Outback Jack: Quirky and Cute

Outback Jack: Quirky and Cute by Roxanne McDonald

Outback Jack, the Aussie Bachelor meets Survivor.

Handsome and rugged “Jack” with the endearing Aussie accent and ways, welcomes twelve unlikely Sheilas—city slickers, chic chicks, all makeup and shopping and dainty fragility—to compete for his marriage proposal…AFTER they compete in rigorous bush activities. They visit a crocodile farm, for instance, and are required to test the gender of the crocs: this is done by inserting one’s pinky into the genital cavity and feeling about, and this in turn requires their French manicures get chopped off and “ruined!”

Well, okay, one chickee has to get a nail cut for the experience. This is Natalie, one of the more vociferous and dingy, seemingly, one who at times gets on your nerves with that drawling, pitchy yakking: when the girls are taken to experience an Aboriginal fireside spirit cleansing ritual, Natalie says to the camera afterward that it “…was something I’d only seen out of National Geographic!” I’m not sure if this is the more obnoxious or if the first utterance or outburst of “Oh. My. God.” from one of the other balloons with a wig is more lame and irritating.

Natalie also

editorializes about the camel ride they have later, complaining about how bad the camel’s breath was and how sore her butt is, tossing out a rotten cliché, that even her bruises have bruises. Yukk Yukk.

However, if you have watched the show in its entirety, you will know that Jack chooses Natalie (aka “Princess”) to be his outback bride. You will also likely agree that this was the perfect choice, for as grating as she may have been, she was the least of all the bosomy beauty evils. Some of the others…grumble, grumble….

There was the ongoing subterfuge about Marrissa (runner-up), and with good reason. Marissa was NOT there for Jack only, but for what? There is no authenticity to her expressions, to her facial disclosure or body language to reveal a true feeling for the man she is competing to marry.

In fact,

when in the final episode, she is NOT chosen, she doesn’t shed a tear, doesn’t really flinch. It was almost as if she were quickly and quietly searching for the right stage presence, for the appropriate response. Too bad she didn’t have a little vial of dramatic tears—that paste you slip into the tear duct part of the eye to make you tear up. Then, at least, she could have APPEARED upset.

I have to give Natalie the props she deserves, then. She was real throughout, regardless of how gauche, tacky, or “down home” candid…. And, hey, that homey way landed her a most down-to-earth (or bush) Jack, now didn’t it?

Best to the lot of them. They deserve it.
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