Play the Scott Baio Game

Play the Scott Baio Game: The Get the Hottest Chick in the Room then Find Reasons to Drive Her Off/Dump Her Game by Roxanne McDonald

Though the game is not so much of Scott’s making as it is of Icky V’s design.

Sure, Scott is the quintessential commitment-phobe. When Doc Ali asks what his ideal woman is, he gives a well-worn list

of adjectives and superlatives, including “blonde”, “good body”, “good personality”, “no bigger than 5’5”, “good rear end”, “imperfect teeth”, “nice rack”, and, oh, yeah, maternal.
Can you say Ma-ma?

Then Scott has to have a reiterated session with the life coach, as she has has asked or said something that prompts him to stress, “Do you GET the finality I see in marriage? That marriage equals death?” And she stresses right back, asking, “What if I tell you doing the same thing over and over equals death?”

The eternal argument is going nowhere, so Scott concedes that relationships make you a better person, and this leaves an opening for Doc Ali to do something Scott immediately sees the absurdity in: she has the “perfect” girl for him. Uhhh, Scott, counters, you want me to meet the perfect girl after telling me I have to be celibate and stay uninvolved and all?

And then comes the revolutionary concept: she wants to see him CONNECT without having sex.

Can you say deny your biological imperative?

Or, can you get Johnny to grasp this possibility?

Scott is sent to a matchmaking service, and of COURSE brings the man who evidently doesn’t have his own life or a job to come along.

Johnny is kept from entering the conference room, however, and is prevented, no, forbidden, from “just checking out” all the date files. GROSSSS! Hey, predator, buy your own blow-up.

So he does, sort of. After Scott meets with an absolutely lovely woman whom he conveniently critiques to pieces in his head [a defense mechanism he is well aware of as working to defer his connecting], he goes to some card game with his buds…, where Johnny does what Scott id’s as most transparent: Johnny Ick, or Icky V., hires a stripper to deliver pizza. Yeah, yeah, Johnny, nice vicarious try, but Scott so does not fall for it, pays the woman a couple hundred bucks to leave, and makes you take your slimy ulterior motives outside with her.

If I were Doc Ali, and I am clearly not, I’d start looking in on that loser and on how if he were plucked from the equation….

What’s that saying? He gives you crumbs and you make it a loaf. Well Scott may be healing and improving and all, but the Johnny is still there with his doggie bag, tryin to feed on those crumbs that are quickly getting stale.

Yeah, that was a mixed-up metaphor, but I know what I meant.

Blessings go out to Scott, and hopes he will lose that lug that wouldn’t make much of a difference in ratings if he were gone.

SirLinksAlot Scott Baio is 45 and Single links

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