Bring on the Boobs

Bring on the Boobs by Roxanne McDonald

They likes their boobs…. “The Next Best Thing” 3 continues to keep us content with the mocking comedy of the judges as they screen a relentless variety and repetition of impersonating wannabes.

Cher # 327 does a fair impersonation. Elon says to her, “Mom, how many times do I have to tell you you can’t be in all my TV shows!?”

Mohammad Ali spars with Jeff.

Stevie Nicks # 17 screeches out a wishful bit, and Jeff just says, “Fleetwood Whack.”
(While we will soon see one in Vegas who is absolutely GORgeous), too too many Elvises get the often deserved cracks in return—a kid, a woman, a guy who claims he is a descendant…. Elon and Jeff and Lisa Ann have a litany of responses, but my favorite is when the way too fat Elvis tries out and Jeffrey calls him “King of the White Castle.”

More miserable moments?

A Bill Clinton—who hears how the real Clinto is one of the most charismatic people on the planet but how he, instead, has about as much charisma as Strom Thermond.
A Barbra Streisand who has only the crossed eye thing.
A Bette Davis who does Cher, too, and then rips off the wig to do a Britney in rehab.
A Tina Turner who has all the energy, charisma, and moves, the judges say, but…the voice of Erkel, says Elon.
A Sammy Davis Junior who just repeats the line “Candy man” over and over and….

A so-so Dolly Parton # 44…who is told that the three of them look great, but….
A Wesley Snipes who is told he came all the way from Illinois to do a bad impersonation of a bad actor….
A bad Hank Williams, Jr.
A bad Cher (again)
A bad Frank Sinatra (who gets the Jeffrey Ross gong belly)
A bad Diana Ross, who walks right into their being able to say she sings more like Jeffrey Ross.

A bad Marilyn Monroe (the oop-oop-ee-doo affect was obnoxious enough on the real Monroe, but at least she could get away with it by oozing sensuality).
Another bad Jack Nicholson, who keeps steamrolling through his routine despite the many attacks.
A great Johnny Cash who made the mistake of bringing along his June Carter, who blew it for the duo.
And a bad Puff Daddy—excuse me, DIDDY—who instead of rapping does a talk-through poetry slam thing and then either intentionally in character argues back, gets all intransigent, and asks Elon Gold, “Who are you?” Elon of course doesn’t miss a beat (which is way more than we can say for this diddy), and says something like, “Let me tell you! I’ve had three cancelled shows in the last four years!!”

Better Moments?

Of all the Orlando auditions, only four made it through to the next round:

An “adorable” Dolly Parton, who sounds like her namesake, too, says Lisa Ann Walker.

Though anUTHer George Bush (pretty hard on viewers who are haters), who is actually funny—does a satirical bit—and to whom Elon says now he sees why George Bush is against cloning, as this one [John Morgan] is smarter and funnier.

One of the more convincing Elvis impersonators (Lordy, do I feel for them when they get to Vegas…).

And a spot-on Robin Williams (who I think out of character looks like Deniro, but who the judges call a runaway freight train and to whom they say how this isn’t fun for them now, as they like to make fun of people).

Favorite moments?

When J-Lo appears and Elon and Jeffrey go nuts, asking if she will marry them, etc.. She looked so so much like Lopez, but, of course had a different thing going when she opened her mouth to sing like her.

Twill be even more fun when the show gets to the semi-final stages.

SirLinksAlot The Next Best Thing links

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