The Beautiful Bachelorettes: Let the Bitching Begin!

The Beautiful Bachelorettes: Let the Bitching Begin! by Roxanne McDonald

The Bachelor: Rome contenders, as beautiful as all may be, bring on the pouty and punchy and pissy attitudes that make them less than attractive to some of us viewers.

We see in the second episode of The Bachelor: Rome that jealousy has begun. It started with the smirks and eye-rolling and sulks in the premiere of number 9, but has taken on full bitch status by the second installment.

The women start in on Lisa as target for their jealousy when she wins the first rose of the season, along with a beautiful pair of diamond earrings, for doing little more than what catty Erica complained was “run[ning] around hugging a bunch of trees….”

Oh, dear, you don’t get that the prince likes Lisa for her clean, independent, and fun nature. He liked hugging those trees with her. It sure beat the pressures of twenty five women all glomming onto him. But then, Erica is less than understanding. In fact, she has some notion that she is already some kind of royalty, and is quite peed off when she can’t get a personal maid.

In characteristic more-royal-than-thou composure, Erica mutters she will have to recruit

some of the other girls to do her personal crap work for her. Viewers are likely ROFL, at this point, as we cannot envision the gorgeous blondes or brunettes folding her nasty pants or making her snooty bed for her anymore than we can bank on her being the best choice for the dignified, gentle, and easy-going Lorenzo.
Because Lisa got the first rose, she is the one who will go on the first solo date, while the rest will go on group dates with Lorenzo. This incurs more seething, which in turn has Erica kicking up the competitive strategies: on the group date—where the prince takes the first five women, touring the Parthenon and the Coliseum on foot and then on mopeds—Erica claims her license has expired so she cannot ride her own motorbike and therefore has to ride with the prince. She takes every opportunity to fawn over his nice abs, to ply him with details of her past love life, and to make the other women fear her powers over him.

The other women are jealous, and complain about her knack for getting time alone with Lorenzo. Sadie expresses this unhappiness for the group, adding to the bitch factor, while Erica is undaunted and going full bore with the critiques of other Bachelorettes, telling the prince, for instance, how Jami is a bad match for him as she “didn’t go to college”…though Lorenzo is not impressed by her judgmental clap-trap and defends the right for any woman who is there for him and for love, which he cites as a more apt reason for being there on The Bachelor.

The spoiled and unappreciative complaining continues when the other group is greeted by their date by way of helicopter(s). As Sara giddily says, the prince traditionally comes in on a white horse, but this prince “comes in on a white helicopter.” The girls who have already had their time, however, are not satisfied, and are griping how they wish they had gotten the trip to the Mediterranean instead.

But to top off the ultimate in insults to the fine young bachelor, the best of bitches occurs at the beach. As Desiree tickles Lorenzo with her casual and fun ways of calling him “baby” and all, and while Jennifer proves to be the only one to assert herself and take Lorenzo aside to ask him about himself (a move which gets her the first rose of the day),

Kim is getting loaded, stumbling, and passing out with a crashing flop into a lounge chair. The dear prince attempts to “awaken” her with a stroke of his thumb to her cheek, and Kim comes semi-aware with swearing and cursing and many incomprehensible monosyllabic starts and stops at the man whom she thinks is the “water…”er, “the waiter.”

The boobs will continue to bury themselves with more boasting and bitching next week, when Erica, who is clearly clueless about interpersonal dynamics of any kind, and who has offered her future hatred for anyone getting the rose(s), will take Lorenzo aside—again—and wail and flail and get even more righteous and critical.

Way to drive that prince in the opposite direction, E. We would even wager he might choose confronting some fire-breathing dragon he must slay rather than face your blathering and overblown (and warped) ego one more week.

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