The Boyz of New York—Still Standing, Still Egocentric
The Boyz of New York—Still Standing, Still Egocentric by Roxanne McDonald
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New York notices the guys “have pretty big egos.” Have they earned them? |
Collectively, the guys are certainly an odd mix of yuppies and borderline thugs. But who are they individually, and how will they fit into New York’s life? Let’s take a look at the personalities and pasts of the six left living in the I Love New York mansion.
BOSTON
Who he is: first, he’s white. Very white. Second, he’s Jewish. And third, he first introduced himself as a “stud”. But Lee, the 25 year old financial advisor who takes everything as serious as a borderline autistic actually looks like a little boy lost in a big ferocious world of competition. Yet, this Aquarian is smart, and he picks up on the
savagery and silliness of his remaining housemates. He loves reality TV, is serious about sex with hot women, and, despite his colorful remarks about color issues, is still in the running for the woman he considers the hottest babe in L.A. My bets are on him, especially if Mom has the last word.
What Tiffany feels for him: she loves the way he kisses, gets nervous about his candid race discussions, and yet has a soft spot for the nerdy little guy.
How Mom feels about him: Sister Patterson seems to have the most respect for Boston, who impresses her with his balls to stand up to Chance and others, whom she doesn’t believe is a racist, and whom she says is the perfect man for her daughter. Besides, he gives good lapdance, and Moms is clearly here to get in on the action, too, right?
CHANCE
Who he is: Kamal is a music producer and former Capitol Records artist, an Aries, and the least polished of the bunch. That is, he has a personality that is combative, quick to anger, and fast to rap. Not all that attractive in the face, New York likes him, and that’s all that matters, evidently.
What Tiffany feels for him: From day one New York has loved that Chance has that evidently underrated “New York edge” and cares enough about him that she stands up to her mother and keeps him in every round. I guess we all need to indulge in a relationship with a nasty, intransigent, and dim-witted guy at least once—especially if he kills moths for us and smooches us like the savior that he is.
How Mom feels about him: she [the one he calls “Peppermint Patterson,” among other names] can’t stand him. What did you expect?
REAL
Who he is: Ahmad has quite a run for his efforts, as he is brother to Chance. But much less of a thug, he shows a sensitivity, a penchant for poetry, and even a sense of humor that is rare around the house of sober threats and coo-coo crying jags. Real is a Capricorn from Campo, California, and brings some college, some cool to the house.
What Tiffany feels for him: well, thanks to his and 12-Pack’s romantic night gestures, Real is one of her two favorites. So she says. And besides, he has beautiful hair, like “wool”, and he gives a mean pedicure. God help him.
How Mom feels about him: I have watched every episode of “I Love New York” and I still have no idea.
TANGO
Who he is: Record-label owner Patrick Hunter is one of three in the music industry still in the running and still questionably there for ulterior purposes. Yet this 26 year-old college graduate, a Leo who hasn’t yet let his roar be heard, is hunky and has heart…. He reads a lot, is up on the movies and TV, and has a reverence for all people musical, socially significant, and proud. He may be, no pun or slur intended, the dark horse of the competition. If New York gets some quality one-on-one time with him.
What Tiffany feels for him: she seems to tolerate his weakness for her, and then again, may be keeping him around for ego and other stroking. Isn’t he the one both she and Mom shuddered over?
How Mom feels about him: well, she knows (as she has declared) how Tango has fallen in love with her baby, and that is important, though she doesn’t look too kindly on his kindergarten expressions of that love. She is, you know, a tough woman with tougher expectations.
12-PACK
Who he is: David Amerman is a 23 year-old personal trainer from New Jersey. He is the one with the best body, is known for his smoking and drinking as much as he works out, and while his myspace profile consists mostly of pictures of himself and little more content, he has something substantial enough about him that New York has held on.
What Tiffany feels for him: he is one of her favorites, considering how he wins competitions, gives her special pleasures, and shares his killer physique with her–never mind that he does so to share it all with the world of modeling and money-making…. But as she is about Chance, she is in denial about 12-Pack’s true motives. Sigh.
How Mom feels about him: Sister P was sure that 12-Pack was an “undercover gay lover”, but have her impressions changed?
WHITEBOY
Who he is: He is Joshua Gallander. He is also white. (Duh.) But unlike Boston, this 25 year-old Gemini from Florida is an in-your-face power player in disguise. On the show he is one of the tamest, one of the quietest. But his alter-ego is evidently all about naked, well-oiled rumps and loads of dough, and during rare moments on the show, he speaks his mind.
What Tiffany feels for him: she cares enough to present him and only him with an expensive watch, but then, when he thanks her appropriately, she says he can’t kiss.
How Mom feels about him: she looooves the way he kisses. Oh, no, wait. Wrong show. She does ask him about his attitude toward pre-marital sex, and his answer (God says no) must have satisfied her, as he isn’t gone yet.
So…New York has eliminated the tennis and IT professionals, another financial advisor, a truck driver, and an entrepreneur (who also claims to be worth some 100 million). She has also eliminated of a couple of fetishists and a nutcase or two. What I wonder is when she is down to the final favorite, will she regret keeping an opportunist like Twelve-Pack in favor over a freak like Rico?
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