Viva la Vegas Loca
Viva la Vegas Loca by Roxanne McDonald
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Thanks to some gutsy auditioners and some caraaazy editing, the final auditions episode in Las Vegas is a blast. |
In fact, as I ready myself to announce the semi-finalists, I realize that the crazy and speedy delivery of audition material is going to leave my list wanting.
I know, I know, that TiVo system my friends bought me for Xmas two years ago could get hooked up and I would then have nothing to complain about when it comes to missing
vital information. Until I can afford to do that, however, I have to try to keep up with the speedy announcements as best I can and offer here the results I have found thus far:
Not only does host, Michelle Merkin, remind us of the criteria (the look, the voice, the overall performance), but the first auditioner we are shown tells us impersonation requires working on the persona and the physicality.
He does such a great Jay Leno he is passed through to the next round. Elon says it is eerie, as they have all done The Tonight Show, and though he requests more of the high and low (both of which he displays for us), the guy is on to the semi-finals.
Rick James # ten million, Janis Joplin (not shown auditioning), Ozzie Osbourne (doing, of all songs, Patsy Cline’s “Crazy”), and Garth Brooks all horrify the judges.
Oprah Winfrey and John Travolta (who Lisa Ann calls a kind of Mini-me Travolta) fail to impress. And then a Barbra Streisand does impress—with what the judges see is amazing physicality, look, and even talk-alike elements (though I found her singing off in several places).
Billy Idol will be dancing with himself, and Austin Powers minus the British accent will be doing something else by himself. Lisa Ann says anybody can do the two bits Elon asks for (“Yeah, baby,” and “Oh, behave”) and says that even she can…and does.
The next Frank Sinatra sounds and looks like the original, and even though I think his timing is a bit slow (or hesitating), Lisa Ann is in love and awe, and the others find that this Sinatra who stays in character and who has gone the extra lengths (getting blue eye contacts) is the “best Sinatra yet to come….”
A Dolly Parton (not bad, but not good) appears as a ventriloquist to a Kenny Rogers doll.
Alice Cooper looks like AC but then again, almost anyone can do that, so the singing is what will count—and he is counted right out, as he sings “No more mister nice guy.”
Elon says, “No more…singing.”
Lisa Ann says she would like to see this “Alice in Chains.”
And Jeffrey says, “School’s out…forever…for you.”
Somebody Niven does a remarkable Pee Wee Herman, but for some unstated reason the judges pass. (Can the whole PeeWee in the porn house still be a sensitive issue? Or is it that this guy did too many alternate impersonations, dressed as Pee Wee?)
They then show a barrage of other multipersonations: Elvis doing Sammy Davis, Jr., Tom Jones doing Sammy Davis, Jr., Elvis doing Johnny Cash, and John Wayne doing Kate Hepburn.
Dancing and of course Elvis appearances took up a good chunk of time, with so many Elvises they are just numbered—1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7…. But by the time we are shown Elvis #8, we are not so saturated we can’t appreciate a hot as hell younger Elvis, done by Trent Carlini. Wow. I got goose bumps…even if he does look a little more like Rob Schneider doing Elvis. Nevertheless, there are a number of wows from the judges, and Elon even says he is jealous of Carlini’s looks (though he is such a fox he should not be).
Then there are Blues Brothers, Humphrey Bogus (says Jeffrey), Johnny Cash and his “dead off” impression, Jerry Lewis, another Sinatra, Bob Hope, a funny but short of perfect Deniro, a really decent Willie Nelson who got the
hook, and a Howard Cosell that leaves the judges speechless for what reason? Because he went, like the real snorechore Cosell, on and on and on…as the counter ticks past 4 minutes, 5.23 minutes, into 8.19 minutes….
There are several Tina Turners, and though the one I preferred turned out to be a male and they chose one I found less like, their editing was a kick: they split the screen as the Tinas went rollin on the river and had a mix-and-match of heads and legs. Tee hee.
Bette Midler without make-up but with more of a curmudgeon’s scowl than a Bette’s snarkiness started to piss off Elon; the yodeling Patsy Montana stumped them; Arnold Schwarzenegger was weeeeeak; Liberace was a cutie…, until he started to rap; finally a black guy does a Sammy Davis, Jr., but is bad enough to be called Sammy Davis Erkel; and some guy in a suit is doing…who…oh, right, a bad DeNiro.
Another John Wayne talks about the Duke in the third person; and Elon asks if the wax museum knows he has escaped. Another round of dancing clips includes Lisa fawning over an Elvis taking his shirt off. A sweet kid tries her scissorhands. Hack Nicholson shows and goes. Sylvester Stallone/Rocky is pretty convincing…until he, too, raps, and Lisa Ann falls against Elon saying, “Cut me, Mick, cut me, I can still see im.”
And more borechores include Johnny Carson as the Great Whatever, Rick James as a super no, W.C. Fields not juggling, an adorable Fran Drescher, and the grand switch artist—who was brilliant in two roles…as she auditioned twice…as Marilyn Monroe and as Shania Twain. She got to choose which personality she would go to the semi-finals as, and opted for Shania.
GOING to the SEMI-FINALS
Sebastian Anzaldo, as Frank Sinatra
Trent Carlini, as Elvis Presley
Donny Edwards, as Elvis Presley
Michael Foresteri, as Jay Leno
Craig Gaff, as Al Pacino
Suzanne LaRouche, as Lucille Ball
Buck McCoy, as Tim McGraw
— Mead, as George W. Bush
Gary Moore, as Little Richard
John Morgan, George W. Bush
Brigitte Valdez, as Celine Dion
Cookie Watkins, as Barbra Streisand (or Tina Turner?)
Stacey Whitton Summers, as Shania Twain
Mike Wilson, as Simon Cowell
? and ? as Jackie Gleason and Art Carney (Ralph Kramden and Ed Norton)
? as Bono
? as Jack Nicholson
? as Dolly Parton
? as Robin Williams
? as Robin Williams
? as Rodney Dangerfield
? as Howard Stern
? as Paris Hilton
? as Gloria Estefan
? as Kenny Chesney
? as Austin Powers
? as Madonna
? as Roseanne
? as Tina Turner
Again, I wish to be left alone about the mistakes in spelling or omission, as I have yet to catch up and the official Next Best Thing website is NO help. (I will discuss this in a later article, oh, yes, I will, Mr. Man.)
SirLinksAlot Next Best Thing links
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