What the? Who Said?

What the? Who Said? Frustrating Last Comic Standing Semi-Finals I by Roxanne McDonald

Why, oh why are the funniest comics sent packing?

Every so often, we get lucky and get those we find the best actually getting passed through during the semi-finals of “Last Comic Standing”. But more so often, we get the marginal comics.

So it went last night when Sabrina Matthews got snubbed, Spencer Brown got smudged out, and Laurence Moony got overlooked.

Screw the typecasting. Let go of the quota protocol. Bring on the FUNNNNNNIEST, fools!

In the first of two semi-final episodes, sixteen comics competed for five of the ten spots in the finals:

1. John Caparulo, No Hassle Pass winner, audience favorite, one of my favorites, with the I-hate-people humor and his new material on the human imperative to be un-healthy, un-pc, etc..

2. Debra DiGiovanni, oversized, overacting, overdone. Sooo done.

3. Tommy Johnagin, another audience favorite in the semi-semis, still green—but funnier than DiGiovanni.

4. Dante, just Dante, also a Cap One NHPass winner, sounds like Kevin Spacey and does stand-up like an inverted Kevin Spacey, including some uncanny impersonations that while moderately humorous might have better been saved for “The Next Best Thing”?

5. Joe DiVitio, the implicit Mafioso/explicit geek, does some giggle-inducing stuff.

6. Gina Yashere, the complete comic package with immaculate timing, super stress and self-effacing family stuff, as well as an edgy and fresh act.

7. Laurence Moony, with the most twisted, expressive, and dynamic presence—coupled with accessibility to his topical material—would be one we would have on our list of “You Can Only Bring Five People with You to the Moon”, that entertaining he is.

8. Sarah Collenna, with really funny stuff but that which was rushed, so the laughs were on the down beat and on the lowdown, for that matter.
9. Dwayne Kennedy, who actually said one of the funniest g-damned things…BEFORE he went onstage [about how the stress of the moment was intense but how there was nothing he could do about it…save start killing people (pause) and that could take a long time]; and one of the more un-pc and I’m a jaded joker comics who you know has a hell of a lot better material that wouldn’t make it on a PG show.

10. Spencer Brown, another of my favs, who has this gorgeous Hugh Grant thing going on but who blasts through these beautiful-boy-next-door looks by goofing it up onstage–where he jumps and jounces and jams with trigger finger fury, rivaling the most bitter and caustic of the comic community.

11. Tracey Ashley, wry and wrangling the classics: relationships; an endearing albeit secretly grumpy on the side comic who may be too smart for her own career in comedy.

12. Ralph Harris, with the pre-established silly guy persona, does just okay impersonation of Grandpa—though his family seemed to dig it.

13. Sabrina Matthews, the big bull dyke with the stoic openers and tch-yehuh punch lines that absolutely bust up the audience…every single time. Here is where I noticed how the people LAUGHED, folks, instead of doing the clapping as a replacement for good, yeah, observations they did for several other comics.

So, then this is where I started going all tangential in my head, thinking how maybe a comedy competition ought to be based on numbers of laughs versus numbers of claps [guest judge Tom Arnold’s incessant and not always focused

clapping aside: Man! I have ADD, and I couldn’t watch him for long!]; then maybe it ought to be based ALL the WAY THROUGH on audience votes ONLY; then I thought maybe just maybe Sabrina would make it anyway, as she should have. She should have. Dammit.
Woops. Back to the last two of the night:

14. Adam Vincent, with his childish set—yep, intentionally acting out and getting many who could identify…well, okay, all of us were kids once. So Adam was fun more than funny.

15. Laurie Chase, Laurie Chase…. Oh, yes, she did a boyfriend-turning-gay bit that was, well, cute, but not quite zinger enough that I am ready to go to the protest platform for her.

16. Doug Benson is the come-back kid, though I still think he is more stalker-like looking than comic, and I still don’t like that obvious and aggressive kind of steamroll the stooges humor. But, evidently, that’s just me.

The Big Five [Says Who?]

1. Dante [also earning another no-hassle pass to not make him any more likely to win but to put a grand in his pocket and millions in the sponsoring cc reps’ pockets, rather]

2. Gina Yashere

3. Ralph Harris

4. Debra DiGiovanni

5. Doug Benson

What the? Jeeezus. This is like watching ten really smart, kind, funny, helpful, etc. peeps lose a reality show to a greedy, malevolent, already-set-for-life bastard. Okay. Bit of a warped analogy, but the frustration level is high in response, and I don’t THINK I am alone….

The only one of the five finalists I would pay to hear is Gina Yashere. Okay, maybe Dante, cause his previous work was funny, even if the semi-finals stuff was a bit tame.

But for now, I pay the exorbitant cable price, and get to see mostly those I wouldn’t otherwise vote for, stand in line to see live, or agree with the big wigs about putting forward in what could otherwise be a really top-notch comedy show.

Yeah, so Bill Bellamy suggested to the audience, after wishing those leaving luck, that we go and see these gifteds in their local venues. We will. We will. And I suspect those venues—those comedy clubs and bars—will get more business than future episodes of LCS will get viewers.

What a shame there is a sell-out mentality that sabotages quality television comedy.

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