With all Due Respect

With all Due–Ahem–Respect by Roxanne McDonald

Yeah, and is that meat, skin, flesh you’re wearing…?

I gotta start by saying that while I have openly, shamelessly admitted to loving the humor of LauraBelle at Reality Shack and to even chuckling at the clever way Christina Marie [also at Reality Shack, which, gee, says a lot about what I do with my extra time, and while your at it, check out the just as

wonderfully droll Jessica Paff at Zap2It/Inside the Box] vocalizes her reactions to reality shows, I was taken aback by how while Christina obviously digs Poison she has gotten way down on “Rock of Love.” Okay, the whole love-hate letter to Brett is a comical concept that may be TOTAL exaggeration, but Jeesh, a bit hard on Brett…and for the wrong reasons?
First, Brett didn’t write the formulaic kiss-off and invitation slogans. At least I’m prreeettty sure he didn’t. Next, assigning one of the most astute anologies to Tiffany is just, well, wrong. Tiffany would be lucky to get anything more than “Haterade” and “Don’t threaten me with fun” or whatever she has heard elsewhere out as the most clever comments she knows to make.

It was Dallas who made that observation that watching the whore-pole dancing was akin to being in one of those strip joints next to the airport where there are only a bunch a fat chicks….

But speaking of Dallas, and getting off the back of the usually hilarious Christina [and acknowledging that I am criticizing in the very way that drives me absolutely batty when some yahoo comes along and corrects my one paraprax, that one slip of the tongue, pen, keyboarding in 5,000 + articles and how, therefore, Christina is welcome to slap me, throw me in the pool, call me names with “whore” in them]…, how ‘bout that severe anti-social, anti-animals, anti-pets, anti-skank bag ho Dallas?

How ‘bout that [?] one-rule-only-don’t touch Bret’s guitars so I will do so anyway chick? They all start to look, yes, the same, so “white trailer trash” is a severe understatement and generalizations and nasty naming fall-backs are acceptable. Though I have had my share of ass-kickings and altercations with just such tough chicks, so I am as reticent about acting all bring-it-on as much as I am trying to be respectful of fellow females.

But seems to me if you offer yourself up for the exploitation that followed this week on “Rock…,” you can’t really pull the gender/race/sex harassment/un-pc card out of your cleavage to fight back…fairly, anyway.

And how bout that Lacey with the cracking and sadly sour-voiced warbling she only lets up on advertising long enough to toss the least likely to laugh it off Jes into the

pool? And then what about how she sheepishly says that jeez, she only threw her in the pool: it’s not like she set her ass on fire or anything?
And wohmyGod, what was the deal with the typically whimpery whiny Gummy Boobs all of sudden gettin a set of gall stones of roughly the same size…to hurl invectives at a pad-mate just because she won some sex-off date with Strong Like Bull Bret? Let’s see, the pot called the kettle some kind of crank whore; the kettle said the pot wore clown boobs; and the end result only brought Erin closer to the man who can’t help but love the “titmouse” voice and the Titanic buoys.

So that backfired.

While my gratitude goes out, again, to the greatest re-cappers on the web, and while I, too, love the rocker despite the rock-off reality show and despite the [thank Gawd now eliminated] dingbat Tamara and Two-fisted Tiffany types, I can’t help but shake my head to think there has GOT to be a better way for a fine-ass rock star to find a quality relationship with a quality [look that one up, Gummy Boobs] woman.

I know of several posting their preferences and promises and pleas on sites all around the web! [See, for instance, Bret Michaels blog category at CD Music Robot]

But, then, we would have no feigned searching in the reality TV format and would therefore be severely lacking in some of the raunchiest of entertainment…even if Bret would have way better chances of finding a decent chick.

SirLinksAlot Rock of Love links

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