Methinks “My Bare Lady” Doth Provide too Much…Bad Entertainment

Methinks “My Bare Lady” Doth Provide too Much…Bad Entertainment by Roxanne McDonald

What a ridiculous show is “My Bare Lady.” [And as soon as I say this, I will likely get hooked and have to watch every silicone-filled, dry-hump focused episode. Groan.]

I have intentionally ignored the listings for “My Bare Lady” when I do my TV line-up for the day, and evidently, for good reason. Today, the day before New Year’s Eve, as I sought out the marathons—“Seinfeld” on TBS; “AbFab” [“Absolutely Fabulous”] on BBC; and of course “The Twilight Zone” on the SCIFI channel—I again skipped over “My Bare Lady”, inferring it could only be carnal exploitation at its dullest.

Well, as FOX Reality was airing “Corkscrewed,” and as

Fox Reality tends to do mini marathons while slipping in a single show of something else in between, I clicked my alternate channel button on the remote from “Scrubs” (during the commercial) and found that “Corkscrewed” had ended and “My Bare Lady” had intruded my air space.
First, I caught a horrendous tryout session of a number of scantily clad women simulating orgasm. Then, in the same episode, each of those same “ladies”—who are former porn stars—doing a reading for Juliet. Of course they butchered and bastardized the bard’s words, and of course had no clue that “wherefore art thou, Romeo?” does NOT mean where is my teen lover but why does he have to be a Montague.

Then, after the strangest of non sequiturs—such as one porn star discussing and demonstrating her unusually extreme back arch (which she showed us by getting on all fours and raising her derriere to the judges)–we horrified

viewers got the torture of the pornettes discussing what acting involves, what is so difficult about acting, and what they are willing to do to transition to the stage (from the, uh, pole). It appears the judges are taking a select number of the women to London, to a classical acting academy for a one-month drama makeover.
Hey, FOX Reality TV, how about, instead of—what? Six episodes?—of a foul and short-falling reality wannabewasbeen…how about a NEW “Solitary”? How about another season of “Mad, Mad World”? More “Rock Star…” replays? Anything but Debbie Does Denmark…. Leave the metamorphoses to the rare few who can handle it, like Tracy Lords—who must be biting her B lip in embarrassment for these balloons with wigs and the judges who seem to be taking this whole process way too seriously.

No Comments »

No comments yet.

Leave a comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.