Top Design Negatives and Positives

Top Design Negatives and Positives by Roxanne McDonald

Last week, the premiere of Bravo’s Top Design brought infighting and fussing and frustrations…right from the start. Episode two brings frustrations and confessions and quirks of a different sort.

Whether it was all his doing that his controlling ways, unrelenting attitude, and nasty attitude toward teammate Michael landed the paired competitors in the bottom two in week one, John recants his hostility.

John Gray confides to fellow Top Design housemates that he is HIV positive and had recently been injected with an increased (by 400%) dosage of testosterone. Gray had planned for the extra shots not knowing how long the show would keep him away from home and doctors. This extra male hormone certainly revealed its impact in the way John sniped at Michael Adams (with whom he was paired for the first challenge to design a mystery guest’s relaxation

space), the way he refused to bend in any design ideas Michael had, as he belittled Michael during the building of their first set, and as he insulted Michael in front of the judges: he expressed his quintessential disgust with slurs and stances that would make anyone shrivel (but mind you, Michael has announced to the world that he doesn’t have to justify or testify or compete—or whatever, I can’t remember—as he is the best, sniff, sniff).
And John (who started the program by turning up a nose at “queeny” housemates) and Michael (who in episode two, though he boasts being the best yada yada, has created a kid’s room that looks like it belongs in an “assisted living facility,” the judges say) are not the only ones to watch:

Andrea may not be the excuse mistress of the show, as that was John’s final claim to fame (on Top Design, anyway), but she might just be runner up. The missing je ne sais quois in her design is in paper bags, as she ran out of time, she says, and that does NOT sit well as a reason but as an excuse. And there is a difference.

Carisa has extended the swing-happy thing—or poached the idea: she creates a boy’s room with climbing ropes which recalls the swing that was designed by Elizabeth and Goil in week one and that was a big hit with guest Alexis Arquette. Then again, maybe Carisa is just smart enough to mimic…as opposed to going with too drab and dull a design filled redundant with pillows or whatnot.

Elizabeth just seems, well, a bit quirky. I can’t figure her out, yet, but will keep an eye on her as teacher? Loft Matron? Top Designer? Heh-heh. The sandbox should be a good clue.

Eric looks like he might be the dark horse type: he is smirky without using too many words to convey his precocious and posed prima donna presence. While the first thing we hear him say upon arriving in the competitors’ loft is there is no damned space allotted for his mascara, he keeps quiet for the most part—just using that right eyebrow to convey his superiority, insouciance, or something.

Felicia is the elegant, observant, type A designer. Methinks she might just be the [Project Runway] Laura of the group.

Goil will probably be a favorite, a pet of choice for Top Design fans. He keeps to himself, gets all fascinated with sleep number beds and secret hiding spaces, and keeps busy solving the “puzzle” that he says is interior design.

Heather has gone on to touch up or torture other rooms in the houses of life. She was booted the first night, for, she says, being stupid enough to allow teammate Lisa to decide the design for the first competition. She has no background or education in ID, so that might justify her permanent exile. Though we might remember that many talents are not of the mainstream minutae of degrees and the like….

Lisa has taken her Asian aesthetic out the decorating door, as well. She and Heather were the first team to be turned away from the competition when Lisa ran with the Asian bedroom theme, which was more like a Chinese restaurant, the judges decided.

Matt is hard to measure at this early point in the game. Just keep an eye on the way he regards expert interior design judge Kelly Wearstler. Maybe he has a thing for her. Maybe he is just star-struck. At any rate, he has some originality and fresh creative approaches to the challenges, they say.
Ryan is the [Top Chef] Sam of the show. Though he may be a little less refined or reserved (ha, reserved!? He is the self-proclaimed Henry Rollins meets Evil Knievel, wielding skateboard and artist’s brushes at once), he has that air of respectfulness that might just make him a Top Design sweetheart. If he can get over designing rooms around the clients’ cats….

So, Michael has ID in his blood, having been the little boy who instead of playing baseball with the kids was inside watching Dynasty; and dear John tried to tone down his tantrums. But think about the designing mind: is it less constricted by testosterone to begin with? Not to get into stereotypes and generalities—which are better left to the DNA scientists—but with 400% more testosterone in your system, wouldn’t you rather pound face than pound push pins?
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