five who are featured on flavoroflovecasting.com, then each one’s chances are really good.
Oh, ohhhkayyy, I see how the site is set up. I was looking at just the latest, newest women to apply. There are actual some 172 pages of twenty-five girls per page. What is that? Whoa. 4300.
Shall we look at some of those who hope to try for Flav’s time, air time, or our time? Won’t consider all of them, here, for that would be one helluva long entry, and will forego the Sergeant Beverlys and the Hot Chocolates who make Flav react the way Tommy did to Jaime Fox’s masseuse on “In Living Color…,” so I will note the ones I wager will appear in the premiere episode of “Flavor of Love 3”:
TwelveFlavors will likely make it, straight outta a good porn mag…, though I imagine Flav will have to change her name. Conflict of interest and all.
Yalanda1 looks a LOT like New York, but, hey, we know even if she does make it onto the show she will never come close to the one and only Bitch Goddess. But Yalanda relates most to New York, is not into nagging, and believes the most romantic date would, first, involve HER.
DameDarcy is just a lunatic in a wig, but remember, good TV trumps the motive to find true love every time.Earaina is another likely…, what with her bizarre name, her beautiful face, and her apparent devotion—in metaphors—to her KING.
ThatGirlDallas will be included but will likely be ignored for all personality and other characteristics and instead drooled over for one…, well, two…, things. Just go look at her pics.
MaddWildWood is fleshy and cute, but also tough and smartass, and you know Flav likes a challenge or two. Go Madd. Go Madd.
MissThick916 will likely make it on the show…, if only so that we have someone we can pick on, someone there so we can make fun of hair. Those skunk streaks, so eighties, so done, will have to be a hallmark target of derision. MissT, you say you are the whole package, but you know people are going to focus on the wrapping.
NynaBlack might just make it as one of the more devoted and serious contenders, provided she is not there to promote one of her many professions? She seems smart and is good looking, so if she doesn’t get lost in the mix, she might just go far, as Deelishis did, all calm and covertly competing.
And what man like Flav could resist at least givin a shot or a shout out to the auditioning girl who is doing things with her mouth to a massive pickle? FabulousMegan looks as fun as BuckWild, though, of course, again, there can only be, will only ever be one BuckWild.
Course, better than just reading my review or just watching the audition videos is watching the “You Cast It” teaser episode of “Flavor of Love 3,” where Goldie is commenting that one is “re-tar-ded”; where Hottie is squealing about how another is just there for Flav’s money; and BuckWild is snarky as ever and responding to one auditioner by saying to us how wonderful it is they let Bootz’ mom apply!
Such funny [funny sick, not funny Seinfeld funny, I mean] entertainment. I can’t help but watch.
SirLinksAlot Flavor of Love links
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