Bachelor Rose-getting Strategies

Bachelor Rose-getting Strategies by Roxanne McDonald

The twenty-five women arriving at “The Bachelor” mansion this season have amped up the game moves. As Chris Harrison notes, they will do anything to get their man.

They arrived in limos of five bachelorettes each:

First were Sheena, Internet marketing mogul from Walnut Creek, California; Jenni, Phoenix Suns dancer from Wichita, Kansas; Kim, realtor from Woodbridge, Connecticut;

Sarah, bar manager from O’Fallon, Illinois; and Bettina, realtor from Hermosa Beach, California.
Next were news anchor Jessica, from Lady Lake, Florida; graduate student Morgan, from Tempe, Arizona; accounts rep Rigina, from San Diego, California; publishing sales rep Erin, from Tampa, Florida; and ER nurse Tanni, from St. Louis Park, Minnesota.

Third to arrive were DeAnna, a realtor from Newman, California; Juli, a law student from Chicago, Illinois; McCarten, an account manager from San Diego, California; Susan, a project analyst from St. Charles, Illinois; and Lindsey, a model from Livonia, Michigan.

In the next to last limo came Chicago, Illinois acupuncturist, Kristy; Georgetown, Texas esthetician, Solista; Atlanta, Georgia executive assistant, Estefania; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania RN, Hillary; and Annapolis, Maryland biology teacher, Lori.

And in the last limo were Natalie, a law student from Duncanville, Texas; Mallory, a nanny from Honolulu, Hawaii; Michele, a realtor from South Brunswick, New Jersey; Melissa, an event planner from Westchester, New York; and Jade, a boutique salesperson from Nashville, Tennessee.

The women, as new Bachelor Brad said, are all beautiful. But more interesting were the tricks and techniques of tantalizing in a few short hours the man many of them instantly fell goo goo over.

What to Try, According to the Stated or Unstated Strategies

Be confident (Lindsey)
Talk Greek, literally (DeAnna)
Avoid crying and keep from getting drunk (Lori)
Keep friends close, enemies closer (Hillary)
If others dig holes for themselves, let them dig (?)
Throw it all out there, and have fun (Michele)
Survive by being above the cliquishness (?)
Jump and dance and laugh really cutely (Jenni)
Offer HIM a yellow rose, wear a matching yellow dress, and then sing “Yellow Rose of Texas” (Lindsey)
Jump in the pool and suggest he take his pants off and join (Mallory)
Show him your tongue to do some new wave diagnostic (Kristy)

What Not to Try, Accordingly

Showing him your webbed toes (Morgan)
Showing him how limited a drunk’s vocabulary is (Melissa)
Showing him your pretzel position (Juli)

“The Bachelor” 11 is going to be some humdinger of a season of strategizing and simulated sweetness abounding…, provided the women don’t insist on saying so over and over and over in lieu of substantial conversation— yammering, sweet. Sweeeet. Sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet!

Yes, Brad is, but enough, already.

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