Front Row Gets Bitched Out by Bret
Front Row Gets Bitched Out by Bret by Roxanne McDonald
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And who can blame Bret Michaels for finally having to come down hard on the final four “Rock of Love” girls? |
Well, three of the final four, anyway.
They—Heather, Lacey, and Brandi—have gotten a bit out of line. Lacey not only continues to manipulate for God knows what ulterior reason and then gets drunk with the band to the point where she is incoherent and impossibly combative; Brandi also gets so loaded that at dinner
[where she is supposed to be impressing Bret] she can’t even stifle with her napkin the projectile vomit that squirts out the sides [ew]; and Heather just refuses to support anyone or anything other than her own tendentious efforts to convince Bret she is the one.
Jes, however, repeatedly supports the weak, falling, and fallen—holding heads that puke over restaurant bowls, holding up the wickedest of lushes, and holding strong not just to impress Bret but because it is in her nature to do so.
Damned straight she should get [and did get] the one-on-one time this week, as she has the least baggage, has the cutest face, and has the kindest, most forthright demeanor.
The other three are just nasty in many senses of the word:
Lacey is targeting another contender [Brandi]; has said she will screw over anyone to get Bret; is not all that focused at Bret’s Vegas gig, ambling about as if she is
looking for something [trouble] while the others are riveted on his performance of “Driven”, “Every Rose…,” and other Bret Michaels songs; spits a lot of “stupid bitch” talk on Brandi; and continues to malign when, on hangover morning, she tells Bret she’s just fine—it’s Brandi that’s hurting.
Heather continues to suggest it is her “job” to expose the secrets and details of other competitors’ lives and ways to Bret; loves seeing HER man and discounts the others as “just groupies” or as “rookies”; and frequently gives us definitive statements about being “golden”, “in”, and “the one”, Bret’s one and only.
And Brandi too drinks too much; participates in the “bitch” exchange with Lacey; tells Bret she loves him and wants to be with him and then tells the others she doesn’t really. [This inspires the lecture from Bret at the Elimination Ceremony.]
Course, the women aside, the best part of “Rock of Love” still, I think, is that Bret is still funny as hell: in the private interviews, he comments, for example, on how he only left the girls alone with the band for some fifteen minutes, so what the hell? [How did they get so drunk and out of control in such a short period of time, and in the company of others?] He then describes how as he was pulling Brandi’s drunk and puking head out of the toilet how she said one of the most touching things…. And, and, the best line of the night comes when he is discussing how he regards Heather. He says that he is trying to get her of THAT [stripper] pole and onto HIS pole.
LOL, Bret. Were it not for your consistently patient sense of humor, this show would have bottomed out long ago—what with us having to watch little more than drinking, sleazing, slamming, and slurs made by crusty undesirables.
SirLinksAlot Rock of Love links
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