Cheapy Cheater Chachi Redeems Himself

Cheapy Cheater Chachi Redeems Himself by Roxanne McDonald

Scott Baio continues his self-exploratory venture with ex-girlfriend number three; takes the outing of his frugality and cheating; and makes up for it with pizza and apologies.

You gotta give it to a reforming lothario and tight wad who sits through a comedy set as the target/butt of the jokes, on camera, and who then attempts to make the past errant

behavior right.

Maybe that’s a big part of the reason for the bags under the eyes.

I’d never feel sorry for a cheater, I once thought. The consequences are so much more damaging to the offended, or the cuckolded. But how screwed up do you have to be to be THAT fearful of commitment that you have to unconsciously or subconsciously sabotage every potentially fulfilling LTR?

Since “Scott Baio is 45 and Single” concerns Scott coming to accept the possibility of settling down, and since his life coach has asked if he cheated on everyone and Scott replies that yeah, pretty much, Doc Allie asks for the next example: Scott was “dating” two women—Julie and Lisa—at the same time. Well, Julie and Lisa just so happened to happen upon each other at the same audition, started talking, and like in a bad b revenge movie, discovered the reality of Scott the Hot: for Xmas that year he received a card greeting him with “Fu-k you…” and signed “Julie and Lisa”.

This triggers the next perfect visit: to Julie McCullough, whom Scott can’t reach by phone and who therefore prompts him to show up at Julie’s comedy set at the Improv.

You literally screwed her over, you show up years later, while she is onstage and has full control of the crowd—ala Kathy Griffin—and so you must expect to get the fallout of that decade-old transgressing. That or you’re a masochist.

Scott takes the slams, which are not funny and which must be slightly baffling the crowd who paid pretty decent bucks to hear humor not ex-boyfriend bashing devoid of funny. But Scott only lasts so long and has to bolt…., right about the time Julie is finishing the tirade about his cheating and moving on to how cheap is he? jokes—so cheap that on their first date to a pizza place, he made her buy her own slice.

However, he reappears after the show, in the back of the Improv where Julie is unwinding. They have a beer, and Julie tells him he was the reason for her getting her first AIDS test. Slam!

Why the hell are you here? Sorta slam!

To apologize. So you gonna buy me flowers now, a card? Slam.

No, actually buying you a pizza.

LOL. Hug. More LOL.

Julie makes number three he can scratch of his “I’m kinda copying the ‘My Name is Earl’ concept” list.

But then we have to have a bit of potential conflict, so Scott takes of with his less than luscious but no less lascivious buds…for a free-for-all in Palm Springs.

The bachelorette party he happens upon of course has single chicks who are glad to go back to the rented Palm Springs house with Scott. With SCOTT, Johnny, get that. Scott.

Scott has some remarkable on-camera revelation, and deciding this is so not right, wishes the ladies a good night and goes off to bed. The girls, who had arrived to a well-placed publicity shot of Johnny V., are so not down anymore and leave…to the tune of Johnny begging and then, after the door closes, swearing.

Guess what, Johnny? Your 1985 still shot is the culprit, stupid: when the discussion of the year 1985 turned to how old the girls were then–5 years old–Scott realized he owns pants that are older than they and this is what convinced him to stay out of the mix for the night.

Now when the girls were offered up by the bride-to-be, Scott had brought on the justification: that 1) Johnny wanted to go and who is Scott to argue; and 2) Scott’s celibacy vow to Doc Ali was made in another zip code, and so is null and void in Palm Springs.

But chicken wing man Johnny is more like the turret gunner belly of the plane of yore, and has to suffer the new consequences…of Scott staying celibate. And maybe he should re-think using 1) a twenty-two-year-old photo to seduce [kinda like those pitiful online daters who use a

clip-out from a magazine to fraudulently represent]; or 2) using a photo at all? What are you doing with such an old portfolio pic to begin with? Ick.
The show threatens to become, then, Johnny trying to get Scott to cheat so he can get some.

So the saboteur makes the otherwise short-lived show a few weeks longer and a little bit more engaging…for somebody.

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